My 3yo son dosn't sent listen?

Question

I have a 3yo son and a 5yo girl.
My 3yo son dosnet listen to ANYTHING. Yes, I realize its normal to an extent. Ive been consitant with time out(never worked),I take things away,Ive even gone the mustard route. Which at first worked but now he'll open his mouth on his own. w/o me getting into full detail,try to assume that he really is just terrible at listening,instead of telling me to be consitant. I have been.Dont judge me as a mom.Youve seen those VERY out of control kids,he's not THAT wild(yet) Id like a magical idea or is it possible that at his age,theres something more? Are some children just naturally alot more "active"(to say it nicely) My patience with him is about to hit zero. I dont have the strength to do this anymore,especially now that Im a newly grieving mom. Help! If you can. I want to remain a benelovent mom.

Answer 1

I am with you! I have been thinking the same way with my 2 year old son. He is just crazy at times. I am exhausted by days end! The horrible thing is I was a therapist with autistic children, a head start teacher, and a caseworker! I do all the "right" things but he still goes 100 miles an hour and continues to do things that drive me crazy.

What helps? Well I sit back and think what is he doing that needs immediate attention! Trying to take apart electric outlets is on the top of my list. He likes tools and at times I will catch him at the outlet. Initially I scream in terror which scares the b-Jesus out of him. I then take him by the hand, kneel next to him, and say, "Jeffrey, you know that is so dangerous! I Love you and do not want you to touch the outlets b/c you can get hurt very, very bad..." The point is that he needs to know when I am serious. The stuff that drives me crazy like his loud play noises and the constant jumping from objects and the crying and throwing himself on the ground when I say no is annoying.

It has helped to do the opposite of what I naturally would do. Really!

I smile at him, use a few soft words if any, take him by the hand or hug him, and take him to a toy and start to play. I smile and just listen to him while we play and he is adorable (at that moment!) I think, "GOD, I love him so" and then I tell him that! Some may say that this is reinforcing inapropriate behavior but
I think it is redirecting to good behavior, relaxing your child AND YOURSELF, and teaching your child how to act calmly. Making a big deal with punishment over bad behavior has not worked for me or my kids. YES, I punish them but with a calm voice, "Get to your room, sit, relax, take a breath - Come back out when you are okay and ready to do this right". It is actually really hard to stay calm and smile. It is much easier for me to scream and make mean faces but I am tired of the outcomes or lack there of!!!

Yelling and screaming is over rated. It does not work! I save it for when I really, really had enough!

Even still he is just extremely active. He rarely sits still, always into somthing, and does not want to hear "NO". But I would not be proud of myself as a mother if I did not help him learn right from wrong, show him love, and be there for him. Your work as a mother will never be finished. I kept imagining that day when my boys will be grown, independent, and don't need direction anymore and I would be able to sit back and relax. Guess what? It breaks my heart! I will be sad and I will miss all of it!!! The good and the bad!!! I think to myself that I am on this Earth for a short time and I need to make the most of it, I need to be the best mother to my sons. My goal is to HELP make them strong, healthy, happy men. I brought them into this world and it is my job to nurture them, hug them, love them, and make them smile. The smile that will last them a lifetime is the one they get when they look up to you and know they are safe, loved, and protected.

Ask yourself these three questions and WRITE down your answers on paper. Be truthful to yourself!!!

Look at his diet, can it be healthier?
Look at how you act and react, what do you think your son sees and are you happy with how you present yourself?
Look at your families daily routine, what works well in your family? Focus on that! What is chaotic? Then change that!

And the only person who can judge you as a mom is yourself! And little boys make it a challenge! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! But if you get to a point where it is too much call your pediatrician and be blunt, ask for their thoughts, ask for help if you need it! Do what you need to to help your children!

Answer 2

Boys are very different from girls. Boys need discipline in the physical form. I know, I know..."don't spank your kids." But that's a load of crap. Sometimes you need to spank your children if they can't comprehend anything else. I'm not talking about beating, or hurting your child, but a light smack on the rump won't hurt him, it will just startle him and get his attention. Also, if there is male presence in his life, make sure that male presence has an active role in his discipline. Trust me, as a little boy, dad is much more effective than mom at getting his point across.

Answer 3

try allowing him time to run wild. i have a three and two yearold both boys. every day after nap time i take them outside for and hour to run around and be kids. then they help me with dinner. which takes longer with there help but keeping them busy is better then having them run wild. also when he seems to be acting up try giving him something to do. like a box of crayons and a coloring book or put a tape on he likes. or something along those lines. my mother always said its better to distract the child then to lose you mind. whenever tempers do flare and they will keep doing the time out. stick with it like you are but only when he is really bad and not just bored. trust me boys at this age get bored easy. my sons do. hope this works as well for you as it does for me.

Answer 4

I am sorry to for your loss. My son is almost three and it seems that it goes in one ear and out the other. People always look at me like I just let him do whatever he wants. Sometimes you just want to run out of the store screaming. I don't know what it is about boys but they are just more stubborn and independent than girls i think. Just keep doing what you are doing. Be patient, and good luck.

Answer 5

my daughter is VERY active, as you put it. She is 3,too. I think they are growing mentally, and they just want to be into EVERYTHING!!! Believe me, I have tried time outs, taking things away, spanking her, all sorts of things....I think it's just a stage that they go through and they will grow out of it, but continue to stay consistent so that it doesn't get worse. One thing that helps to calm my daughter down is quiet time. When she is getting to wild, we sit down together and have quiet time, and it usually works great. Good luck, and sorry about your loss..

Answer 6

-Get down on his level so you're eye to eye (not in his face, just on his level)

-Tell him "Look at me please" or "Eyes on me" so he's not looking around at not paying attention

-Take him aside if there's alot of activity going on (I.E. at the supermarket, take him to an aisle with few or no people so he's not distracted)

-Ask him to repeat what you've said to him

If you do these things, then he'll have his direction and if he doesn't follow them then he needs to be disciplined. Take away a toy, take away a priveledge, even pop his butt if you have to. Maybe start telling him the consequences while telling him what you want him to do. For example: "You need to pick up your toys, or I'm taking them away" or "Please come put on your coat or you won't be watching your movie later".

Answer 7

Whisper to him when making a request, giving "mom" orders, when you really want to yell. If he does not obey, turn your back and ignore him. It's all about attention. When he tries to be seen, turn away, don't show him your face. good luck

Answer 8

Keep on disciplining them it will never end.