My boyfriend and I are from different cultures, I am American and he is Albanian. We have been together for 4 years and we love each other, but I am not sure that love is enough when it involves other cultures, his is to marry an albanian girl. I told him I would stay with him, move to Europe, and everything, but maybe the cultural issues are bigger than us. And now that it has been so long I really want to have at least something planned for the future, he can't decide what he wants to do. He is not sure if he wants to live here, or move back to Europe. He says he wants to marry me sometimes, then other times he says that it will never happen because of the cultural issues. How do I know if he wants to marry me or not, and how can I make up his mind sooner, so I don't end up getting more hurt.
2007-01-10 06:18:37 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
tell him you're pregnant
2007-01-10 06:21:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jonny 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well what you don't want to do is pressure him that will only push him away. Let him take his time and figure out what it is he has to do. You went into the relationship with your eyes open sweet pea so you knew somewhere along the line this was going to become an issue. Just stay in it for the long haul if you really love him. But try to be ready for him to leave you for his culture. Good luck!
2007-01-10 06:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since it has been 4 yrs, and he is still "sometimes" wanting to marry you, & has a culture conflict he can't get over, I would say, that your chances on Making him change his mind, is NOT gonna happen......Sorry !! But it won't!!!!! You can not MAKE anyone do anything they don't want to do!! Especially getting married!!! Here's my advice.... tell him your not going to play this little game anymore, And cultures have nothing to do with being truly deeply in love with anyone, and start dating again!!! You've wasted enough time and energy on this guy.
2007-01-10 06:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by lolie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously can't make up his mind for him, but there is no sense staying in a realtionship where there is no future. My advise would be to cut the ties now, and move on. If he makes a decision at a later date and you are available and still in love with him, then it was meant to be. If not, then at least you didn't tie up more of your time.
2007-01-10 06:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by Growl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look your boyfriend has a culture complex. I Know because I´ve met tens of men who are like this . I am a man and I´m an a American who lives in Europe. Give him a deadline. Secondly if you´re sleeping with him stop it. Thirdly, If you and he do decide to get married;with you fully aware of his unbalanced state of mind, you will definitely get a divorce shortly thereafter. My advice is for you to break the relationship off.
2007-01-10 06:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by RJ2K1 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he is so wishy washy, I would just leave him. Yeah you are in love, but you have to really consider the whole situation. Will his parents like you, can you adjust to his culture, because I can tell you , that he won't adjust to you...It would be easier in the long run, if you just ended things on a friendly note, and let him go on his way.
2007-01-10 06:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by Bevin M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you really sure that you will be able to deal with the cultural differences? Show him that you are really willing to work at that by maybe taking a class to learn his native language. It sounds like the ball is already in his court.
Sounds like he is attached to you but he is not ready to commit.
2007-01-10 06:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by marienb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please ask boy friend did he culturally fell in love with you before 4 years? According to me there is no proper understanding between you both due to excess of work perhaps in this instant matter.
2007-01-10 06:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by vjkiran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently he doesn't want to marry you.
My clue was when he indicated that he wants to marry an Albanian girl, and you're not one.
2007-01-10 06:22:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your situation is really complicated,it sounds like you two might need to see a couples counsler, i know it sounds dumb, but it really helped me and my boyfriend with a large problem such as yours. you can never make up his mind for him, and dont try too, if you do it might end up in his unhappyness as well as worsin yours.have you rtyed just being up right and completly honest, dont hold anything back...i hope it workes you for you both.
2007-01-10 06:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could he make up your mind if it were the other way around? He`s a man what would make up his mind?Think for about to seconds.
2007-01-10 06:24:54 · answer #11 · answered by Step 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋