My ex boyfriend is coming to town,and I want to see him,but i don't know what to tell my present boyfriend

Question

He isvery jelouse,so i don't know if i should lie to him or tel him the truth,'cause he'll ask me where i was...what should i do??I don't want to hurt him...I don't feel anything to my ex,but he won't understand that.HELP

Answer 1

If you feel nothing for the ex, then why do you want to visit with him? I just think you are looking for an excuse to see him so you won't feel guilty. Loyalty, honesty, trust....you're relationship seems to be lacking all.

Thinking about your situation a little more, I came to this conclusion......I hope your boyfriend dumps you.

Answer 2

You have a big problem.
As a guy i would be very much against my girlfriend going to see her ex because he was in town.
The reason, despite what you might think, isn't jealousy. It's the fact that I know how guys can be. I wouldn't be surprised if your ex tries to get some from you.
All in all it's not a good idea to jeopardize your present relationship over an ex. Don't mistake what I just said for a justification for lying about the whole thing. If my gf lied to me about a meeting with an ex, I would assume that the worst happened. I wouldn't blame your bf for thinking the same thing, and in any case your recent lie would give me justification for not believing anything you said.
Your ex is your ex for a reason, and it's best to leave the past in the past.

Answer 3

You need to ask yourself several questions:
1. why do you need to see your ex boyfriend? Is it curosity, closure, ect.
2. Will it destroy your current relationship? If it will do you want to be with the current guy.
3. Is there a possiblity that old feelings will come to the surface when you see him.

I have an ex boyfriend that calls me all the time. I'll talk to him on the phone but I don't trust myself seeing him in person because of my track record with him. My current boyfriend of four years, knows the situation with the ex and myself and he trusts me completly. He could care less whether or not I talk to him because my current boyfriend knows that I love him and would never leave him for the ex boyfriend.

Maybe you should just ask the current boyfriend what he thinks about talking to the ex.

Answer 4

First of all.. Why do you wish to see your ex-boyfriend? You say you feel nothing for him, yet you want to see him. Is seeing him worth jeopardizing your new relationship? Was it not enough the time you had with him? Do you not think girl, that it is time to let go? If you want to hold on to your ex for a friend you should have discussed it with your present boyfriend before now.. but if you insist in seeing your ex, whatever you do, tell your boyfriend before you do it.. nothing can be worse then for your present boyfriend to find out from other people.. He Will think you cheated on him, and If he is jealous now.. imagine later, if you stay together, if he don't break off with you, he will never trust you again..When a man does not trust his woman he makes her life hell.. Please think about it carefully if you love your boyfriend and do not wish to lose him, then let go all thoughts of seeing your ex.. It is not worth it. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I would suggest that you tell him the truth beforehand. If you do not inform him till afterwards he may think you are being sneaky and hiding things from him. Also it would be much better coming from you then if he was to find out from someone else. You may even want to invite him to join you if as you say you haven't any feeling for this old flame, and introduce the two. Let him know that you only want to say hi to this ex as an old friend and hopefully he will understand.

Answer 6

Well you can simply not see the ex. But as you seem determined to, I will have to say lie. I have never given that advice to anyone before but that is the only answer.

If you tell oyur present bf he will be upset, insecure, etc and this will have repercussions for years to come. That makes no sense to risk it. So if you really are going you have no logical choice.

I would still say- don't go!!!

Answer 7

Your boyfriend is jealous because he doesn't trust you. He is really just projecting the lack of trust he has in himself, he just can't see it.

It sounds to me like you actually want for your current relationship to be a mess. You are seeing ex-boyfriends but don't want to tell your current one. You are behaving a certain way to please someone else and you'll never be able to please anyone but yourself.

Your jealous boyfriend should be told the truth because if you start off with lying it gets easier and easier. If that's the kind of relationship you want - lack of trust, lack of communication, lying, cheating - then that's great for you. A lot of people really enjoy this kind of relationship.

My advice is don't lie - if your boyfriend doesn't trust you then it may be time to tell him to hit the road. Why wouldn't he trust you?

FP

Answer 8

If you do not feel anything for your ex then why do you want to see him?

I think that you are lying to yourself and that is a reason NOT to see your Ex.

Otherwise if you see him just say he is an old friend, not that he is an ex.

Answer 9

Tell him that you and your EX must sort things out! Tell him that you don’t feel right about some things and if he still think you are pulling something drop him he’s no good then now is he?

Answer 10

Well, if you have any feelings for your current boyfriend, you would be honest with him. If he doesn't like the idea, then don't sweat it since you don't have feelings for the ex anyway. You need to be honest with yourself!