My mom is very set in what she wants to do. Only problem it's MY wedding. Now that were around about 9 weeks away from the event we have an added problem. The seating at the wedding/reception.
I'm having the reception & wedding all in one room, people are going to sit 6 to a table, even during the wedding. That's about the only decision my mom has liked actually. My husband & I will have a "sweetheart" table for just the two of us, our parents will each have the two front tables for 6. Problem is, my mother is throwing a hissy fit, wanting her own 2 person table for her & my dad. The groom's family are fine with a table of 6, considering he has a sister & such that also want to sit up front. My mother is saying if she doesn't get her own 2 person table she'll just "sit all the way in the back" due to not wanting to sit with some family members.
What's the best thing here? Give in & give them a 2 person table so they don't have to sit with other family? Or stay strong?
2007-01-10 06:38:25 · 22 answers · asked by layla983 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh, & this isn't the first tiff, just the only one I can't seem to ignore. :)
2007-01-10 06:45:27 · update #1
Hi, I am sorry about your dillemma. It is inconsiderate of your mother to want a "table for two", as you and your fiance are the ones who are getting married. Perhaps you could be attentive to her demands but explain why you are only providing the table for six. Etiquette wise, you could explain to her that it is "bad manners" to want to segregate herself and your dad away from the future in-laws. After all, you are all suppose to exist within a "happy family" and forge good relationships all around.
Secondly, point to her that the in-laws are most agreeable with the sitting arrangement. Perhaps she will then wake up to the fact that she is much too demanding. It is not just your wedding but realisically, you are trying to start out with every family member getting along and taking this opportunity (your wedding day) to know each other better.
2007-01-10 08:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by Mei Lin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
remember it is your wedding!!! My mother was a pain when I was planning my wedding too. You just have to stay strong. Try sitting relatives she gets along with at her table. If she doesn't like it too bad. I'm sure (I hope) she's not the type to cause a scene. Look my mom threatend to move her seat if I sat her with my father's family. I never had any intention of doing that as that table was for immediate family, but just to get back at her I had my father's family sit right next to her table....lol. But you know what, everyone will be having way too much fun and just caught in the moment to even worry about it.
2007-01-10 06:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No stay strong it is YOUR wedding not hers.
tell her how it is gonna be and if she throws a hissy fit let her.
Just tell her it is important for her to be there for your day and share it with you .But if she wants a two person table way in the back then that is ok but the table in the front is for six people her your dad and whoever else that will be sitting there.
I would put more than just two at a table for six but no i would not give her a two person table in the front it would be off balance and look weird plus you and your hubby to be should be center of attention.
stay strong and have fun .If necessary ignore her.
2007-01-10 06:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by southernbell_1313 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. If they have a table for two, it's going to look out of place with all of the other 6-person tables. She needs to realize that it isn't her day, it's YOURS.
To smooth things over, though, you could maybe give her the reins on something that you don't have strong feelings about (the table decorations, or floral arrangements, or something). If she gets to be in charge of something, it'll help make her feel like she's a big part of the wedding prep and she might ease up a bit on the tables problem.
2007-01-10 06:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by Bridget 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in the spirit of trying to avoid additional confrontation, I would make her an offer...She & your dad can have their own sweetheart table (even though this is SUPPOSED to be for the bride & groom only), as long as the parents of the groom can have the same thing. If she doesn't like her options, then let her show everyone there what a big baby she's being, by sitting in the back of the room.
You might also remind her that she's theoretically the hostess of this party, and it's her job to get along and be hospitable with EVERYONE at the party, family or not.
2007-01-10 07:35:26 · answer #5 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just let her have her own 2 person table.. she will be the one looking foolish when all the guests ask why she and your dad are there all on their own. Things always backfire in the long run.. When other guests are having a good time, laughing and chatting she will be all alone.. What a fool, to want to carry on so, on her daughter's wedding because she can't be mature enough to talk to members of her own family. This is a no-class lady... Like I always say, some people never grow up, unfortunately, some kids are stuck with some of these folks for parents.. Good Luck dear, and may you have a Blessed Wedding and lots of future Happiness..
2007-01-10 07:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, she can't have her own 2-person table. If she doesn't want to sit at the table of six because of some certain family members that would be sitting there, then move them to different tables.
Or, have the groom's immediate family and your immediate family sit at one big table.
Or, be sneaky. Tell your mother she's getting her own table. But give different instructions to the reception hall. I doubt your mother will throw a hissy fit in front of everyone when she sees that she doesn't have her own table. But I'd be honest with her, and tell her no, it's stupid of her to have her own table. She isn't the one getting married.
2007-01-10 07:01:34 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had to deal with sort or situation with my own wedding. Only difference is that it was with my mother in law. You have to find a way to say that this is YOUR wedding. Let her know how much you value her opinion and suggestions, but ultimately, this is YOUR day that you will remember and explain to your children and grandchildren.
As far as her "hissy fit" explain to her that as your mother, she needs to be there for YOU! She needs to put her differences aside and sit up front by you. Not wanting to sit near other family member is not an acceptable excuse! Explain to her that you want her by you because she needs to display her pride in the fact that her baby girl is started a new chapter of her life. Also, because you want her near you, not at the back of the room.
2007-01-10 06:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by moon_gurl_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like maybe she's wishing it were her wedding all over again. Let her know that she can pick which family members or friends to sit at the table with her and your father, but she will be sitting at a table of six. It's your wedding day, not hers. She will get over it.
2007-01-10 06:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by orangeflameninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its your wedding and you are paying for it it is you decision, . As for her saying she doesn't want to sit with some family members. that is her problem , not yours and tell her if she can not sit with some one at the same table for 1/12 hours tops she is a very sad person, and perhaps should sit at a table that is acceptable to her but the only 2 person table is you and your new husband and that is that
2007-01-10 06:59:52 · answer #10 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋