My 9 year old daughter has been invited to a sleep over at her classmates house. Should I let her go ? I know her and her mother in passing (casual talking at birthday parties) but that's it. I know nothing about her father who will be home during the party. Maybe if I let her go, I should call and check on her ? This sleepover thing is new to me and as she ages I am certain there will be more. I am just looking for opinions.
2007-01-10 06:16:09 · 14 answers · asked by misfit 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Call me overprotective but... you barely know the mother and you know nothing of the father. Why would you allow your daughter to sleep over at someone's house where you don't know the parents?
Your daughter may not like it, but if I were in your position, I'd have to say no until you got to know the parents. Granted, we recently had a man arrested here whom several of us knew and he was charged with molesting his 10-year-old daughter so I may be being overly sensitive but it's my job to protect my kids.
2007-01-10 06:25:18 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My duaghter has had sleepovers since 2 years old (started early because I worked shift work). She is now 7 and has been to tons. I suprised you were able to hold off this long.... Anyway, it is appropriate to call to say goodnight to her and at that time you can also talk to the mother... I am kinda paraniod.. and so I need to meet all the people that live in that house... especially the males (not to trusting there, lol). I meet them, like to be in their house (I go alot in life by how I feel and inutition). If I don't get a bad feeling... which I usually don't... and I have met everyone, including teenagers... I will let her go.
The other day my daughter was asked for a playdate that would last all day. I really like the mom and one of the sister, but had not yet seen their house or met the father. I simply said, 'I have not yet met your husband and I am kinda protective. It is not you, I am like this with everyone'. They were great. I dropped my daughter off for 4 hours, met the dad.. and then when my kid came home I got to ask about how welll they were watched, what the dad said to her etc... Anyway, next time she is all set for a sleepover. Some parents I get a bad feeling with and I keep it down to play dates only... remember, if your kid has someone over for a sleepover, it is expected that you will let your kid go next time.
I knew a family last year that let a 12 year old daughter go to one. They had a bad feeling but didn't feel they could say no. They let her go and this ladies boyfreind showed up and made a scene. All the parents from that slumber party picked there kids up from the police station...
The thing is though.. you will never feel comfortable letting your child go to someones house you hardly know.. that is life... sometimes you have to trust your kids... it is hard... it would be easier to say no, not till your 30, lol
2007-01-10 06:45:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat 2 months ago with my 9 year old daughter. I knew of the mother from holiday parties from school and that was it. So I did a play date w/her parents at the park, then invited her to stay at our house. The next weekend she went over there. I stayed for about an hour, and left her w/my cell phone. She called me 15 times. But that was ok, it made me feel better. The parents were understanding, I explained to them that she had never spent the night away and they were more than happy to get to know me so our girls could have their sleep over.
2007-01-10 06:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the friends house and speak to the mother. Make sure parents will be home the whole time. If so, let her go 9 years old is old enough for a sleep over. You can call if you want, but I would wait until she's been gone for a couple of hours and just call maybe once to see how things are going.
2007-01-10 06:54:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I wasn't sure about my daughter sleeping over for a party, I would tell her she could go, but I would pick her up later that evening. That way she could still go to the party, but you would have peace of mind that she is at home sleeping where you know she will be safe until you know more about the friend and her family. Don't worry about offending anyone, your daughter's safety is the most important thing. I made it known to my kid's, unless I know the friend or family well, this would be the rule, so if any other party comes up in the future, the kids already know where you stand.
2007-01-10 06:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by ycantibhappy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I allow my 7 and 8 year old to go to sleep overs. I always invite the child over first fish for information then meet the parents then check out how the house is taken care of ya know what kind of people they are are they clean, dirty, or what. If they are dirty I act like I got a phone call and tell them it is emergency and leave or I let them stay
Good Luck
2007-01-10 06:44:47 · answer #6 · answered by Blue Eyes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, a 9 365 days previous should not be sleeping in her father's mattress. before everything, she's extra then sufficiently previous to sleep in her very own mattress each evening (even 2 365 days olds are in a position to try this). Secondly she's on the age the place she's on the verge of puberty, and girls that age extra then something elect their very own privateness. Sorry yet I would desire to remark in this video taping undertaking you stated. i hit upon it very creepy that this guy is videotaping his daughter at the same time as she's asleep in HIS mattress, this is borderline pedophilish. Does this guy have a spouse? if so the place is she at while the daughter is in his mattress? Agreed, there is something definetly not authentic approximately this finished concern in any respect, it reaks of skill sexual abuse.
2016-10-30 13:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by wolter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughters have been to dozens of sleepovers before their 9th birthday. Let her go. Call the mom if you want and explain that you are nervous about this being a first time. You will NEVER know all your daughters classmates parents very well. You need to let go.
2007-01-10 06:43:32 · answer #8 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should ABSOLUTLY let her go! If you are uncomfortable with her being around a man you have never met then ask to meet him. Thats what I do for all of my daughter's sleep overs.. I also insist that parents meet my husband and I both before allowing their child to stay the night.. It just helps for some reason.
2007-01-10 07:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by onfire921 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know anyone else who knows the family well, if so then ask them what they think of the family & what the
family is like. If not then try to have a play date & invite the child to your house BEFORE the sleepover , see what they child behaves like & that should give you an idea of how the family is , good luck
2007-01-10 06:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋