ever since i was little i can remember my parents always depending on me for things. wen i was 14 we lost out house and i had to get job so i could help pay the bills. now i m 19 and i m the only one working and giving money. they are on disabality and i understand they have problems but i m tired of always being depended on for things and when i dont have it they get upset and they make me feel bad about myself and nt being able to help them more . i love my parents and they make me feel bad when i go out because they cant and i always get the i miss you text messges and cant wait for you to come home. i m tired of them always making me feel bad but i dont wanna hurt there feelings espically my mom but i m fed up and dont kno wat to do any more
2007-01-10 05:35:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's a tough situation you're in. You should help as much as you fiscally, physically, and psychologically can (only you can decide how much that is). They are you're parents and you don't want to have regrets about not helping them. However, you have to set some realistic limits that you think are fair and you can live with. Have an open discussion with both of them. If you can't handle both together, speak to them separately. They may be hurt initially but they will get over it. They know that you love them and they love you. If you don't take care of your emotional health, you won't be any good to anyone-especially yourself.
You're an adult now. Part of being an adult is being honest with yourself and others-even when it is something the other person may not want to hear. You are the only person that can change your life.
The one law that does not change is that everything changes, and the hardship I was bearing today was only a breath away from the pleasures I would have tomorrow, and those pleasures would be all the richer because of the memories of this I was enduring.
-Louis L'Amour
2007-01-10 06:25:24 · answer #1 · answered by Summer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well- since they are like disabled- why dont' you suggest they go on disability?? they can get money for a while not much but at least it will take some strain fromy ou having to work so much. Don't you have any other borthers that could possibly chip in and helP?? if you do - you should tell them to help out. It sux that i bet you don't ben go to college yer cuz you can't. Why dont' you talk to you r parens about getting on disability and see how it goes. Good luck and you should be proud of yourself for helping them out like that. You're only sick of it cuz you probably want to spend your money on stuff for you and it's only normal but- be patient because no matter what- they are your parents and they took care of you when you were little and now that it's your turn- you should just go on with it.
2007-01-10 05:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, tell them how you feel, emphasizing on the fact that you really love them, but you need time away, and not to be depended on as much. Gosh, you're 19!!! They should be able to let go AT LEAST a little bit, you're not 10 any more!!!
Good Luck!!!! :)
2007-01-10 05:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by Molly P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow that is a hard place to be in i mean you love your parents so much and you want to be there to help but you have to live your own life and support your own self i think you should definltly sit them down and tell them everything how you feel and tell them that you do love them and you will be here for them and tell them your moving out and you move out go get a apartment and do your thing and when they need something you can be there to HELP nit to SUPPORT them, disabilty really isnt to much but, you can live off of it and maintain, so maybe you should give them like 100 dollars for the month, and that is that good luck.
2007-01-10 13:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by brown_eyedgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them in a way that does not involve them but you: "i need some mobility"
Don't throw away your own needs just to prevent hurting them. Whatever you do you will always hurt people. So help your parents because it feels good to support them, to help them in their needs. And next to that take good care of you own needs.
Ask them for a good talk about what you need. Don't direct it too quickly to what you don't want (textmessages for instance)
Love, Dr. Aram
2007-01-10 05:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by Dr. Aram, from Holland with love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already 19. You need to tell them. If you don't they will depend on you until you break. I know you love them, if you didn't you wouldn't be trying to help. They need to know your feelings now, because later when you leave home they will not know what to do.
2007-01-10 05:40:46 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well just be like you know what im 19 years old and I can do what I want. I've helped you out long enough. Disabiltiy should cover them enough. Go have fun...you are only young once.
2007-01-10 05:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by H-Dizz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its time to move on with your life, i think that if they are depending on you now, when your 19, then they will be depending on you forever. Its time to get on with your life, and its time they take care of themselves. Good luck
2007-01-10 05:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jason 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way as u feel when i was about ur age my parents would not buy me any minutes to my cell phone. Although i still need to suffer through that until they have the f.u.c.k. money for that!
2007-01-10 05:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by Erik W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, no matter how hard it may be it is time to walk away and be selfish- otherwise you will resent them for the rest of your life- if they are capable of making money then they need to do so- if not then there are programs that the state can provide to help them- its hard and i am sorry for you but you have to stand up for yourself as well
2007-01-10 05:41:38 · answer #10 · answered by shannon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋