My ex-boyfriend dumped me a year ago, yet last week he called me and asked me to go see a movie with him. I went with him, he picked me up & after the movie he just took me home.On the drive home, when I asked him why he wanted to see me, he said that he wants to see me 'every once in awhile'. By the way, we never had sex during our relationship cuz he knew that I wanna save myself for marriage. In fact, it never went past kissing. Do guys "hang out" and stay friends with all of thier exes or only some and should I feel special that he wants to see me even as a friend? What are his REAL intentions? Did he feel bad for dumping me a year ago and that's why he wanted to see me or does he REALLY wanna be friends & just miss me?
2007-01-10 09:21:56 · 35 answers · asked by Hottie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There can be the hanging out as friends as guilt, but not a year later. A guy probably doesn't stay close friends with all ex's, so I think you can be pretty sure he actually really likes you and likes to hang out with you. What his motives are is another story, maybe he just wants friendship, maybe a reminder of what he had in the past, maybe keeping options open for the future, who knows.
2007-01-10 09:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by JB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he did not show any intentions by making a move on you during that night at the movies or the drive home, then I really think he is just being a friend and is doing it so as to not lose contact with you. Not all break ups end up being bad. There are some who still keep in contact with their ex partners and remain friends. It really depends on how/why the break up happened/occured. If it was done in a dignified way and the reason was just that you don't think that you are a ideal fit for each other to spend the rest of your life with them then I don't see why people can't remain as friends.
w
2007-01-10 09:55:25 · answer #2 · answered by Wibble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If sex doesn't fall into the thoughts then he must still like you a lot but as a guy, I do have my moments of sexual desires and when you've had sex you most always want it. You being a virgin makes it so easy for you to just say no, not having ever experienced it you can't desire it but if he has had sex before then you can bet he is wanting it in one way or another.
You do know you can have sex without intercourse don't you? You might want to explore those possibilities. He wants to be your good friend and won't compromise your desires until you're ready but he is hopping for a slight chance for it down deep.
2007-01-10 09:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I am not a guy but I think that women know about this as well. There are some people who are interested and capable in hanging out as just freinds after they broke up. The fact that a) you tow didn't sleep together and b) it was after a year of being apart that he called, I don't think its some pity hang-out session. I think he probably does genuinely care and want to stay friends. There is no reason he would call after a year to just hang out unless he really did just want to be friends or was interested in getting back together. I think ask him flat out, but I bet he just does really want to stay friends and after a year of space, hes probably ready to do that.
Good luck!
2007-01-10 09:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by Heart of Gold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people have different reasons for staying in touch, or wanting to stay in touch.. i don't think it is out of guilt though..
yes, dumping can be a very hard decision to make and can be just as emotionally tough for the dumper as the dumpee..
the fact that he called you out of the blue after so long, well, that is interesting.. could be he finally got over the sad feelings of the break up and wants to stay friends with you.. or could be he wants to see you again because he may want to try a relationship again..
people always want to see to stay in touch with ex partners as i think it's a way of trying to "salvage" something positive from a situation they see as a failure.. and yes, having a relationship end is a failure or sort, but it should also be taken as a positive learning experience.
i think he feels sad that his relationship with you didn't work out, and i think he wants to see you just as a reminder of the good times you had together..
the "once in a while" comment seems strange. it's as if he doesn't want to be friends. just aquaintances.. not really sure.
bottom line, don't worry too much about his wants and needs..
worry about yourself.. if you want to see him now and then, then go for it. but if it's too emotional for you, then turn him down.
by the way, that is so awesome that you are a virgin. me too.. save it for someone really special, no matter how long you have to wait! congrats!
2007-01-10 09:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, I would never let an ex guilt me into anything. But then again, for me to break up with someone there has to be a huge good reason, and they have to not want to work it out, or they say they want to but don't try. So I don't feel that I have anything to be guilty about by dumping them.
Now someone who dumps someone for no reason other than to just to get with someone else, they should feel guilty. I don't do such things, so I'm good.
2007-01-10 09:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by wanderingphotographer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your coronary heart say? Honestly, I believe that a destroy up is a destroy up and notably when he went back to his ex and realized that he made a mistake, why must you be at his beck and call? He knows that you're a accountable fall-back plan, and that is precisely what you should now not be. If he left you without pondering twice I believe that you can find anyone else who could make you even happier that you're now and who would cherish you for who you might be.
2016-08-10 11:38:09 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart say? relatively, i think of that a wreck up is a wreck up and exceedingly while he went back to his ex and found out that he made a mistake, why would desire to you be at his beck and phone? He knows which you're a reliable fall-back plan, and that's strictly what you will desire to not be. If he left you with out questioning two times i think of which you will discover somebody else who could make you even happier which you at the instant are and who could cherish you for who you're.
2016-10-30 13:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by bason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would never want to hang around with an ex. An ex is just that......ex. So I'd find someone new. My suspicions are that it's been a year now, and maybe he was hoping that you had already gone to bed with someone, and maybe he would get lucky. I applaud you for saving yourself for your wedding night. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-10 10:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hung out with my ex out of guilt. Not good. It only hurt him more because I didn't really give him a chance to get over us and soon I was in love with another guy whom I later married. We've been happily married eight years but I still feel bad that I hurt my ex a second time.
2007-01-10 09:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋