I am an honors student, I'm in college, I am a hard worker and I could go on and on. All I want is a stable relationship. I have had my life mapped out since I was in the third grade and everything is going according to plan. All my stuff is in order, so what does it mean when my boyfriend tells me that I am "too structured?"
2007-01-10 06:32:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Interesting question.
People who have a busy, goal oriented life live by a planner because when you don't you drop stuff out and let people down. Not only that, I plan my down-time so that I'm doing things I WANT to do when I have free time. I hate wasted good time!
People who do not have as purposeful a life as you are not going to understand how this life of yours brings you freedom to be who you are! I have lost a relationship because of it. But, if I'd have really been worth it to the guy, he would have just planned to be with me in my free time!!!, which I had enough of. He just had a fit and fell in it because I did not wait until the last minute to have a life. So, it all was for the best.
Talk to your man, and let him know clearly when your downtime is, and have him plan to be with you at those times - which you can either plan your fun or play by ear. If your relationship is a real heartfelt priority for him, and he truly understands your value, that you are not replaceable in his heart and life, then this should handle it. If not, then let go and find someone with as great a life as yours.
He should be able to count on you to be with him when you say you will, barring real emergencies.
2007-01-10 06:45:05 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The danger of being too structured is the possibility of it not working out according to plan. No one can guarantee what is going to happen in their lives, because we never have completely control over everything. If you map out and plan everything, prepare to be disappointed at some point. Sometimes you just have to let things fall into place.
Being too structured can also just be too stressful...who wants to live according to a schedule all the time?
Your boyfriend probably just wants you to relax a little.
2007-01-10 14:37:58 · answer #2 · answered by comforted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could go on a diatribe about this, but there is no reason too.......
He is telling you to loosen up. Try to relax, focus more on him than whatever responsibilities you have going on at the moment.
Have a silly conversation, laugh a little bit and be a little spontaneous.
It is definetly possible to have too much structure in ones life. Want a good example?
Go watch a few episodes of the Odd Couple.
2007-01-10 14:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by aural_exstacy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when some makes a comment like that..."too structured" is that they believe that you are not flexible. One person doesn't plan anything, they are very carefree, more of a free spirit. Other people have to plan everything out, have a plan and follow it. Still other people make many plans and never finish any of them.
2007-01-10 14:42:20 · answer #4 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could mean that you are too structured for him - or does he think you are too structured for your own good?
Maybe he needs a more relaxed GF.
I wouldn't critisise my partner for being too organsised.
When you say "all my stuff is in order", how far with organisation have you actually gone.
I think you can go too far with structure, as It's nice to just be "off the cuff" say, "Shall we just forget that plan, and go to the cinema now instead?" for example.
2007-01-10 14:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by reply 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too structured is checking your to-do list and saying no to the movie and dinner because you did not pencil it in.
Even the tallest of skyscrapers were build with sway, to prevent them from collapsing.
2007-01-10 14:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Floss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too structured... I'd ask him yourself. Ask him what it is you're doing that's bothering him. Only he knows, and me think the only answer you're really going to care about is his <3
2007-01-10 14:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means you need a different boyfriend. he probably dont know what he wants in life and is jealous that you are right on track. find someone who has the same goals of achievement that you do.you will go far. when you get older you will be glad you did it when you were young. trust me Im glad I did it when I was young.
2007-01-10 14:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by CSWS♥ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That you are rigidly and decidedly a control freak and basically are no fun, not spontaneous and if there is not a firm plan in place you are not happy. But you are working towards something and there could be worse things. you are who you are, and it seems to be working well for you.
2007-01-10 14:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How do you live life like that..Dont you want some things to just come to you without having to know in advance?? That seems boring. I feel bad for you.
2007-01-10 14:41:33 · answer #10 · answered by Fashionista 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋