How can women be so rude about teenage pregnancy on here?

Question

I often see people be absolutely rude to young mothers. It's such a disgrace!

My question is to the women who feel young motherhood is always horrible. Why? Obviously the parents who have had children young on here are doing great. They all seem to have internet, a computer, a loving home, and so on. Why would a person discriminate against all young mothers when quite a few have done well for themselves? Is it just a lack to understand a person's situation or is it because people think they are better than others?

I'm all for honesty. I'll be the first person to tell a potential mother what is going to happen (expenses, responsibility, and life) after having a child no matter her age. It's the rude comments (not honesty) that gets to me. It's like people don't stop to think that even though this young woman had an unplanned pregnancy--she's still a person.

I'm talking about comments on a person's intelligence, maturity, or responsibility level just because she did one thing wrong.

No, I don't think having the internet makes you a good OR bad parent. I do think it shows a little bit of financial independence. It's also the only thing to prove someone is doing "okay" over the internet. There's no way to prove someone is a good/bad parent online because you do not know the parent.

I'm not judging other parents. I'm asking an honest question. I do think those parents (notice not all older parents) need a better understanding.

I’m also not saying lets all go out and get pregnant as teenagers. How is being kind to a young mother saying it’s a great thing to get pregnant young? It doesn’t. It’s just about being nice.

I'm not judging other parents. I'm asking an honest question. I do think those parents (notice not all older parents) need a better understanding.

I didn't think about that KitKat. You're right.

Disregard the whole internet comment. You are right, having internet doesn't even show financial independence.

My point is and was quite a few young parents do very well for themselves. Why discriminate and stereotype all young parents as being dependent on others to support their children, irresponsible, and bad parents?

I didn't think about that KitKat. You're right.

Disregard the whole internet comment. You are right, having internet doesn't even show financial independence.

My point is and was quite a few young parents do very well for themselves. Why discriminate and stereotype all young parents as being dependent on others to support their children, irresponsible, and bad parents?

Answer 1

Having a computer and the internet does not mean anyone is doing great. I see a whole lot of mothers on here asking about WIC and support from the government from their wonderful computers with internet connections.

The majority of teen mothers are not equipped to raise a child. They lack the education, maturity and money. They often rely on others.

Answer 2

Some of the answers you have here have really made me chuckle.. the statements" Best to wait til your financially stable or have a decent job" If everyone waited to have the perfect life to bring a child into the world.. the world would be an empty place! I believe that children are sent to us when they are meant to and sometimes all the stopping of a pregnancy in the world isn't going to stop it from happening.. if its meant to be it will be. I am 25 am pregnant with my 5th child 4 weeks to go!! I had my first when i was 16... we weren't careful and i got caught.. however it was best thing i ever did.. my boyfriend at the time stuck by me and we are now married and own a house and work so its all gone how its meant to but it wasn't like that to start with.. I had my 2nd at just 18 and then another at 19... then i had a gap and had one at 23 and i'll still be 25 when this next one arrives... there is a lot of stigma with teenage pregnancy's a lot of the older generation will give you dirty looks because they automatically assume that your a single parent claiming benefits have been handed a council house etc not relising trealisingally not all teens are like that the odd few are in a good relationship and have there own place and work instead of claiming.. I've had many people tar me with the same brush and im proud to say that all my children are with the same guy who is my husband. Don't get me wrong.. having a child is the most amazing experience any woman will go through, i have loved it and 5th time along i still can't quite get my head around the fact that a little person will come out of me all fully formed and perfect! It has been very hard work, having a child young was really difficult, i had no clue what i was doing its not like they hand you an instruction manual when they are born that say's the do's and dont's lol. If you believe you can give a child love and a stable family enviroment and all be well then go ahead and good luck.. Just be prepared for the looks from the older generation and the hard work that's involved!

Answer 3

I do not believe there is ever a reason to be rude to anyone. (That doesn't mean it wont ever happen...) As far as young mothers go, yes you right. Some young mother do very well, reguardless of their circumstances! My friend was 14 when she had her daughter. However, after having her daughter she aknowledged that she was young & naive & she began speaking at high schools about her experience & how it changed her life. How she didn't regret having her daughter, she loves her daughter very much, but had she known then what she knows now she would have waited.

I think that people on here are rude out of frustration (not that that is right) But why are there so many pregnant teens with no knowledge of the way their bodies work, or what responsibilites come with being a parent or an adult for that matter...who is supposed to teach them responsibilities and help them develop character? Who is denying them access to this knowledge? The truth is I have never met a teen who was physically, menatlly, emotionally ready or responsible enough to handle all that comes with motherhood. (I am aware there is always an exception to the rule, but most teens who would be capable chosse not to have children until they are ready!)

Personally I feel for the young mothers. I think being a mother & a good one at that has to be one of the most difficult jobs ever. Being a mother takes so much, and only the mothers that can find reward & pleasure in giving, & giving some more & giving when you think there is nothing left to give will be a great mother. I just don't believe that many teens or young woman are equiped these days with understanding of love & generousity. Nor do they understand respect or discipline. If they did thay would have waited until they were mature enough to handle sex, mature enough to speak to a Dr. or their parents for that matter. Many freinds of mine had children very young, I have seen the devastation & heartbreak that comes from unprepared-ness . That is just my opinion.

Answer 4

People should be more understanding and helpful. But sometimes when you read a question (only certain questions) that are so ridiculous and completely shows the immaturity of the mother, it tends to p*ss off people because they know the child of that mother is in for a rough time. No child deserves some of the obviously incompetent mothers that have. Sometimes you can just tell the mother is way too young and probably should have given the baby up for adoption rather than keep it like they would a puppy. But, you're right, it doesn't help matters to say horrible things to young mothers. It's always best to be kind to people. I was merely giving an example of what some people might be thinking when they are rude.

To Guesscookie88888 - your answer shows just how pathetically immature you are. Do you kiss your child with that potty mouth? Forums such as this are for people who can express an opinion (using normal words) without sinking to an all time low. Of course, had you stayed in school and graduated rather than drop out so you could start having your own potty mouthed cherubs, you could probably have the capability it takes to speak to another human being in a grown up way.

Answer 5

I think it's a little of everything. There's some jealousy that we had children at a young age and are happy about it. Maybe it's because some of these women have a hard time conceiving. Maybe it's because they have dead beat husbands. There's also the fact that they are unable to understand the situation. I've been told that it was a shame because I wouldn't have the chance to experiment. Experiment what? Sleeping with many guys, getting drunk and spending my mornings with my head over the toilet, etc. Wow, that seems like a great life *sarcasm*. Then there are others that do feel they are better. Why; because they waited until they were 30 to have children? Good for them. I think if someone is happy in their situation, that's the way it should be. These women don't realize that in the end, we are all the same. We are all mothers. We all love our children.




"Of these teenage mothers, how many leave the baby home with their own parents to go back to school, how many graduate, how many work full time jobs and pay a daycare facility? How many are on welfare or food stamps? If a teenage Mom can do it on her own without any help, she should be commended. Because there aren't too many of them out there"

I was finished with school when I gave birth. So, obviously, my daughter didn't stay with my parents while I was at school. I graduated with a 4.0 GPA and had a 3.8 GPA in college. I don't work right now. My husband and I both decided for me to take a couple weeks off to spend with our children. As far as daycare, my kids have never been to daycare so there was no need to pay for it. We've also never been on welfare, never recieved food stamps,or anything else like that.

Answer 6

There is no way a teenager can support financially or emotionally the same way an older parent can. What is so difficult about birth control when you are a teenager? That's what I did. I never got pregnant until I was married and ready to support someone other than myself.

Of these teenage mothers, how many leave the baby home with their own parents to go back to school, how many graduate, how many work full time jobs and pay a daycare facility? How many are on welfare or food stamps? If a teenage Mom can do it on her own without any help, she should be commended. Because there aren't too many of them out there.

Answer 7

I was a teenage mother myself. I had my first child 5 years ago. From my experience, I would encourage young women to wait before having a child. Yes, I now have my own place that's almost paid for, a computer with the i-net as you said. But the struggles I've had to go through to reach this level is something I wouldn't wish on anybody. I am currently working 2 jobs, 7 days a week just to make ends meet. I speak from experience when I look at teenagers who think it would be just grand to have a baby. But I also admire the teenage mothers who are stuggling to make a living for their child because I know it's not easy.

Answer 8

" You can't be for real. Because you have Internet access does not make you a fit (or bad) parent. Nor does it mean that you do or do not have a loving home. It only means that you have access to a computer, possibly have a library or cyber cafe. You are being just as judgmental as those you are critiquing. What gives you that right?"

completely agree with whoever said this

and keep in mind that i have no problem with young mothers (as long as they don't complain about it, as it's their own fault)


and to Guesscook
people like you are probably why people on here have bad things to say about young mothers
you're obviously extremely immature

not to say you're not the perfect mother, but you fit the stereotype of the bratty young girl who got knocked up, had the boyfriend leave her, and now she hates the world

again...not saying thats what you are...but when you say stupid immature things like that....you can't expect people to think you're a wonderful human being with everything going for her in life

Answer 9

Well I guess they are from the old school of hard knocks,they want young people to better there lifes and not be tied to children at such a young age.But honestly I think kids are the greatest gift anyone can have.At any age,nowadays a woman can have kids and still have a super life,I wouldnt give my kids up for the world.And I would help any mother raise her kids no matter what age they are.

Answer 10

I don't think we feel like we are better than them just more experienced in giving advice...I had my son when I was 19 and it was very hard and I wouldn't recommend it to anybody...and a lot of times the young mothers on here are 14,15,16...I can't imagine anybody at that age being able to take care of a child on their own that's all...it's not to put them down it's just to make them aware of what having a baby entails..