Help! How do I chose god parents for my daughter without hurting anyones feelings?

Question

I am very close to my one sister and I think she thinks I'm going to ask her. Naturally, because I know it would kill her if I didn't, I am leaning towards asking her. However, she has a 4 year old and he hasn't been baptised yet so I don't feel she would take it seriously.
My husband and I don't attend chruch on a regular basis, but I still want my daughter to understand and beleive in god and heaven.

Anyway, I also think my sister in law wants us to ask her.

How do I chose between families without hurting anyones feelings?

Answer 1

ur not choosing between families, it is still one family. here what u should do. who do u think will have the most influence on ur childs life? who is more responsibile who can help her if she needs it? make a list and ask all the tough questions put the answers in onestly. dont worry about who gonna hurt the most. and then explain urself. if either one wont understand y its not them and the other then they werent fit to be god parents in the 1st place. if they get mad at u and dont talk to u they wil come around and realize that it was childish of them instead of being angry about not beinga god parentthey shpould involve them self in her life more so that she can love them more. "god parents" is just a label for now. the child is not gonna remember that shes gonna remember who it was that was playin with her and who was makin her happy.. good luck with whatever u do!

Answer 2

Choose the person you feel will take the best care of your child. Whether there child is baptised or not. Whether they go to church or not has nothing to do with how much they will love your child. You can talk to your child about god when they are old enough and if they want to pursue believing in what you believe then thats great. You shouldnt choose a god parent on their religion but on how much they will love your child and give them a good place to live. Are they supportive? Secure? have good jobs?responsible? Trustworthy?These are the things you should be looking at. And if somebody feels hurt about your decition simply explain that you could only choose one family and why you chose that family. If they are good friends and people they will understand.

Answer 3

My husband and I had to sit down and look at who has the same values and beliefs that we do. I wanted to pick someone who would love my children, were financially able to care for them and would raise them in the same manner we are raising them. It was tough...he has two sisters, I have a sister and brother. We are close to all of them but we had to pick one. We chose my brother and his wife, who are very similar to us. We attend the same church, dicipline our children similarly and know each other's children extremely well. They are raising their children the way I want my children to be raised if I'm not here to do it myself. I then explained to everyone else (including grandparents) why we made the decision we did. I also explained that it doesn't mean we don't love them or think any less of them and they all took it really well. Just do what you feel is best for your child. Feelings may get hurt but if they love you they'll get over it and respect your decision.

Answer 4

It is your child. Do Not worry about feelings here. When I choose godparents, I pick the ones I would trust to raise my child. That is what it was for originally. I did however have the same problem and gave my baby's middle name with my sister's firstname. So both were happy. (To others: Religion is a matter of choice I agree, but how can a child choose when they are older if they have no experience of religion. No one should tell no one how to raise their child or choose THEIR child's religion.

Answer 5

Pray about it.. I would go with the one who has the best morals, values, priorities, etc.. And most of all the one who knows how to express their love, stable, has great communication skills... etc...Basically a person who's whole.. You can't help but hurt someones feelings... Just remember this is your daughter and you want the best for her... Tell them you are sorry that their feelings are hurt, you don't think any less of them, and that you have made your decision..

Answer 6

You need to stop feeling guilty. It's not about them, it's about what's best for your child.

I have named my brother and sister-in-law as my son's godparents. I am waiting on them to come home to baptize him.

My fiance's brother asked me a few days ago about godparents because he is my fiance's daughter's godfather and thinks he and hid girlfriend should be godparents. The fact is their relationship is always bumpy and they are always argueing. That is not the example I want for my son.

You need to understand that god parents are supposed to be able to stand in your place if need be, physically, financially, spiritually, etc.

On the other hand you can choose one set from either side and that way you hurt no one's feelings and you baby has options.

Answer 7

This isn't about honoring someone or people's feelings.

Think about the role of godparents. If you and your husband die, they're supposed to step in and make sure that your child gets that spiritual guidance. It isn't just a title, it's a solemn undertaking. You should pick whoever is best equipped to do that job, if it's necessary.

Anyone who throws a fit over that is betraying their own disqualification for the job.

Answer 8

Choosing Godparents is serious buisness, theses are the ppl who will raise ur child if anything happens. You cant worry about other ppl's feelings. You have to make the best choice for your child. You just tell the others you made this choice because it felt right . You can tell them they are all capable of this and you would love to choose them all but that u went with your heart on this one.

Answer 9

Don't cause division upon anyone.Make them both God parents.Your child is the concern here.As a matter of fact you all should celebrate the child.We have 3 couples that are God parents and my child gets to visit with them all.

Answer 10

hmm... well, why don't you ask her (your very close sister). I think it better tell her about this, and see what's her respond, she might accept it, maybe, or not. and if you think she will not take it seriously, you couldn't have choose her in the first place whether she is close to you or not. (it's your daughter anyway!). so the bottom line, put it into action and ask, if you don't, you may not know the result. also, respect others' option,whether they accpted it or not. if not, so be it, and move on. (maybe she will change her mind afterward, will she?)