I went in the rest room at Safeway to a urinal a man had his 5 or 7yr old daughter in the stall: what is that?

Question

I am 55. Let me tell you the "Standard'" as I know it. It is ok for a woman to take a "young" boy in the women's rest room because they all do it and are not suprised. Plus, they have stalls for everyone. A urinal is out in the open. I got the hell out of there because I thought I heard a girl And watced the SOB come out. People are having children that they are just not ready to cope with. I see it all the time.

Answer 1

Its certainly not ideal, but what if he is a single dad? Where is he supposed to take her? I agree its awkward, but I doubt she'll see anything that will scar her for life, and its preferable to letting her go somewhere by herself these days.

Answer 2

Hi Peter - After scrolling through the 19 answers so far to your question, it appreared that the great majority were female respondents. I am a male, a little older than you (59), and find myself more aligned with their comments than with yours.

Unlike one reply, I'll assume you've had children of your own. I've been a dad to girls and boys, and have been the only one with both boy and the girls. The mom has also been the only one with both boy and girls. When you're out and they've gotta go, they've gotta go.

It is a dilemma, and I felt more like I was damned if I do You're never going to please everybody, so you've got to do what seems logical and safest at the time. Your comment about it being OK for a woman to take her son into the women's room but not OK for a male to take his daughter into the men's room is grossly unfair to both genders and grossly unfair.

There are only a couple options:
1) Family bathrooms, of which there are not nearly enough, mostly at shopping malls;
2) Parent takes opposite gender child into parent's gender bathroom, as the man had done; or
3) Parent finds "helpful adult" of same gender as child who agrees to take child in same gender bathroom while parent waits outside. No one's going to be abducted under those circumstances, and any parent who hasn't instructed their child to scream bloody murder at appropriate contact is the parent who's not coping.

At 5 or 7, the occasions I took a daughter into the men's room, I make sure it was unoccupied first. I let her go into the stall and do her thing (maybe with assistance getting ready before and getting collected after) but standing outside the stall while she was in there. On a very few occasions, we might have a male step in, but I made sure she kept chatting about shopping so he would know, and 99.9% of the time they'd step out for a minute until we were done.

I've been the male walking in to a men's room and when it was evident there was a dad in there with his daughter, I'd step out as well and give them a few moments, unless I was about ready to wet my pants myself, in which case I'd be discreet about peeing. What made you think he was an SOB? In my mind, he's being a responsible parent, coping with the realities of parenthood.

With all that in mind, I will say that I'm a pretty openminded northern California child of the 60's who'se always felt that many of societies problems today come from the repressive hangups about what is natural. I could get into the ban on public nursing, but that's a whole other matter and I'm too tired tonight to get on that platform in support of what's natural. I will never forget the first time I went into a bathroom in Japan, was standing at the urinal, and as I turned around, there was a female over a squat to pee toilet ten feet behind me. I was surprised, but I figured if she didn't freak out, why shoud I. It was a unisex multiple user bathroom. Peace be from an old hippie

Answer 3

Standards change and the guy was being a good father spending time with his daughter but when you gotta take a leak you just cant leave a small child sitting alone in todays society people are freaks they will run off with a kid to do god knows what or freak out thinking that this kid was abandoned because her daddy had to pee think back how many times in your day did you go shopping alone with your kids now imagine that your a good 15 minutes away from home at a store and you cant leave your little girl alone because something weird might happen and you would feel guilty if it did but on the otherhand that big gulp is about to bust out the end of your hose with no stop unless you drain it then what would you do piss yourself or take your daughter into the restroom, i admit in the stall is a lil creepy but then there is no worry of his kid getting swipped so think about that a minute.

Answer 4

You have to give the man the benefit of the doubt. Just like women, men have children too. We can't assume just because a man came out of the stall he is doing heinous things to the child. They were probably in the stall because the little girl had to go to the bathroom. If I was her dad, I would have probably brought her in the bathroom with me so I know where she is at and not let some psycho take her. Women are abducting children too in this world. Just listen and read the news.
I don't understand your comment about people are having children and not ready to cope with. How is the girl supposed to go to the bathroom? Do you expect her dad to have her relieve herself on the floor? Now if that wasn't the father and some psycho then we have problems.

Answer 5

Maybe because of the era you grew up in you think this is bad or even out of the ordinary, but it is neither. I am 49, so almost as old as you. I took my daughter with me when I was in charge and shopping with her all the time, when she was still too young to go by herself, I guess 6 or so maybe 7. My wife took our son if she had the kids till about the same age.

That was back, primarily in the mid-70's to early 80's. It is just not uncommon. He may be an only parent you know. Or he may have just had her with him if mom is working, etc.

There are even baby changing stations in many if not most men's rooms now.

i encounter this and I do what others did when they encountered me and my daughter. That is to go about my business and let them do the same. If the child comes out of the stall and passes by the urinal, I try to lean in out of respect for her.

When kids have to pee they have to pee and better there than on the floor.

There are many unisex bathrooms in large cities now. Europe has these too and has for some time.

Some places have family bathrooms and I'm sure he would have gone there if there was one, but I'm betting Safeway doesn't have one. More places still don't than do.

It's no big deal, and certainly not worth getting upset about.

Sometimes as things change we just have to change our paradigms.

Take Care!

Answer 6

That's a tough situation for a parent to be in. I always felt kind of weird about taking my son into the ladies room when he was 5, but there was no way I was going to let him go into the men's room by himself. I wouldn't really want my daughter to go into the men's room, but I would probably prefer my husband to take her in there (checking first to see that there wasn't anyone using a urinal and then if somenone came in waiting in the stall until they left. ) The father had his daughter in the stall. What was he supposed to do? I don't really think that you could say that this father had a child he wasn't ready to cope with, at least he was looking out for her and not letting her go off by herself.

Answer 7

In today's society, children get taken by others all of the time. A child alone in a bathroom, even a women's bathroom, is an easy target. If the father was the only parent available and the child had to go, I can understand why he wouldn't want to let her go to the bathroom by herself. Yes, 7 years old is getting to the age that a girl could go to the bathroom by herself with the father standing outside of the door, but younger than that I could see accompanying her into the men's bathroom, but I would announce it to the others in the room and cover her eyes while passing the urinals.

Answer 8

I really cant believe that you would find that a big deal. Obviously he was by himself with her, so where exactely did you expect her to go??? In the ladies room by herself I DONT THINK SO. I always take my sons(of which I have 2) into the womans room if they have to go. They are not going into the mens room by themselves. She was in a darn stall. like she would see anything anyhow, its not like he was holding her over the urinal, she wasnt exposed to anyone, nor was anyone exposed to her. And if somone was at a urinal when she came out, well its not like its flopping all over the place(unless your doing something you shouldn't be doing in public anyway). Obviously you don't have children and obviously you wouldn't be able to deal with children. Ya gotta go---- ya gotta go and you should just get over it already. By the way, just cause she's a girl doesn't mean anything, little boys have the same reactions and questions that little girls would, I KNOW.

Answer 9

Chuck E. Cheese would be a rewarding place, whether it may be extra of a "take a female offspring and bypass away your son at the back of with a observe" instead of an exact commerce. Your son would be fantastic as long as you supply him a super form of tokens to instruct how lots you like him. in simple terms bear in mind which you will't commerce back while your 15 365 days previous daughter comes homestead pregnant, or turns right into a stripper. you're on your guy or woman.

Answer 10

You're probably the same person who complains the men today aren't real men because they father a baby but don't stick around to raise it. This father was obviously out with his daugther who had to go pee. He did what I would expect any father do to. My husband has had to do this before. He always checks to make sure noone is in there, then takes my daughter in. He checks to see if anyone is there before he exits the stall. The generation of the mother does everything is no longer here. Men help out, they don't just go to work, have dinner handed to them on a silver platter and sit on their butts while the wife takes care of the dishes.

Answer 11

As a mom I think that the 'SOB' was coping with his kid pretty darn well. Your kid needs to pee, you go where you need to go - and if you're a dad out with a young daughter, that probably means the men's room. Really peeved by it? Lobby your local shops/town for 'family' restrooms where ANY family can take their kids when they need to. It's a better option for all concerned. Oh, and by the way, GET OVER IT.