My boyfriend is trying to control me and blaming me that I am sleeping around with my friends when I hang out with them. He constantly wants to make me fit in his schedule and he belittles the activities that I do. He was so loving and caring in the beginning but two months after he became violent and started throwing objects around me. I try to calm him down speaking with him but he seems that he doesn't care and he doesn't trust me. What can I do? I am really feeling depressed, I do whatever he says but even when I do what he says he is not satisfied and sometime he is not satisfied with the choices that he makes and he blames me. I am totally confused but some other times we have good times. Could you give me some advice? I offered him to go to a couple therapist, but he thinks I am the one who needs to see a therapist. Sex is good and we have really happy times but I feel so down more than half the time. He wants me to give up on my friends, if I love him.
2007-01-10 03:48:08 · 11 answers · asked by joe b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My advice to you is to let go of him. I went through the same thing and its not worth it. You can find someone that is going to care for you and going to be with you for the person that you are. DO NOT let go of your friends because in the long run they will be the only one there supporting you when he gets up and leaves. Don't put up with that..
Good luck for you, and I wish you the best.
2007-01-10 03:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by ivonne 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen honey--- my sister is going through the exact same thing you are. It's so not worth it. I know you may love him, but normally this type of behavior escalates into physical abuse. It comes from being insecure. The need to be controlling, make decisions for you, and not trusting you. If he won't go to counseling, you may reconsider who you are with. There's much worse things that could happen if you stay with him. I promise it will be hard at first, if you do decide to leave, but in the long run, you will realize what a great decision you made. After all, how can you expect to take care of anyone (your partner), if you can not take care of yourself first. Can you imagine what the ones around you would feel if they saw you were another victim of domestic violence.
2007-01-10 03:58:10 · answer #2 · answered by lakrfnami 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joe this is not a healthy or happy relationship and for your own safety you would be wise to put an end to it asap. Abuse if not nibbed in the bud will only progress and continue to occur and become worse as time goes on. If he threatens you when you tell him you want out then it may be become necessary to have a restraining order placed against him. Sex is no reason to continue a relationship that is unsafe for you. My best advice is to get out of the relationship if he doesn't want to work on his issues. Best of luck.
2007-01-10 03:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after being abused by him, you probably DO need some therapy! especially since you seem to think it's okay for him to be abusive toward you. he will never be satisfied with you because he lacks something inside.
get out of this situation. he is unbalanced & will only get worse. if he isn't already, he will start hitting you very soon. he's already violent, verbally abusive, & controlling. you could end up in the hospital or the morgue.
get out!! PLEASE!!! take care of yourself
2007-01-10 04:00:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got issus! irl, you need to get rid of him. You need to find you a man that is going to love and respect you. Who's gonna treat you like a queen. You don't need that loser! If he's doing that after just 2 months could you imagine if you stay with him? Do you see ur self with a person for the rest of your life who's gonna physically abuse you? You don't need that, get rid of him while you can, cuz believe me he ain't never gonna change. Good luck!
2007-01-10 04:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by Traviesa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check out the site that Sara T said. I was in an abusive marriage. I had signs before I got married, but didn't recognize them. You need to get out. They do not change and it will get worse. Trust me, I'm living proof. Get out before you get hurt or even worse, before you die.
2007-01-10 03:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by freedove06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is a insecure guy.Do you really love him to suffer so much??
I dont think he loves you.Get out of this situation as fast as you can.
2007-01-10 04:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
..some people get abusive in their relationships, just because the abused one allows his conduct. Put your limits ore leave.
2007-01-10 04:38:20 · answer #8 · answered by robertonereo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check this out and answer each question hoestly, you'll be blown away by how wrong he is to do any one this, and he neeeds to be alerted to how dangerously close he is to being physically abusive www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence
2007-01-10 03:53:47 · answer #9 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is the one that need a therapist.
2007-01-10 03:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋