Should the step kids call him dad because of the new baby is coming?

Question

My step kids mother got remaried and from the beginning have called their stepdad by his first name. Now that their mom is having a baby with stepdad, mom has told the kids that they have to call him dad so they don't confuse the baby when it comes. My stepdaughter age 5 says she knows he's not her real dad and wants to call him dad so she doesn't confuse the baby. But my stepson age 6 still wants to call him by his first name. Is it right for their mom to do that to them when they see thier natural father 50% of the time?

Answer 1

Your stepkids' mom is stupid, and she thinks her baby is so stupid she won't figure out that folks use different names for reference.

Is she going to make the rest of the world call stepdad "Daddy" as well?

I don't think it's right. I think the two biological parents need to hash this out though, with no step influence. If your husband is okay with it, let it go.

Answer 2

No it's not right. The kids need to be able to call him by whatever name makes them comfortable whether it's his first name or dad. I think if they see their father half of the time it is definitely not fair to him or them to change how they address their stepfather. The baby will someday be old enough to explain to why the other kids call his/her father by his first name. The baby will have to know someday that they have a different father than the other two kids.

She shouldn't force the kids to call him dad if they don't want to. She is doing it because it makes things less complicated for her and that's not putting the kids' best interest first.

My child calls my husband "dad" but it's because he chose to. He sees my husband as more of a father than his biological dad because he doesn't see him often or seem very interested in being a part of his life...

Answer 3

each so often in step figure circumstances there's no sparkling accurate or incorrect. the real father is the dad and continuously will be, yet small childrens each so often fall into the conventional. It extremely doesn't damage for both one among them to be referred to as dad. an identical difficulty for ya is my nephew had 2 ladies and labored out of state for awhile and and his spouse labored nights and weekends in retail. They were a million and six on the time. They stayed with me each nighttime and maximum weekends for fairly a lot 2 years. in this time My childrens were 2, 8, and 12. because my childrens were operating round saying daddy daddy daddy, the only three hundred and sixty 5 days previous picked up on it and then the 6yr previous did sometimes. you are able to't clarify to the 1yr previous and this extremely damage her actual daddy's emotions. so we compromised and referred to as my husband enormous daddy because he's a larger guy than my nephew, they theory it become humorous and it stuck. Now 5 years later they nonetheless call him that and our own childrens do too each so often. each so often you in consumer-friendly words could make the suitable out of a difficult difficulty. It doesn't shrink your husbands love from his childrens, it would want to easily make issues a lot less puzzling than a wrestle. the mum become contained in the incorrect in asking and must have let nature take it truly is direction although.

Answer 4

Yes and no what they should of done was to communicate with you before getting the kids involved. All of you could of sat the children down and expland it together but let it be the childs decission as to what to call the step parent because they are the ones who have to be comfortable with how they communicate with that step parent. Children have a since of what is going on and the baby is probably the one who will be the less confused, simply because they adapt quicker and why make a difference wit what has been going on your all still family no matter what name is being called tht should be what matters is that they all bond.

Answer 5

My step son lives with us full time, and calls me by my first name. While he has been living with us we've had 2 more kids who are now 7 and 3 and neither of them are confused. It was actually pretty good, they new at an early age that I had a name besides "mommy". It's so totally up to the kids and what they are comfortable with.

Answer 6

Fair or not, the kids will call him by whatever name they feel most comfortable with. Likewise with you if you were to have a child with their father.

Dont get all stressed over it - the kids will work it out in the long run. Even at 5 & 6 they are wiser than we (adults) give them credit for.

And remember, the only thing that is important is that all 4 of you love the children and treat them with respect.


(My daughter was 50/50 with her father and she choose to call her step-dad "Daddy Bill" instead of dad. It worked out fine and it also helped when she needed to introduce him to her friends. )

Answer 7

No, it is not but I doubt that she will listen to you regarding the matter. The kids should not have to call him anything that they are uncomfortable with. Maybe their father could step in and be an advocate for the boy. It depends on the mother though... it is just going to cause more drama if there is a fight about this.

Answer 8

I think it should be a matter of what the children and the step-dad are comfortable with. Children don't grow up confused when they hear their mom calling their dad by his first name or a pet-name, do they? All children learn to call their parents by the name they hear repeated to them most often... it's not rocket science.

Answer 9

We also have a blended family. Our youngest is 6 months old. I do not expect the two older kids to call me "Mom" nor have I even suggested it. The fact is, the kids already have a mom and it's not me. It doesn't mean I don't love them any less than my biological child but I'm not going to disrespect their mother by trying to take her place.

There are so many blended family these days that I really don't feel that there's much confusion anymore. When our son is old enough to understand, I'll explain to him why I'm "Mom" to him but "Tanya" to his brother and sister.

Answer 10

No, I don't think it's right. If they feel more okay about calling him by his first name, they should be allowed too. They can still help the baby learn to say the word "Dad" or they could even call him Dad when they're around the baby but by his first name when they're not.