Long distance relationships - any tips for success?

Question

Hello

I've met a wonderful bloke 4 weeks and things seem to be going well. He lives 3 hours drive away so we can't meet up often. I don't want to seem too full on but I'm not sure how to balance the wonderful times we are together with the long spaces in between. He seems to be really cool about things and obviously has a busy social life. How can I balance this so that there's a real chance this relationship will develop?

Answer 1

First of all, you want to calm down!
You sound panick stricken. I mean 3 hours away is hardly the other side of the planet.
And it's true that specially at the beginning, it's better to take things slowly, even if the desire is to see the loved one every day; And then before you know it, they're bored and want space and it might even be good bye.
Whatever small time you have together, make the best of it, so that this guy does want more and comes back for it.
Eventually he will make the effort to come more often, or arrange for you to, in his heavy time table.
Then, everybody has holidays once in a while.
You are right not to jump on him; Don't be too cool either, just use some restraint, and do tell him that you don't want to crowd him until he himself realizes that he does want you around more.
Real long distance relationships do work too. But it's because those people didn't rush into anything.
So, 3 hours away can only become a problem when people are no more interested in the relationship.
Good luck.xx

Answer 2

I've been in the same boat twice

First, I was in the UK and he was in Italy (we met whilst we were living there). We spoke often on the phone, wrote letters, all this in the days before cheap flights, e-mail and text messaging. In the end, without the physical side of things, we drifted into being friends and we are still friends, 9 years on.

I truly believe this happened as neither of us were willing to make a move to be with the other after a good 2 years together.

I moved on, about 2 years ago I met a guy living 1 1/2 hours drive from me. We spent weekends at each others homes, or in exploring nice places away from home, the nights he wasn't there I occupied myself with a hobby or went out with friends. Eventually he was spending more and more time with me, his dream job arose near my home, we moved in together and we are happily ever after....

So, give it time, get to know each other, use the opportunity to explore a new city and new areas together, only then can one of you decide whether to make the big move to be with the other.

Answer 3

been there.

london - manchester.

5 hr drive- 3 hrs by train.

only saw him every other weekend initially.

kept it all alive via the phone, texts and emails...... spoke for around 7 hours a day, cutting down eventually to around 3-4 hours a day- pretty much every single day.

increased seeing each other to almost every weekend (wasnt always poss due to expensive train tickets)

then came crunch time- someone had to move.

i did - nearly a year ago when we got this house.

it can work and i know how you feel as you must be dying to see him regularly - (i know i was ) and it felt like forever till the next time you see him.

all i can say is enjoy what you have at the moment.

o and why dont you find out how quick it would be to go by train? could cut the journey in half!

dont come on too heavy as it may frighten him off altogether!!

good luck

Answer 4

make sure u both have the same mobile network and get lots of free texts to use to each other so u can follow each other through the day and send little silly messages, meet on msn why watching tele at night and just try to meet as much as possible, always say good night to each other, my partner lived 2 hours drive away then went to uni 4 hours away and we have gone from strength to strength hate being apart but couldnt be more in love

Answer 5

I'm in the same shoes as you are at the moment. I worried a lot as I was afraid of him falling in love and me being unable to create a long-distance relationship. I believe the most important thing is to let it develop and see how committed both of you are...sooner or later it will be obvious whether there is a point in travelling every now and then to see each other...my date mentioned moving to London in July...if all goes well. so good luck...what is meant to be, will happen..

Answer 6

Eliminate the "long distance" part of it

Answer 7

Give it a try for awhile and see how it goes.

Answer 8

LDRs dont work honey...
unless there is strong comittment from both of u!

Answer 9

Move closer ....or move in together....