me and this guy met on a cruise. we hung out since day one, but i never really noticed him until the 4th night. the 4th night we hung out the whole entire night just me and him talking about everything. and then he made it a point to make sure we were hanging out the next night. by the end of the 4th night we had layed together, and hooked up as well. he slept over that night, and the next night we hung out again. at one point he was in the casino, and my friend went to the casino and asked him to come hang out with us. sure enough, he came within 10 minutes and we hung out. me and him went to his room to be alone and we were hooking up and everything led to sex happening in the moment. it was great, but he didn't talk much. after we had sex we walked to my room, and he was about to come in but his cousin walked past us, and asked if we wanted to go to the casino. so we went to the casino, and then i left to go lay down. he told me he'd come back, and he did to sleepover. the next night he came looking for me but my friend told him i was with another guy (which i wasn't). he supposedly got upset and didn't hang out with me the next two nights. i told him that i wasn't with another guy and everything got cleared up, and we hung out again. the whole entire night, me, him, and my best friend hung out. then my friend left with some guy, and me and this guy ended up hooking up again, and everything led to sex again happening in the moment. this time he talked a lot more, and he told me he wanted to do it with me for a long time. he constantly asked me if i was alright, and we acted like a couple, having a cute relationship. the next night we hung out the whole night and kissed goodbye. after the cruise he messaged me right away on myspace, and we kept messaging eachother back and forth until about october. i had visited him and he acted the same exact way he did on the cruise and he kissed me goodbye on the lips and everything. when i stepped outside for a minute, some guy even asked this guy where his girlfriend went. haha. at one point i thought this guy had been avoiding me because the computer does crazy things, so i messaged him and i was like..if you don't want anything to do with me..please don't write back..but he did write back explaining how of course we're still friends and he doesn't have a girlfriend. i happen to be going to college where he lives in august which was planned before i even met him. but now it's been 5 months after the cruise, and he just got a girlfriend. i have no intentions of breaking them up at all. it's only normal to move on, we live far away and can't be together.
do you think he really liked me a lot? or do you think he was using me?
and if you think he was using me..can you please tell me why
p.s. i know cruises are supposed to be fun and not serious, but this was different, and i didn't ever give him head or anything
2007-01-10 04:47:16 · 21 answers · asked by jess p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, what does fellatio have to do with how he feels about you and you about him?
Second, if you and he never said you were exclusive then he was not using you. You never declared your love for each other and you never got engaged. No he wasn't using you any more then you were using him. Think about that for a minute.
2007-01-10 04:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, that is the longest and most detail question I ever read. It sounds is if you found someone to relate to emotionally and physically. As with most things timing and distance and I think your age are letting you know that this is not going to work out. He sounds like a stand up guy. Which is great and hard. Great for you to experience the feelings and hard to move on. Being a nice guy is not easy when moving on from a relationship, I can attest to that.
I just hope you take away from this experience that it was a positive encounter. Be true to yourself and the decisions you make with future relationships will be that much stronger.
2007-01-10 04:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by John B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok i think because you two were in a stress free environment (the cruise) things happened a lot faster than they would have at home. It sounds like he really did like you and the fact that he's seeing someone now doesn't change that. I would call what you had fun and wonderful but I wouldn't count on anything happening when you go to college near him. But at least if you are in the same area you can talk and even hang out. Who knows he might decide you the one he wants all on his own. I had almost the exact same thing happen when i went to hawaii, it was wonderful and we're still friends, so it can happen and i think he really did like you.
2007-01-10 04:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by Jess B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am sure he liked you a lot but he just couldn't do the distance which you understand. I have been on my fair share of cruises and there are tons of girls so he could of easily hooked up with anyone. I think it is good that you move on and don't stress if he liked you or not. I met a guy that lived far from me and we hit it off right away but then he had to move back and he couldn't do the distance thing. Which is fine now because I have moved on but I wondered if he really liked me or not. But now I think it doesn't matter I did care about him a lot but if he can't wait for me to be closer to him then I am better off. So move on and don't stress over this guy. Good Luck!
2007-01-10 04:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by #1techfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hon. I'm sorry you went through this. He's young. From what you wrote, I don't think he meant to hurt you, and he did "like" you from the standpoint he found you very attractive and enjoyed your company. But guys that young aren't ready to settle down, least of all with someone who lives far away. He simply found someone who lives closer to him who he can have fun with. Guys that age just want to have fun, and don't want to deal with all the headaches of a relationship.
You're right to move on. Who knows what would have happened if he lived closer, but you don't live in a hypothetical world. See this as just a casual fling -- fun while it lasted, but nothing to dwell over. Don't second guess yourself or beat yourself up. Just remember the fun you had on your cruise.
That said, learn from the experience. If you want a guy to learn to like you for who you really are, make them have to get to know you. That means knowing someone for more than a few days (or even weeks) before sleeping with them. If you act like you just want to have fun, that's all they see you as. Don't put yourself in a position that you could be used. You deserve better than that!
2007-01-10 05:02:34 · answer #5 · answered by true tiger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was using you. The same thing happened to me. Me and a bunch of friends went to Vegas and I hooked up with one of them. I thought it was a "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" thing, but he said he wanted more. We talked about everything and I ended up falling for him. We hooked up a few times after Vegas and then he stopped calling. He also tried hooking up with one of my friends. I later found out he had a baby and a girlfriend. After all that I still have feelings for him. Guys are assholes and will say and do anything just for some pussy. Sorry to hear you got used. Welcome to the club.
2007-01-10 04:57:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol.....on head part....I think he did like you a lot. I have to ask why did your friend tell him you where with some1 else. that's not cool. But the fact that you two live so far way made it hard. I think woman can hold on to a feel without having to see the person, but knowing that they feel the same. When men have to a visual or personally in their lives to keep a reminder of their feelings.
2007-01-10 05:04:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you explained it, you had a great thing together and I don't think he was using you. It sounded wonderful and you had a great time.
Savor what you had as one of the greatest times of your life, you'll always have you memories. People do move on and you will too.
2007-01-10 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok your p.s. was way to much information
sounds to me like you made a lovely connection on the cruise, and he just lost intrest because of the distance thing- if its meant to be then you will probably hook up again once you move closer-
2007-01-10 04:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by shannon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to experience, on a cruise guys are looking for one thing to hookup and all guys want to think they spoiled you for all other guys.
Next time be more careful about who you bed down with. Forget him move on.
Best of luck
2007-01-10 04:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by ted j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋