We're planning on moving together, but to MI. He lives there right now, I live in cali.
We've been together for 2 years, and all. I love him I do, and he says he loves me. But you know its hard to believe since its a long distance relationship, and words are just so hard for me to believe if their arent actions behind them.
A part of me wants to move with him, and the other part doesnt want to. Cause I feel like my life is already planned for me. If I do move, were moving to Michigan, and I'm going to be alone. No friends, no family no nothing, but him.
He's not the same person who uset to be when I first fell in lovwe with him. And right now we're not exactly together, cause he said he doesn't want the drama of a relationshop, and he just wants to party and whatnot. He's best friend with the girl he lost his virginity too, and that bothers me so much.
I dont know what to do. Either to stay and work it out and keep my head up, or to let go.
2007-01-10 05:45:52 · 27 answers · asked by Peni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you rate other priorities more than your love. I dont think you love him.
2007-01-10 05:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by V 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, What is it that you really want and is it worth it. You say you love your boyfriend , but if you move then you will have no friends and no family to talk to, do you ever plan to marry this guy or will you decide on another guy for the future. When you engage in a relationship with someone and over time when you know everything there is to know there will be some changes and of course nothing will ever be the same, it just happens that way, unless you figure out how to make it better and different for the sake of your boyfriend and the relationship. If you love your boyfriend you will stay and work things as it seems you can , or make the decision to opt out and let him know you can't take it anymore. If it really bothers you that your boyfriend lost his virginity to his friend then tell him you are upset about that and tell him why, if you decide to leave the relationship then let him know you are and why, find out how he feels and so you know what you can expect. It is up to you to ask the questions and get feedback so you know what you can do next. He will appreciate your honesty and what you have to say if you tell him which is the way you will know anything,especially what he has to say.
2007-01-10 13:59:59 · answer #2 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I know what your feeling. Words are hard to believe its the actions that speak loud. If he doesnt want the drama of a relationship and just wants to party then find a guy who will want a relationship. I moved from Texas to are you ready for this North Dafuckinota for a guy. Can you believe that?!?! I left behind a career {of almost 13yrs} I had established myself in right after gradschool and EVERYONE I knew. Moved to ND because of LOVE and I have never felt so damn alone. He however is the same person I fell in love with and my ONLY adult conversations are with him and the one couple I know. If I could go back and change things I'd not have come to be honest with you I gave up everything for him and although I love him and the life we have built together I have suffered clinical depression since comeing here. So Im not sure if it was worth it mentally for me.
If a part of you doesnt want to move in with him listen to it.
2007-01-10 13:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by **Damn its cold up here** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want the drama of a relationship, but he wants you to move half way across the map to be with him? That sounds a little weary to me. If I were you, I'd sit down and do the pro/con thing...ya know, What is there for you in Mi/Cali? Who do you have there/here? Do you think your relationship is strong enough? Stuff like that. After you do that read them and understand why you wrote it so you can keep backing yourself up when you have a talk with your guy to let him know what is going on with you. Weigh each decision carefully and if you do decide to move with him, don't take all of your stuff. It's easier just to bring a few things, than all of it, and have to bring it all back. But if you go, after you are there for a few months, if all seems well, then have your stuff mailed to you. I hope you decide what to do and good luck in your decision.
2007-01-10 14:05:02 · answer #4 · answered by chelleighlee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry honey, but I think you should let go. You don't want to move away from your life that has yet to blossom, especially not with a guy who is friends with his ex even though he knows it bothers you. If he's inconsiderate about that, he'll be inconsiderate in similar situations.
Give him what he thinks he wants, "to party and not have the drama of a relationship", silly boy. You deserve so much more, I know it's so hard to leave after two years but do it, don't waste your time on a man who won't fulfil you, there is a guy out there who will!
2007-01-10 13:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by Vena cava 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all the doubt, I'm not sure thee is much of a relationship to move to. Dont move because you are expected to. Move because you love him and want to be with him.
The not exactly together thing sounds like a bunch of BS to me. I did a long distance relationship with my current bf for 2 years. i was here in cali and he was in north carolina. If he doesnt want to be with you whil eyou are away, are you sure things will last when you move there? or will his partying get in the way? Sometimes you do grow apart, that is a hard thing to let go of, You still love the person, but you are in 2 different places.
Just follow your instincts,they are usually right.
2007-01-10 13:56:17 · answer #6 · answered by Heather F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. If he is not the person you fell in love with and mentioned he didn't want relationship drama...what does that tell you? Moving to MI is like asking for trouble and you will only be inviting negativity into your life. Step out of your emotional shoes and think with your head.
2007-01-10 14:02:54 · answer #7 · answered by Petra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under these circumstances, DONT move, DONT lose your virginity and DONT give up your life when their is no solid commitment in the relationship. If he wants to still party, I can only see problems ahead for you. Stay where you are, and stay in touch with him. Plan your own life, your career, and also go out and enjoy yourself. Who knows there maybe somebody living around the corner from you that you may like better.
2007-01-10 13:51:58 · answer #8 · answered by Kevon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think logically, you have alot more to lose than he does, he might love you, but love is not enough in a relationship, specially if it's long distance. For you to make such sacrifice the'd have to be a whole lot more in stake, such as kids, or if you were married. If you have doubts about it before it happens, it will not work out. Stay, wait longer, and eventually the love will diminish, and you'll find somebody else locally.
2007-01-10 13:55:23 · answer #9 · answered by Frank the tank 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one, but i can only tell you what i would do. Im not you and i dont know your whole situation but if he's not the person you fell in love with two years ago then how are you going to say you love him and not feel bad about it? I would stay put for a while until things go back to normal... if they dont then i would let go. i kno that it's hard to do but it's better then being lonley and sad right? He already knows every one what if he decided to let you go when you got their? what are you gonna do then? think about it. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-10 13:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by menos_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go...move on. If he doesnt want to the "drama" of a relationship, then he doesnt want a relationship. Because they are hard work and there will always be "drama" in a relationship. And if his so called best friend is so important to him, then why doesnt he just get with her. Screw that!! Move on!
2007-01-10 13:51:30 · answer #11 · answered by Sonya S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋