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I've been asking myself this for years. Tell me what you think.

I have no self-confidence 90% of the time. I second-guess every decision I make to the point of inaction. I always think people think I'm a bad person even when I don't have evidence to back it up. I'm so afraid to talk to people at work that I can't do my job and miss deadlines constantly.

In my social life, I'm practically a shut-in. I love my wife, but I'm constantly relying on her for support to the point where she gets frustrated with me for not believing in myself. I'm timid in the bedroom and I never initiate sex because I'm scared she'll say no.

I feel like the world is a hostile place and I'm frightened and inadequate in every way. Despair is a common emotion for me.

I've done counseling before, but the guy was just a therapist, really, and couldn't or wouldn't diagnose me with any disease. I've taken Zoloft, but I didn't like the way it made me feel.

What should I do about this? Is this abnormal?

2007-01-10 09:32:36 · 5 answers · asked by Jeff 3 in Health Mental Health

5 answers

It sounds like you have fears and issues that are affecting your life so much that you can't function properly. It's not so much a matter of whether it's normal or not, but whether you want to change your life for the better,and it sounds like you do.

I think you should go back to another therapist and tell them all that's going on; get their opinion. Therapists can make diagnoses but they generally tend to be psychologists, or at least that's been my experience. Psychiatrists can also make diagnoses but they generally don't do much in the way of psycho-therapy. You may want to go to a psychiatrist first for an assessment and then have them refer you to a therapist. Also, it's not unusual to try a couple of different therapists before finding one that's right for you. There has to be a connection and sometimes, for whatever reasons, there isn't always the best connection between a therapist and client.

Medications can help with anxiety and depression but it sounds like you may need to do some cognitive therapy too and work on ways in which you can improve your communication skills and your self-confidence. Just remember to take things one step at a time and not look at the whole picture, otherwise it's too overwhelming. You may even want to have some therapy sessions with your wife too so that you and she can work together on better communication and she can get a better idea of what's going on with you.

You don't need to live like this and things can get better. It takes work but if you find a good therapist and practice skills to improve your outlook and confidence then it will happen. :)

2007-01-10 10:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I think it would be a good idea for you to try counseling again. Psychotherapy has the best effects, however it takes too long which is the reason many doctors give medications. You might be suffering from a mood disorder. You can actually match up your symptoms on the DSM IV- which if I am not mistaken you can google an on-line version, but do not self diagnois. Just use it as a guide.
There are certain neurotic trends that people experience- which is what you are experiencing, however you are displaying the extreme of neurotic behaviors.
Since you did not like the way the zoloft made you feek, just try the therapy w/o the meds. See a psychologist and not a psychiatrist. If you are not having suicidal ideations then you may not need meds anyway.

2007-01-10 10:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by WORLD FAMOUS 3 · 0 0

What you are feeling is not "abnormal" it is actually quite common. It sounds like you are suffering from depression. You should contact a doctor (psychologist or psychiatrist) for a consolation. Psychiatrist's can prescribe medication on the spot, a psychologist will refer you to a medical doctor for a prescription that will help. If the Zoloft didn't make you feel good, try another and at a different doe, most people need to adjust the dose of the meds so they can feel "balanced". I also think you should know that it is good that you are aware of your feeling about others as well as with your wife. Understanding the feeling your having can help you modify the behaviors you have when you feel them. For example, if you do no initiate with your wife because you are afraid of her reaction, you can make a conscience effort to do so. The same is true for situations with co worker, if you conscience work at being friendly or more outgoing, then you will be.

2007-01-10 10:17:57 · answer #3 · answered by teamteacher 2 · 0 0

It's perfectly normal - when you suffer from depression. Trust me I know. I feel like you do in so many of the ways you described. I was formally diagnosed at age 18 but I had it well before then. I am 31 now so I have been struggling with it for nearly all of my life. I am currently in therapy but he honestly doesn't do anything that I find helpful. I have also tried anti-depressant drugs but in my case they proved to be problematic. The medications either did not work or caused very unpleasant side effects.

I suggest you go back to your doctor and get a referral to a psychiatrist if you want to seek help with medications. Do not let the family practitioner prescribe the meds because they have less experience and they tend not to follow up with you like a specialist would.

I hope you find the help you need whether it be medications or a combination of meds and therapy. Good luck...

2007-01-10 10:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0 0

You may have a mental illness don't be so hard on yourself just try to get some help. Try to see a psychiatrist and see what he or she says.

2007-01-10 10:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by Adelaide V 3 · 0 1

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