should I consider dropping child support if the father promises to do better?

Question

I currently put daughters father on child support at his request. His whole thing was that I wasnt going to get but about 50 dollars a month. Well he has to pay me 272.00 a month which is not a whole lot money but he is already like 3000.00 in back child support. Well he is on disability and now they are talking about taking the 272 out of his payments. We are trying to work it out for my daughter's sake but I am thinking to wait to see how he does for the fear if I dropped it now I want be ablt to file again or can I. This guy had his mother to call and ask me to drop the support because her son only gets 498 a month and the 272 will be coming from that. I kind of feel sorry but then I have my daughter to think about. What should I do.

By the way this is a 30 year old man. His mama also said she would write a letter that her son would give the baby something every month.

Answer 1

your daughter comes first ...it is not your fault he is on disability...you need money to raise your child...good luck...

Answer 2

Do not drop the child support! My parents divorced when I was 14 and my mom had to fight to get her child support. My Dad is a great guybut he doesn't feel the need to pay it when he doesn't have us. Also, if they are still talking out $272 a month, then it can be readjusted to fit his new income because child support is a percentage of your income. Do not give in to pressure from his mother, you have DEPENDENT children that you need to take care of and should not be worrying about her 30-year-old GROWN son.

Answer 3

Then your daughter....No no no.

Daughter first. Sorry the law is here to help you sister.
If dude has however many kids the $ is split.
Fair.

I am in the same situation. I love my daughter.
And who knows when our men are going to act like men. Step up to the plate fellas and be a dad!
When you go to court ask your questions or ask a lawyer about the law. Calling a public defenders office or some college kids can look the info up for you. In my city there is a phone number to get free law advice.
So stay strong. You seem to have managed this far without him.

Answer 4

First of all, they won't take more than half of his income....it's just not done. They will order an amount that he should be able to handle and will garnish it from his disablility check along with a little extra to cover his back support. Just know that it will not be the 272.00 and you will need to work to support your family. My ex was on disability and he paid 57.00 and 12.00 toward the back support which was dropped to zero after six months, so I never did get much of the back support money(6 months times 12.00 dollars)About the mother calling..........be a man and speak for yourself!

Answer 5

All of these people are right, your daughter comes first. everyone has their problems, but you MUST take care of what you are responsible for first.

i am an advocate (for children, seniors, the disabled) and i will tell you that while on disability, he is entitled to rental assistance, heat assistance, perscriptions paid for, all medicals- hospitalization- testing paid, food stamps, free transportation, free therapy, and so (SO) much more. he will not be able to live large, but nor will you and your baby.

bottom line, its hard on both sides…but your baby MUST come first.

having his mother call you, is a low blow in my opinion, and manipulation. if you say no to her, your the bad guy. next time she calls, simply say, 'your grand child comes before ALL of us, period'.

just collect the support, without making yourself feel terrible. (that was the intention of the phone call from his mommy, to make you feel guilty). This may take some time, but you will reach a place where you accept what you have to do on her behalf.

Remember, YOU are your childs only advocate. Do you see anyone else standing up for her? No. that speaks volumes to me.

I cant say it enough; that your baby girl comes before ALL of you and anyone when it comes to her needs.

Here are some links to help you. just click on your state, and find what ever section you have a question on. the last few are to help you through what ever comes your way.

stay strong and stand your ground; you baby depends on it.
mother of 4


http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html
http://www.divorcehq.com/deadbeat.html
http://www.lawchek.com/Library1/_books/domestic/qanda/childsupp.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html

http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.singlemoms.org/info/main.htm
http://www.singlemotherresources.com/
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/njcomputerchick
http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/chapterfind.asp
http://www.mowaa.org/
http://modestneeds.org/
http://freecycle.org/
http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf
http://www.redcross.org/where/chapts.asp

Answer 6

Not in any way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was raised by just my mother & my dad never paid a penny & many times we didn't have anything in the house to eat - sometimes starving, or eat a raw potato for the day. I survived my childhood, but I would NEVER go easy on him for fear you won't get anything. Don't feel sorry for him either. Think of your daughters & what they deserve! Sounds like he's getting support for himself by his mother, you need support too, just as much if not more than him!
I hope you can get the support you are due. Too many kids grow up with no support & have physical problems later on because they weren't able to get enough to eat & clothes to wear, let alone toys to play with.

Answer 7

a man will make many promises just to get off.and they will still be sorry.thats his fault thinking u were only going get $50.and 272 a month is nothing.u have to buy shampoo,food ,gas to take her to appts,rent or mortgage to keep a roof over head,pay electricity,water,maybe garbage.then dont forget clothes and other little things she needs.u are paying alot more than 272. he needs to be thankful thats all he has to pay. and for havinhg his mom call-what kind of a man is he? good luck

Answer 8

DONT DROP IT!! Why should your daughter have to suffer for her father's sake??? Even if you could refile, dont!! He needs to step up to the financial aspect of fatherhood. If hes already $3000 in the hole you would just be helping him dig deeper if you let him off the hook now! Your daughter needs that money...its the LEAST he can do as her father!!!

Answer 9

don't drop the child support!!! if the payments are too high he needs to go to court and get the payments reduced. he needs to get a job! LoL his mom called you ?? how old is he? your child's needs are more important than his. plus if his mom is so concerned why doesn't she help her son out?

Answer 10

i don't think you should fully take the child support away from him. i mean it is for your daughters sake. i don't see why deducting a couple dollars could do harm? just as long as it's not too much! think about college!