When my husband left my 3yr old son & I last month we got ourselves a puppy to cheer is both up. We live by a large wooded area & like to walk her a lot after nursery (& work in my case). The trouble is that when my son needs the toilet, Its pretty urgent, causing him to have several accidents. He now refuses to walk the dog with me which upsets us both. I have tried getting him to go before we leave the house, but he is still scared of wetting himself.
I read a similar q. to this, so I am hoping for some tips & advice please.
Thank you so much
2007-01-10 05:47:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I have no male friend to ask
2007-01-10 05:48:17 · update #1
Why don't you go ahead and put him in a pull-up for the walks so he can relax and enjoy the walk?
2007-01-10 05:52:34 · answer #1 · answered by leaptad 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear about what happened to you and your son. I hope things get better for you guys. Try talking to your son and telling him that it is okay and it isn't his fault. At his age he has a very small bladder compared to ours and it is hard for him to hold it for long. I was the same way when I was his age and until I was about 12 years old. Just try to keep reassuring him that it is okay. If you care able to make him use the toilet right before you leave which you mentioned that you are doing and just start going for short walks that are maybe about 2 or 3 minutes or so. If you ask him if he wants to go for a walk he will probably say no. I know that this might sound mean but don't ask him just get the puppy, him, your coats and just leave. Also if this is possible you can have him go behind a tree when he needs to use the toilet. You might have to help him a little bit if he hasn't got the idea of urinating standing yet. You could also take a container or something when he has to go he can go into that and when you get home you can empty it in the toilet. If he has his own potty or a portable potty then you can take that with you and have him use that. Also, has he been afraid of wetting himself just recently since your husband left? This could be a result of him leaving you. When I was out walking with my little brother things like this happened to him and I always brought something that he could urinate in along the way if he needed to. That would help a lot. It might take a will to build your son's confidence back up again but just try to remind him as often as you can that it is okay. Positive reinforcement will help him also. I hope that I was as of help to you. I wish the both of you the best and Good Luck.
2007-01-10 12:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by Andy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress can affect kids in different ways and although the problem has started after your husband left often kids dont understand that things are permanent. Perhaps he thought his father was coming back. Your little boy needs lots of love and reassurance (which i am sure youre giving him) He could be worried you will leave him too and he thinks having accidents will make you angry? Or maybe he has picked up on you scalding the puppy for having accidents? Why not start off small and build his confidence? Walk to the end of the road and back then increase the length of the walk as he regains his confidence. Lots of praise to make him feel good about himself again. Have you had him checked to make sure he doesnt have a urine infection? This can make it difficult to hold your wee in. Ask at his nursery too and see if there has been an incident that may have upset him. Books are useful so maybe go down to the library and find some childrens books that explain about a parent leaving, this can also give him an opportunity to bring up his worries with you (that he may not even realise he has) Good luck x
2007-01-10 06:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by British*Bird 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might sound a little odd, but you can't tell what's going on in a childs' mind.
Is is possible that he thinks his dad may come back (and so wants to be near the house in case he misses him if he comes back? Going to nursery would be different because that was part of his pattern before his dad left.
Also he may now associate the dogs arriving with his dads departure ('we wouldn't have got a dog if dad had stayed' type of thing) so maybe subconciously doesn't like the dog - but wants to go with you because he loves you, so gets confused.
I don't know what your routine with his dad is, but it will be very important to your son that he knows you both love him (and any grandparents etc. love him) just as much as you did before (you can't tell him this enough).
Also that your both splitting up was nothing to do with him, it must never be his fault in any way.
So a real routine of him seeing his dad would really help, so he knows that he is there for him and when to expect to see him. Its really hard and I feel for you, but try and stay upbeat and happy for his happiness, if he sees you sad it will upset him more. I hope that his dad wants to be with him, if not try and keep him busy with lots of friends and family so he gets a balance of influence. I wish you very good luck
2007-01-11 01:12:53 · answer #4 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe put him back into a training pant for these walks it might take the anxiety level down a notch or two for both of you. If its any consolation this is very common (slight regression after an anxious event) the cold weather doesn't help with little boys either, my son is great in the Spring and Summer but has lots of accidents in the winter (says it too cold)
2007-01-10 20:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by Nobody200 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-06-02 05:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by abbas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try short walks for just a few minutes to build up his confidence and gradually extend the length of the walk. Try not to make a big deal out of it because that will make his anxieties worse. Also get him to do it soon because the longer you leave it the worse it will get. Simply tell him you are both going for a little walk. Don't ask him, get coats on and go. He needs his confidence built up before this is a serious problem
2007-01-10 06:02:01 · answer #7 · answered by clairelou_lane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-13 14:19:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would pullups help him feel safer in case he had an accident? Or, I know not many people talk about it, but you could just let him tinkle on the side of the road. Honest, a lot of parents let their kids do it. When you gotta go you gotta go! When we went on a road trip and my sister and I were 3 and 4, she had problems holding it too. When she had to go we just pulled over and she went on the side of the road.
2007-01-10 05:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by dolly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you live near wooded area walk the dog hes a little boy let him wee by a tree or in gutter he will start to love his walks with you again in no time
2007-01-10 05:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Tonk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will he not just go by a tree?
Hold him almost horizontal if need be!
Show him a pocketful of sweeties, for him
and a pocketful of treats, for the puppy
Tell him that the little puppy would love to play on his walk, with your son.
Good luck, and don't worry, it will pass!
2007-01-10 05:53:24 · answer #11 · answered by Coley 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋