Heres the scoop. I want my big sister to be in my wedding as my MOH- and she has graciously agreed to be that person (not like i expected anything else though- she is an awesome sister). Problem is that my sister has cerebral palsy and cant stand up for long periods of time. She hasnt mentioned anything about it being a problem, but i know if i ask her to stand for that long it would hurt her.
Would it be a tacky thing to have the bridal party up there with us until after the first prayer is read and then have them sit until the service is over? I want her to be a part of it so bad, and i am not sure how to accomodate her, or to make it seem obvious that there is a problem if she has to sit before others. What is your opinion? I know she would never ask me for special accomodations- thats why i just want to have them in place beforehand.
2007-01-10 07:03:07 · 16 answers · asked by glorymomof3 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I dont think it is tacky for her to stand- not too many people knows she has CP. I just dont want her to feel embarrassed because i want to accomodate her.
She has never been one to use her disability as an excuse to not doing something. Like i said- i want her to be comfortable without making her feel bad because i chose to let everyone sit so she wasnt the only one.
she is a great big sister!
2007-01-10 07:13:39 · update #1
You sound like a great sister. You would be amazed at how many people don't care about anyone's feelings but their own when they are planning their wedding! I think its a great idea to have the whole group sit down at the same time. I'm sure your sister will appreciate it and won't feel singled out, no one will think its wierd - lots of 'traditions' are broken these days. 9 times out of 10, the bride and groom are the only ones who notice when things are a little off anyway.
Good luck to you and congratulations!
2007-01-10 07:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by JenJen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was maid of honor in a wedding where the junior maid of honor had downs syndrome, and their was a quadraplegic groomsman. They had him be the groomsman on the floor. for one thing, I would reccommend keeping the ceremony as short as possible. That was the thing that made it difficult on my fellow bridesmaid....she couldn't handle being still as long as was necessary and it would have made it a lot easier on her if the bride had cut a little back on the music, plus it would have allowed less time for the girl to be in pain and begin to cause distractions. This ceremony I am speaking of was 45 minutes long...and even my feet were hurting up there, so It will not kill you to cut back to 1 or 2 songs played during the ceremony instead of several like is popular among brides today. Why couldn't you have a nice chair right near where she will be on the stage? if you decorated the stage and the chair appropraialy, it wouldnt make a big difference as far as standing out, and i think people would understand. I think it would be no problem at all, and then she could still be on stage with you and she would only have to use it if needed. I don't think it would be really tacky to have your party come down early, but it would be pretty obvious to me as to what was up. Good luck with it....and congrats!
2007-01-10 07:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy, just have chairs provided for the entire bridal party, at the front.
During some parts of the ceremony, when it's most important, the bridal party can stand, and the rest of the time they can sit. All of them. Just make sure that your officiant knows, and knows to not single out your sister. (He can even add the lines, "you may be seated," a few extra times.) It may require a slightly longer rehearsal, and the mild stress of getting the perfect chairs. Be sure to talk to the venue, they'll have done a similar scenario before.
I've attended several weddings where the bridal party sat, or were even in wheelchairs. It's not a big deal, and can look completely natural.
2007-01-10 07:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jean Talon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Certainly sounds odd... I agree that the only thing that seems to fit is Junior Bridesmaid. Unless it's some sort of particular regional tradition that not many people are aware of... or they perhaps did something different with the Maid of Honor. Note to all brides out there: this is why programs listing the wedding party are a good idea!
2016-05-23 05:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your ceremony will be a long one, I would have all of the wedding party seated after the first prayer anyway. It gets really tiring even for an able bodied person, to have to stand the whole time, especially when you have to hold a bouquet. Your sister, being the maid-of-honor, will have the job of holding your bouquet, which will probably be a little heavy. I would just have the priest/reverend direct the wedding party to sit after the opening prayer.
2007-01-10 08:15:16 · answer #5 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I decided to try to research your topic but actually couldn't find anything online and I'm sure this has been something very frustrating for you.
But because you love your sister so much and it's obvious the two of you have a close relationship why not set the stage so that there would be a place for her to sit on the stage and be by your side?
Also talk to your sister and find out what she is comfortable with. Good luck! I'm sure you're day will turn out perfect
2007-01-10 07:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by L J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do whatever you want, it's your wedding. It's not tacky at all, to have your sister there. In my family my Dad, brother , sister all have muscular dystrophy and they were all in my wedding. I had to make special accomodations in my wedding, but I have never regretted it. People came up to me during the reception and told me how wonderful it was that they were all in the wedding. My Dad walked me down to aisle, we walked very slowly down the aisle and he had to lean on me, but he felt like he was able to fulfill his duty as a Dad, and I wouldn't have done it any other way. We had the bridesmaids and the grooms men walk down together, so they could help to balance the ones that needed a little help walking that distance down the aisle.
2007-01-10 07:18:33 · answer #7 · answered by mischa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In an attempt to keep her from being "singled out" just save the front church pew for the entire wedding party.
Then when you need them, they can all walk up together again.
One thing I would do is speak with the pastor of the church and see what he/she recommends and take that into consideration. Chances are that somebody else in the church has faced something similar.
2007-01-10 07:29:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went to one of my best friends wedding and she made the bridal party look like they were having an outside wedding.. they included park benches for allt he bridesmaids and groomsmen.. :D you can also have a chair up there for her. i don't think it will be tacky at all. you are having a special person in your wedding and you want to accomadate her in everyway you can. :D i wish you all the luck in the world and congrats. :d
2007-01-10 08:46:57 · answer #9 · answered by laurieprentice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen if anyone isn't mature enough to cut her some slack because of her condition they shouldn't be at the service.
simple as that.. the woman has a handicap.. a very debilitating one... if folks can't handle that.. they should not come.
it is not tacky for someone who is crippled to not stand.. come on now folks.. get real.
2007-01-10 07:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋