What do I tell my girlfriend about my interest in men?

Question

I had a interest in men I though. I was chatting on the internet and stuff with men. Really got into it for about 4 or 5 months. Probibly stemming from a prodominantly gay fetish. But I just got back from my first 'date' I guess you would say with a man and realized I was totally wierded out and had no sexual desire to have sex with men at all. He was touching me and stuff and all I wanted to do was jump out of the car. He wants to meet with me on Friday to have sex with me like we planned on the internet but I feel more straight than I ever have. First off what do I do about telling the guy without hurting his feelings? Plus I like the guy in all but not in a sexual way. Second how do I tell my girlfriend that I had an actual date with a man?I felt nothing with him and really felt sketched out and creeped out when he touched me and stuff.I didn't do anything sexually with him but went along like touch his leg and stuff to not make it akward for him. I felt akward tho. lol. Im too nice

Answer 1

do not tell your girlfriend...this is about something that you needed to discover on your own and you didn't do anything that would be considered cheating.

now as for the guy, i would tell him via email or telephone and try not see him in person again. explain that you were trying to address some questions about your sexuality but you feel that you have already discovered the answers without having to be physical. i would keep it as vague as possible.

now, if he flips out be prepared for that backlash...if it gets to the point where he could tell your girlfriend...that is when you will have to tell her. just feel out the situation and be careful, but if there is a chance that your girl could find out then it would be much better to hear from you rather than some guy that you went out with.

Answer 2

Cheating on your girlfriend is not a very kind or wise thing to do. (And, yes, going on a date with someone--even if you didn't end up having sex, and even if it was with a man--is cheating.) You need to *seriously* rethink how dedicated you are to this girl and decide what to do from there. If you want an open relationship, tell her. She may leave you, but that's better than being a liar and keeping secrets from her.

If she's game, you may want to wait before telling her that you're curious about men, as she may perceive it as a threat. When my last boyfriend told me that he found some men attractive, I was scared to death that he was secretly gay and would leave me. Just be gentle with the subject and reassure her that you're still attracted to her.

(By the way, just because you weren't attracted to this particular man doesn't mean you're not attracted to men at all. Perhaps he didn't have the right qualities or maybe you were just too nervous.)

Answer 3

First of all, I guess you know that you should not have went out with him. You can tell over the internet because that's how you two met. I sure hope you did not give him any personal details like your last name. Because those guys can make your life miserable. They don't like being played no more than women do. Since nothing happen, I don't see the need to discuss it with your girlfriend. Now if he starts making life difficult for your and your girl, then you might need to tell. But I wouldn't.

Answer 4

don't tell her anything unless you want to see her backside as she walks out of your life for good.

Telling the guy you aren't interested in an email or online chat might work. But if he is offended, you might find yourself being stripped and gang banged by some of his gay friends.

Gays don't usually like rejection of this type they sometimes band together to get even with the straight guys that mess with them.

I'd watch my back for awhile if i were you. I have had 2 clients who did exactly what you did and they were hogtied and raped by a group of gay men and a girlfriend and a wife were forced to watch.

Answer 5

I think I wouldn't tell your girlfriend about something that didn't happen without it hurting her and causing her to loose her trust in you. If this was something you had to seek out to learn how you stood with men, I say hurrah to you for being open minded enough to at least look into it. However, since it is something your not interested in, i'd be honest with the guy, leave your girlfriend out of it and learn from this experience.

Answer 6

Tell him straight out that you have no sexual interest in him.
Tell him you were momentarily confused but you have figured yourself out and you are just not into guys.
As for the girlfriend just tell her too.And ask for her forgiveness for not coming to her sooner but you were afraid and confused.
Hopefully you can rebuild your relationship.But it is better to tell her before she finds out on her own and believe me she will find out.
Sooner or later it always comes out.

Answer 7

tell the guy ur not interest in sex but as friends ok..be honest with ur girlfriend.tell u had to find out for sure if u were gay straight,or both.

Answer 8

Be honest with yourself. If you are looking for a future with your girl-friend it is not fair to her to base your relationship on a lie. You will eventually regret not confronting your true sexuality weather you are homo, hetero, or bi.