My first husband and I divorced almost 10 years ago. While I admit I had my faults we sought counseling while we were married because of his control issues and then he became emotionally abusive always calling me a sl*t and a whore. I was never unfaithful and he actually never accused me of cheating.
It was a very difficult divorce and the custody dispute was a nightmare that went on for almost 2 years! At one point my attorney had to tell him to stop saying I was a whore considering he had no proof that I was promiscuous before, during or after our marriage.
A couple of years ago my best friend told me that my ex called her out of the blue and said that the 2 of them should have gotten together after she and her husband split up.
She and I laughed about it because it seemed so pathetic.
Then recently he started calling me at work saying that he is sorry that there has been this rift between us and that he wants us to be friends especially for our child's sake(will add more info)
2007-01-10 07:39:28 · 10 answers · asked by mamabunny 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I told him that I was gong to have a hard time trusting him after so many years of his hateful behavior and he said he understood. Then the other weekend that he came to pick up our daughter he said he wanted to talk to me (this was the firt time my husband wasn't home when my ex has come over). We were outside and my daughter was already in his vehicle waiting but she wasn't paying attention to us. He began coming on to me saying that he wanted me sexually and that he has never gotten over me.
I was in shock! I told him that I needed to leave and just ran in the house.
I spoke with my attorney and we are taking him back to court.
But my question is: what kind of disturbed mind am I going up against?
2007-01-10 07:45:04 · update #1
He's an abusive man who is using "friendliness" to regain the control over you he once had. He no longer has the power to abuse you, so if he gains your trust again, he can start his cycle of abuse again. It can start off sounding innocent, saying your t-shirt looks too tight, and asking if your husband minds.... then escalating into mental/emotional abuse.
Be way, don't let down your guard, and try to have you husband very present when the ex comes around. Abusers never change, they just modify their tactics.
2007-01-10 10:48:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really have no answers for you, since you are already taking the necassary steps against him. However, he sounds almost like a stalker! If that is the case, then get a restraining order on him, and when you go back to court, petition the court that he can only pick up his daughter when your husband is home, outside in front of the neighbors. And ask a neighbor to be a "watch dog" when he comes to get her and drop her off. (call her and let her know when he is coming over) You need protection! But so does your daughter, as he may very well use her as bait to get at you. So be careful! I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him! He's dangerous!
2007-01-10 08:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that this man is verbally abusive and you did the right thing by getting a divorce. Also, think carefully before allowing your child to spend time with him - is he a competent parent, can he be trusted with a child based on his aggression/abusive nature? Don't let him convince you to be close to him again. People like that never change and only want you back because they realize no one else is willing to put up with them. I spent a long time in an abusive relationship, so I'm speaking from experience.
2007-01-10 07:47:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like using slut and whore are his immature ways of expressing his unhappiness/anger. It is not acceptable.
In taking him back to court, are you asking for more money? If so, he may think if he just got back together with you he could save money and spend more time with his daughter. Just a thought.
2007-01-10 18:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by spiritualjourneyseeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of Austin Powers replaced into the only guy which would be able to seal the deal on that. even nevertheless, i does not ideas seeing Cowbell in a crushed velvet jumper. you comprehend, for prosperity's sake.
2016-11-28 02:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very sick. Keep your distance and make sure your daughter also stays away from him. You sound as though you have a good attorney. Follow his advice and get on with your life.
2007-01-10 07:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray for him, Let him know that time has passed and that you have moved on and that you would like to be civil, not necasarilly friends. let him know that it is over completely and it is time to move forward. Do not be alone with him. He needs help for himself and I don't think that you would be a viable source. Pray for him.
2007-01-10 07:53:52 · answer #7 · answered by TAHOE REALTOR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah thats a man for you. if he could do better than you he would be and he would forget all about you. dont fall for his school yard bullsh!t
2007-01-10 07:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by eskew_obfuscation 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. He's already shown you his true colours. He is obviously unstable!
2007-01-10 12:57:13 · answer #9 · answered by Screamin' Banshee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur ex. is physco. run away!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-10 07:48:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋