My girlfriend and I / lesbian relationship. We have been living together for 6 months. We do love each other unconditionally. Our relationship however struggles, and we continue to fight over trust. I have always had a lot of trouble trusting, not because of her (she is an angel) but because of past experience. Everytime I accuse her, it hurts her, but its not her fault. It's my own insecurities. This is something that I am going 2 have 2 work on 4 the relationship 2 B a success. We broke up the night before New Years, she simply couldn't take it anymore. Now she wants 2 work it out, but we can't decide rather we should do it together or apart. If she moves out then we have the chance to miss each other, but where she would move 2 would be an hour drive 4 me, and she works full time and goes 2 school at night so I would never see her if she moved, only on the weekends. Should we stay together and work at it, or move seperately and do so? she hurts me everyday w/out meaning to.
2007-01-10 04:16:48 · 9 answers · asked by brighteyezinva 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She doesnt hurt you everyday, you hurt yourself, that is what you must see. She has no ill intent, she loves you. I think you should definately stay together. Being apart will not help the 'trust' issues. Try to think positive, when you think bad things refuse to let them affect you and replace them with positive thoughts. Carry her pic in your pocket and look at it when you need strength. If you love each other, you can get through this. She sounds very understanding so be thankful for the oppurtuinty for love you have been given. It is so hard to trust when the past is always rearing it's ugly head but it is possible. Let her know how much you love her and need her and ravish her with attention. Treat her like your queen and make her forget the problems you may have had in the past. Dont let your past dictate your future and dont let her get away. Hope this helps.
2007-01-10 04:23:39 · answer #1 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Effective Communication is the key to everything. Talk to her do not scream and yell or do the head thing and snap your fingers. Also talk to her not at her that makes a big difference. When you guys talk come up with some guidlines such as letting each other finish sentences before interupting. Also when we as humans talk to each other especially if we are passionate about what we are talking about we tend to get an attitude. Try to talk to her lacking attitude but full of emotion. I think maybe you should really sit down and decide together weather to stay in the same place or move away there are pros and cons to everything which ever decision has the most pros, choose that choice.
2007-01-10 12:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to stay together and work it out. sit down and explain to her that it is your insecurities that cause you to accuse her of things. and explain her what she does that hurts you. even if you've had these talks 1,000 times talk about it. if you spend a lot of time together take up a hobby or give each other some alone time each day. this will give you the chance to miss each other without the longer distance between. a relationship is work. and it needs help from both sides. try working it out while living together and if that fails and you still wish to work it out try living separate. i'm sure that if both of your hearts are really into this relationship things will fall into place quickly.
good luck.
2007-01-10 12:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by *~ riddles ~* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi you don't say what country you live in, but in the UK you can see Relate Councillor about this together. Any lesbian friendly Councillor would be able to help you both work together.
Unless you get new input from someone who can give you impartial good advice and support then you will just keep ending up in the same place. They could talk to your partner on your behalf and help to see why and how she is hurting you so bad and vice versa.
Good luck.
2007-01-11 09:19:04 · answer #4 · answered by How many questions can there be? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tough call...try it a part awhile other wise you will fall back into the same vicious cycle...u probably need to get some help with your issues so that you can have healthy relationships in the future...good luck whatever you choose...please remember
"if u have trust u have everything..if u do not have trust you have nothing...."
2007-01-10 12:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tikcus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would bother you even more if she moved since you have the trust issues you might think shes cheatin on you even though shes really going to school and working all the time...
this is a really tuff situation...
ultimately its up to the two of you but i think things can work either way...
and i think maybe living together would have the best results for your sake...
2007-01-10 12:23:31 · answer #6 · answered by icingonthekake99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay together if possible. You need to work on your issues without accusing her of wrongdoing.
2007-01-10 12:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How does she hurt you EVERY day??
I would not want to live in that type of stressful atmosphere.
I say move apart.
But you really have to listen to your own gut.
2007-01-10 12:23:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey i really feel for you in this situation...i had this girl leave me once when i said i love lezbo's...now shes a lezbo...its hot...i love her
2007-01-10 12:21:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋