I am so confused and I don't know how to act.I have a bf(of4months)and our realtionship is great, I love him,he cares for me.I am 18 years old and he is one year older than me and this year he started the university.The next week his exams will begin and here is my problem.he totaly forgoten his social life this month.I haven't seen him for10 days(and this never happened before, we were seeing each other every day,now we are just talking over the phone)he is like obssesed with his exams saying that he will never pass them, that has no time etc and I just don't know how to act and help him.On one side I miss him sooo much and I would love to see him because I have a feeling that I don't have a bf anymore and on the other side I don't want to pressure him because I want him to pass them and I don't want to be responsible for his failures.So I am in between and I don't know what to tell him.I don't want him to think that I don't understand him.Every day on the phone is the same story:(
2007-01-10 07:41:32 · 29 answers · asked by ♥beautyfly♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take a deep breath. You are having withdraws. You are used to seeing him everyday.
Tell yourself that this is only temporary. The exams will be over soon and the both of you can celebrate his high scores afterwards.
Help him by leaving him alone to study. I'm sure you could find something to occupy your time to take your mind off of him.
He seems to be a great guy wanting to study; you should honor him by sacrificing your time together.
It's only temporary.
2007-01-11 04:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by Terry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its only a couple more days for goodness sake, relax!
Be the first one to end the conversation; say, "I know u have a lot of work, so I dont want to keep you, call me tom and let me know how you're doing," stuff like that. "How's the studying going? I'm proud of u for working so hard. You wil pass, dont worry." Stuff like that. Just give him a little encouragement, don't pressure him, keep it brief, and be patient til the exams are over. This is not a big deal. Learn to control your emotions now at a young age, with these relatively trivial situations. Life will throw alot more stuff at ya later than this, believe me. This is small potatoes, honey. Take my advice, thats all u have to do... :)
2007-01-10 15:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is good that you are being so supportive-- that you put his needs first, in regards to his education. Your boyfriend should be proud to have a girlfriend who is so understanding.
On the other hand, you should remind your boyfriend that he needs to take a break from studying-- even if it is just for a few hours. Treat him to a quiet dinner, or a movie to take his mind off his troubles. Men need pampering, too. You just have to present it in a creative way. Tell him how much his success means to you, and let him know that going into the exams stress-free is as important as studying. If he doesn't bite, then I would suspect there is something he has not told you about.
2007-01-10 15:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by monica_dietz@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him the room he needs for his studies right now. When the exams are over, not only will the relationship go back to what it was before, it will be even better because he will appreciate your understanding. If you love him like you said, while this will be hard, it is not something you can not do. Hang in there, I am sure it is worth the compromise.
2007-01-10 15:47:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sandra D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a mature person who is putting his academics first. Send him a note of support or a basket of study snacks.
Don't make demands on him. You should be focusing on school as well. Applying to college, etc. It's always hard when your bf is not putting you first but in this case it's really the right thing for him to do. If he were to blow off studying to hang with you, he would be making a mistake.
Make plans to celebrate after his exams are over.
2007-01-10 15:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by anirbas 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I read the who thing.
It appears that you have some un-selfless obsession rather than his obsession with exam. Paying attention to and preparing for exam is not a bad social thing. This period is not going to last very long but what will last longer is the feeling you may create if you start nagging him for total attention at this age in life when he is preparing for a better life for himself and his future mate.
wait and see until exam is over and if he continues to avoid you then it may be a different storey.
Check how long will his exams last. Then check on your patience meter if your patience can take it (his genuine reasons for attending to maters of exams).
2007-01-10 16:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ottawan-Canada 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to study for exams is hard. I've been there, done that. I'm sure he hasn't forgotten you and that he misses you. But if he wants to finish school to get his career going he needs to pass his exams. Try to occupy your time by reading, going out with friends and family. Give him some space so that he can study. If you 2 love one another everything will be fine.
2007-01-10 15:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by kim_in_craig 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't stay away from each other?...well, buy a cheia pet!...lol...just kidding....in the begining of a relationship, you'll always want to see each other, but sometimes if there is a reason then you should try to understand. Let him know and how you feel. Love is'nt fair all the time...you can feel like your in heaven one minute then in hell the next. Take your time and try to communicate with one and another. I know you don't want to be anoying or bossy, but it's your feelings that makes you feel alone.
"communicate"...hope it helps and if not, think Cheia Pet!! :-P lol.
2007-01-10 15:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by Zoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be supportive and when he says he needs to get back to his studies agree and wish him luck. It's hard to help someone study for exams over the phone, without notes, etc. So chances are you won't be able to help much. Just make sure you are on his side and don't add stress on. In the meantime, enjoy your time with other frinds and activities.
2007-01-10 15:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't pressure him! Period. If everyday he goes to school and works hard at it, that is a great thing. How he performs in University will reflect on him for the rest of his and possibly your life. If he does well and finishes school, he will be in a better position for a different life, a better life. It takes time and hard work to get good grades. Which in return will help him land a better job. Be helpful not needy, be encouraging, not a burden. I don't want to put you in a negative position but I hope you understand that he is making choices that are good. Help him and you will be helping yourself. I hope things work out for you.
2007-01-10 15:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by freesample1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋