Buffet or sit down dinner?

Question

Are sit down dinners too....stuffy?

I'm totally torn between a sit down dinner & a buffet. We are having hors d'ourvres, then dinner. With the sit down dinner you have better food options (at least where I'm getting married, that's not a general statement). The buffet actually turns out being more expensive than the sit down meal as well.

I just don't want to give off a "this is formal, act like it" feeling & I want people to go away happy.

I'm open to opinions. Thanks in advance.

Just wanted to throw out that it'd be a served buffet if we did go with the buffet option.

Because someone asked about the better food & buffet being more expensive thing...

The buffet food is more plain than the sit down meal. Example, buffet has plain grilled chicken, the sit down meal has a chicken breast stuffed with cheese, spinich, etc.

The buffet actually also become more expensive by adding dinner rolls. They come with the sit down dinner, you have to pay extra per person for bread in the buffet.

ANd other caterers aren't really an option...we are actually getting married 3 hours from where we live (all our family is in one area, we are in another). The location has it's own resturant, which is also our caterer. We found it impossible to book everything seperate being so far away. Plus, the room rental & service is free if we get the food there.

Answer 1

My opinion is always go for the sit down dinner. I think the food tends to be of better quality when it is plated and served to your guests. I never liked the idea of my guests having to kind of serve themselves at a buffet, especially when ladies are wearing high heels and there are elderly people there. A sit down dinner doesn't make people feel all stiff and formal, I mean, we all get served at a table when we go out to eat right? Another downside to buffets, they usually call people up by table, so people could be eating their meals 15 or 25 minutes apart depending on the size of your wedding. At a sit down people are usually served within 5 minutes of each other. It's your wedding, do what you like, but remember it is an "event" that shouldn't seem casual. Show your guests you think they are special and have a lovely sit down meal. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Buffet dinners are a little cheaper because you don't have to have as many servers bringing out all the plates and such. Also with buffet style leftovers are allowed to be taken home. YOu also have to think about how snooty your guests are. Some people are just that plain selfish that it doesn't matter how beautiful your wedding was, they will still complain. I have performed my fair share of weddings, and I prefer the atmosphere of a buffet dinner. People can get what they like and you dont have a bunch of wasted food on a plate to throw away. Also think about how long your reception will be. If it is only going to be an hour or 2, a sit down meal where you only eat what is put in front of you will be fine. If you are planning to party till the sun is up, the buffet will provide snacking throughout the night. If you do have the buffet, make sure the tables are numbered so the caterer can tell table #1 to go eat, then table 2, table 3 etc.. Makes it go so much smoother. Try to have the older folks and kids go first, gets them settled down for a few minutes. The buffet just makes it a more talkative, active, mingley kind of reception, whereas the sit down nobody moves from there chairs. Like I said, I prefer the buffet style, people seem to have a little more fun.

Answer 3

A sit down dinner is more formal than a buffet, but that doesn't mean that a sit down dinner has to be stuffy-formal. The dinner itself isn't what makes a wedding stuffy-formal. The music, location, attire, attitudes of the couple, etc. make it stuffy-formal.

I've been to buffet receptions, and I don't like them at all. The food is rarely kept at a constant temperature, and I just don't like the taste of food that's been sitting out like that.

The buffet is more expensive because food will be wasted. And yes, it has less food options. I would definately go with sit-down. Or, ask if your reception site has family style.

Answer 4

I personally like buffet better because you can eat what you want and as much as you want. For me we picked Buffet cause my father can eat 3 whole meals while my cousin can barely finish half of hers. But which every you do, people will be happy as long as the food is good and they can get booze :)
I would go with the sit down dinner if it's cheaper!!! And most places now are really good about getting you a second serving if needed.

Answer 5

I think you can have a casual wedding even if it is a sit down dinner. I personally like a sit down one because that way everyone gets to eat around the same time. I was at one wedding with a buffet, and by the time the last people got their food, the first people were done. It just didn't seem right. If everyone eats all together, they can the get up and all dance and drink together!

Answer 6

Personally, I think a sit down dinner is more formal than a buffet. I had a buffet in the mid afternoon and it consisted of different salads, little sandwhiches, fruit & dip, and some other stuff. It only cost us $1600 to feed over 100 people. We got married in May and it was a super relaxed wedding or atleast I wanted it to feel that way. Everybody was pleased.

Best of luck on all the planning (I know it can be stressful) and congrats!

Answer 7

It sounds like you're leaning towards a sitdown meal but don't want the stuffiness attached to it. This may sound cheesy (and impractical if everyone knows each other), but have you thought about games? You could put Trivial Pursuit cards in the middle of the table, do a quiz on who knows you two the best, put cameras in the middle and encourage them to take pictures, etc. If this seems to tacky for you, maybe you should stick with a buffet style to keep it moving and less formal.

Answer 8

there's a reason for both. You have a sit down dinner when a) you have a lot of money to spend into something more formal, since one of the thumb rules of formal dinners (sit downs as you say) is you have to have 1 waiter per table (10 guests per table). b) you don't have a lot of guests.
You usually have a buffet when the amount of guests is over 20, it gives more room, and guests can move more freely in order to mingle, talk or dance.
This is your decision, but for a semi-formal wedding i'd go for a buffet.

Answer 9

Buffet. Here's what happens at a sit down dinner: Nothing. People sit in the same seat, with the same people, and never move. There is no circulation at the wedding, no mingling. Sit down dinners lead to sit down boredom.

The best way to go is to use smaller tables, and literally, have fewer seats than guests. This is ettiquette appropriate -- trust me. This will force guests to move around the room and actually enjoy themselves.

People will be the happiest with a mingling reception (they always are). Sit down says "This is formal and you must stay in your seat until called on."

(Actually the best way to go is to have HEAVY hors d'ouvres that act as a dinner. HEAVY finger food - salmon, endive leaves, cheeses -- things that don't need to be cut and that you don't need to sit to eat. It is the most cost effective and most condusive to fun).

Just think about it. Trust me.

Answer 10

I like the whole sit down dinner. It's much more elegant. I just hate the thought of people all dressed up in they're nice clothes, having to wait in line to serve them self food. I think buffets are tacky. I'm doing a sit down dinner.