I'm in my 30's, never married, no kids. How can I have kids if I never marry?

Question

I got a stable job and home. Why does marriage and kids go hand in hand?

Answer 1

Let me say this, two loving parents are better for a child than one. I know for my family, my son is only 15 months old... and when my husband is at work, our son always looks for Dad, says Dad, etc. When I work on weekends, our son asks for Mom. So a stable home with both Mom and Dad are good for the children. Now, if you can't find the one you want to spend your life with, have you thought about adoption if you truly want children? This is something I probably would have done had i not met my husband because I longed to have children. Now as long as you will be a loving parent, I see nothing wrong with adopting a child. But if you truly want that someone special in your life, I will say what my grandmother said to me- "It will happen when you least expect it." So you really can't wait around for this to happen, because it will. This happened for myself, I went years and years thinking I'd never find the right one for me. And when I met my husband, I thought we'd be really good friends, because we hung out every day, it was such a good friendship, but it changed when he kissed me lol. Then it hit me, wow, I think I do really like this guy. I wasn't expecting anything to happen, and it did, and we didn't go a day without being together. It's been a few yrs now, and we haven't been apart. To be honest, we actually met on myspace- we got to talking for a few months, and then I found out he was roommates with a guy I worked with... so that's when we met and started hanging out.

Anyways, if you want a child now, I'd adopt. if you already are dating someone, these days, it's not uncommon to have a child without being married. It happens lot's... but think about the child first. Goodluck. P.S. My husband is almost 30, I'm younger, but I know how you feel being in your 30's and wanting to have children soon... but people have children at all ages- my husband's dad was 43 when his youngest son was born. My uncle just had his first and he was 34.

Answer 2

Hello!! This is 2007! Not 1907!

I'm 34 and just had a baby six months ago. We're not married but living in sin (for those religious types out there).

The fact of the matter is, you're an adult and can make whatever decision you want. Just make sure that you're really up front about what your wants are in life and that you don't lead anyone on. If you're not interested in a serious relationship in any fashion, then you might want to rethink your want of having a child. Children really do need to feel secure and know what love is. It helps if they can see it first hand between their parents. Having a child together does not mean you have to get married... after all, it's just a piece of paper.

Answer 3

Actually, here in Amercia, the scales have tipped the other way. Only 48% of families consist of a mommy and a daddy, the other 52% are single parents or other relatives raising the kids. You are too young to give up on love, but if you want to start a family without a wife, there are many kids who need someone to adopt them. You should look into it! Good luck!

Answer 4

Well first thing you have to understand single parenting is difficult, once you have decided to tackle that hurdle, their are several things you can do. One is consider adoption, several states do allow single parent adoption as long as a certain income is earned by that person. Another option is foster parenting, which may be just the thing to do before considering adoption. If you want a child of your own you can always try in-vitro fertilization, or artificial insemmenation. Keep in mind all of these options are expensive, and you will need donor sperm for the last two.

Answer 5

now a days it doesn't alot of familys are not married to each other. my sister has a six year old and she is not married to the father but they are together and have been for seven years now. some people just choose not to get married. if you find the right girl im sure that she will be on the same page too. good luck .

Answer 6

it doesn't have to anymore. First things first, you should attempt to become a big brother/sister (since you didn't state your gender), or see if you can become a foster parent. Adoption is a good choice, but it does take a while, unless you are willing to go the "private" route, which is controversial. Artificial ensemination is ok too, if you are willing, and the lady in question is also. Legal matters pop up in the last two choices, so I hope you know a good lawyer as well.

Answer 7

They don't necessarily...it's not the law that you be married before you have kids. I am not married, and have my second baby on the way....I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years though, but I just don't see the point of getting married. You can have kids the same way married people do: have sex!

Answer 8

marriage and kids go together because its a sign of stability. kids are better off with two loving parents than one parent who is mad because they arent getting child support and what not. you can have kids without marriage but its better all around to be married

Answer 9

I would talk with an adoption agency or even your county's Children's Services division. They will give you information about adoption or fostering children. Now days, many people who aren't married are adopting and fostering children. It's a way for you to get children and to give a child a bright and happy future.

Answer 10

Go adopt... kids need homes and if your a good man you'll love them like they ought to be