My sister is single, 34, works a dead-end job, lives with the father of her ex, gaining weight, drives an old car given to her by her ex, is very opinionated and yet cries her eyes out because she cannot find someone who wants to marry her. She goes for the preppy upscale kind of guys, but is unable to find another guy.
That's not the problem. She simply will not leave me alone with her criticisms. I am younger, stay in my own place, have 2 brand new cars, 2 degrees married, fit, and have a great job. Still, she won't lay off about an answering machine. I have told her repeatedly, nicely, that I don't want one. Finally, I let her have it and was very much to the point about her direction in life. Needless to say, this has caused a rift between us.
To make up, I have offered her my free funding for my master's and would help her make ends meet to go to school. What do you think she should do?
2007-01-10 07:13:43 · 7 answers · asked by Thegustaffa 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have also offered to take time off work and drive her anywhere in the city to find something she likes.
It seems like she thinks she's going to find the man of her dreams that wants to marry and take care of her, but I think that possibility is rapidly fading.
2007-01-10 07:16:56 · update #1
She needs to get a reality check. Men want their equal. What could she offer them? She needs counseling as another answer suggested it. She does sound depressed and you seem to be her only friend. Poor her.
Tell her to cut loose old ties. Get her own place, and get the education you offered her, and get a better job. Once she loves herself and is confident in herself she will find peace. She wont need to rely on a man, and then she can take her time choosing mr. Right!
If I were her, I would definatley take you up on the education offer! Wanna fund my education?? :P
2007-01-10 07:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mystie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I believe the answering maching was only a catalyst to something much deeper. We'll get to her in a minute, cause now I want to tell you to back off. Back off as gracefully as you can so that your sister can stand on her own two feet. Now she is 34, no longer a little girl playing with dolls. She's in the real world and the real world is tough, most likely tougher than she ever imagined.
Don't worry about the rift use it as time that you leave her alone so she can, on her own, get her act together.
That was very noble of you to offer her your free funding, yet she needs to get other parts of her life sorted out first. Like I said back off gracefully so she can.
2007-01-10 15:29:43 · answer #2 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a life,you are not responsible for her at 34 she is a grown woman capable of taking care of her own life,I know you are meaning well but to be honest leave her in her own mess and she will be forced to see what she is doing this may be hard but necessary tell her you have your life and family and cant take care of her,her critisisms arent welcome and you will tolerate them no longer,do not try to give her any handout as it will only be a deterrant for her if it does cause a rift you have no choice she is forcing the issue
2007-01-10 15:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of schooling pay for her to see a counselor to help her get out of her rut. She may be depressed. Believe me a man will only complicate her life, she needs to work on herself before she can take on a marriage. Get her some constructive help.
2007-01-10 15:20:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing good as on your part. She is really unsettled in her mind so "jealous" of you. Both of you sit down calmly & decide what to do next... make a good plan. A personal advice, dont invite her to live with you.
2007-01-10 15:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by hmmm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs to grow up and realize she's making poor choices leading to her life style being what it is....
2007-01-10 15:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you tried that's all you can do.
2007-01-10 15:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋