Why do parents always let their youngest to do whatever they want?

Question

I know this is so patetic but iv noticed more lately that my mum and dad let my sister off with everything if it has anything to do with me. If i asked my sister to do something or lend me something she says no, my mum will have a go at her but then just leave it but if i say no to my sister id get a right bollic in and have to do or lend whatever it is my sister wants. My sister is the most selfish cow i have met and i am not exaggerating, she just doesnt know how to do anything for anyone unless she gets something out of it.

Answer 1

The thing with parenting is even those who've always looked after kids find having their own is so overwhelmingly different. They're not prepared for the emotion that hits them and their first child is often 'treated like china' or 'wrapped in cotton wool'. When they have another they are a little more relaxed, they've figured kids don't break so easily and they chill out a little. My neighbour has six kids - she says the first was dragged to the doctor as soon as he sneezed - the last needed a limb hanging off to warrent a worry!
This makes it seem like younger siblings get away with murder - in a way they do!
If your sister really is that difficult your parents may find they don't want to fight every little issue with her - they'll pick their battles - and it'l seem she gets away with a lot.
Best advice is realise that you're the better daughter, and they know that - even if they can't say it.
Oh and take pity on her - she sounds pathetic - you're learning good life lessons and will be independent when you leave home - she's gonna find real life difficult and will probably still be at home when she's 40!
I know it's difficult - punch a pillow, chew a cushion and scream in the yard!

Answer 2

This is very, very, common. You're parents are more mature now... yeah, that's right, they grow up too. They know a lot of their fears about you were unnecessary, so they go easier on the next in line.

Then she becomes spoiled. They tend to think it is her personality instead of them spoiling her. They also are seeing their nest getting smaller. You're going and your little sister is all they will have until she leaves. Believe me, they think you are going to take care of your sister after they are gone from this earth. You are the one they put all the maturity trust in.

You still need to remind your parents that although you are the most mature you get your feeling hurt when you feel that you are not as special as your sister. You need to do this privately with each parent individually. Instead of telling them what they have been doing "ask" them why they are raising her different. Get some firm examples in your mind first.

Avoid telling them how bad she is as they will discount that as normal sister jealousy. Don't do the "pouting" routine, but do the "hurt" routine.

Parents need to be reminded sometimes. They put you more on their level because you are more mature and believe me, they don't really realize that you are not raising your sister along with them.

BTW, you're not "pathetic" as almost every older child has felt the exact same way. Many kids don't bring this up to their parents until they have left home... it's better to do it now.

Don't expect things to happen overnight as they will need to think about this some. Don't accept it if they try to make you feel that you are exaggerating, just tell them it's your feelings and that is how you feel.

Oh... also, in addition, as parents get older they have more money and tend to give more things to the younger one that you didn't get. You will really notice this after you leave home.

Answer 3

I have the same problem with my ten-years-younger brother (he's 10, I'm 20). I call him "the little prince". My parents spoiled me when I was his age, I'll admit it. But I was also disciplined. He gets spoiled to the point that I've noticed when my boyfriend and I go to my parents' house for dinner, he gets to sit in the living room watching cartoons or playing video games while the rest of us are having dinner at the dinner table. The only thing is, he doesn't eat his food. Yeah, sure I got to watch TV and eat dinner, but if I didn't eat everything on my plate I was sent to bed hungry. And I never would have gotten the priviledge of eating in the living room when we had company (even if it is just me and my boyfriend). He's very stingy too. He just wants to show you what his Nintendo Wii can do. You can't play it, you have to watch him. And God forbid you win a game. He's the biggest cry-baby ever! My parents will even tell me, "now, let him win a few". THAT'S NO WAY TO TEACH A KID!! I got told to pick a switch (that's southern for "go outside and get a thin stick from a tree that makes noise when I swing it and leaves red welps on your skin"). He's never had a hand go across any part of his body! And he never goes outside. When I was his age and younger, I was outside about everyday playing and exploring. He stays inside watching cartoons and playing video games. And my parents wonder why he's so unhealthy. I suggested they watch that TV show "Honey, We're Killing The Kids".

Answer 4

I am the youngest in my family and that is not true at all. In fact by the time I was born I think my mom had lost all hope for my bothers so she was very hard on me. I understand now that I am a mother how hard it can be. I don't think your mom and dad Know how you feel have you talked to then? I know it is hard to believe this but some time mom and dads just don't know what there kids are thinking. Talk to them tell them how you are feeling.

Oh and as for you sister. It sounds to me like she is tiring to get you into trouble Don't raise to her bait that is what she wants.

Answer 5

Because they learn with the eldest /elder children that strictness brings antagonism.

Also they probably think that the youngest will respond automatically to the rules of theelder siblings.

They also become more relaxed with the rules as the kid numbers increase.

It was quite common for my mother to have to apologise for assuming I was in the wrong - cos my younger sister was just too sweet and young to do such stuff :)

Answer 6

I had the same problem to the point I left home at aged 15, trouble is I then worked hard to make myself the better person, and my younger sister still expects life to flow her way, she is in a terrible marriage and is perpetuating the circle by being the same with her children. I like to think I treat mine equally. Dont let this affect your self esteem.

Answer 7

My sister always used to feel the same.I think they get tired of shouting and laying down the law as they get older.I can tell you that the youngest child is not always the most spoilt and in some cultures its the eldest or even the male siblings regardless of age.

Answer 8

Really, I always thought that it was the eldest sibling that got exactly what they wanted and always got a way with things and the youngest didn't. Because that's how it was for me and my friends and the majority of people I know.

The only thing you can do is talk to your parents and tell them that you don't think its fair that your sister gets away with and then state some of the things that she has gotten away with. Tell them that you don't think its fair that they give in to her so easily

Answer 9

I totally agree with you. I dont know what it is with the youngest. My little sister is the same way. One day I just broke it down to my moms and you know what she told me. Well things are different now and I have gotten a lot of older. I was like that sucks

Answer 10

Believe me i know exactly what your saying.

My bro gets it all, he's 7 years younger and has everything handed to him on a plate. He eats my food and drinks my alcohol but says if its left downstairs its for everyone to eat. Ma & Pa dont say a word. He doesnt pay board and got his car given to him, when i've paid board since i started working and i had to save up for my car.

If i mention anything, then i'm being childish and coz i'm older i should know better than to be jealous!!!! As if, i'm jealous of a spolit brat!

If i could ruddy move out i would!