She lies about everything, we went to the eye doctor and spent 2 hours there while doctors had to dialate her and find out what she could really see because she was lying about what she could see?
she wanted glasses? but didnt need them?
she lies about everything.. and when she is not lying she is manipulating someone.
Anyone dealing with this?
any advice?
Creative punishment?
2007-01-10 03:40:08 · 12 answers · asked by fighterace26 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I am not sure that punishment is your best bet in this case. There is definitely some emotional issues going on that are deeper than just a teen who is lying. I would take her to talk to a professional therapist to get to the root of the problem. She is doing all of this for attention. Maybe try spending a little more quality time doing something fun. Talk to her openly and honestly about her lying. Don't yell and get angry (although I can imagine that that is nearly impossible). Explain to her that you are worried about her and care about her. Take her to the professional and see what they say. This sounds like it goes a little beyond normal teen lying. Good luck.
2007-01-10 03:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by trevnme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with trevnme. Your daughter is lying to get attention. Has something happened that has caused the two of you to have less time to spend together? Is she lacking friends?
Whatever the reason, this is more a psycholigical problem than a child misbehaving. Talk with her. Explain to her how it makes you feel when she lies, and that you can't trust her. Ask her if something is bothering her. You will need to open the lines of communication with her. Try to be calm, understanding, and supportive, but be firm about your intolerance of dishonesty. She may deny it of course, so if the two of you can't work it out yourselves, seek professional help.
As for punishment, I do believe that inappropriate behaviour needs discipline. If she has a stereo, tv, cellphone, etc take it away for a while. I would "ground" her from having friends over or going to friends' homes to help the two of you have time with each other. Explain to her why you are handing out punishment. It is the result of her actions, not yours.
Best wishes to both of you.
2007-01-10 03:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a very good question i had a daughter just like yours.for me i could do any thing because if i punish her well it was more lies. so i decide to bring her and see a consular with her but now she has kids and she still lies.for me well liar is going to be always a liar.but one they she will want to say some thing and she wont lie and we will not believe her.so what can you do is accept her like she is cause it will drain you till the end or see a counsellor with her.it doesn't mean she is not a good daughter just keep talking with her and show her that you care that's what i deed,but nothing has change she is still a liar but i am her mother and mother except and love there kid until we die.good luck.maybe its only a stage in her life i hope for you.GOD love you i do.xo patience sorry.
2007-01-10 04:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by cilia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably going to need professional help. But in the meantime, call her out on it. Don't ask her, TELL her when you know she's lying. Don't allow her to control the conversation. Tell her she's lying, punish her (remove phone/ipod/whatever priveleges), but don't debate with her - you're the parent. If she thinks she can wriggle her way out with more lies, she'll keep doing it. Every lie she gets away with, reinforces her behavior.
I know friends like this from gradeschool, and they STILL do it. I think it comes from feeling inadequate - which we all do at that age - she's probably masking a lot of pain. If you can't afford a professional, talk with the school psychologist - they probably know some local resources.
2007-01-10 03:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by seweccentric 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids lie because they are feeling insecure, small, unnoticed, unportant or because they want attention...which seems to be the issue in your daughter's case. (Think about what happens when you go to the doctor...people pay attention to you and openly care about you and for you.)
It is common to feel that way when you are 12. Right before and during puberty, everyone feels insecure and unsure of themselves and they find different ways to cope.
Punishment may not be the best answer. Open the lines of communication (easier said than done!) to get an idea of what her life is like at school and when she is with you. You didn't mention if she had contact with her mother, but if she does, try to understand what her life is life with her.
The key is to listen closely to what she is telling you, or not telling you. Read between the lines and try to put yourself in her place. It might be a simple solution like spending more time together or letting her know in different ways how important she is to you.
2007-01-10 04:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by DannyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 12 you only do what you have learn ed I think some one is manipulating you and she Misses her dad and she knows that works take her out do an activity with her let her feel heard because she is living under some ones shadow next 2 you and that is not fun.
2007-01-10 03:51:12 · answer #6 · answered by other shoes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like my niece. She may be trying to fill some emotional need. Since your a single dad and 12 is such a hard age for a girl she may need some therapy
2007-01-10 03:48:26 · answer #7 · answered by puckbunny03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and ask her why and why she wants the things that shes wanting. if you get to her level then youll be able to understand her a little better or not at all.
2007-01-10 03:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by girlpower 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go on a date with ian stone thats a punashment
2007-01-10 04:48:02 · answer #9 · answered by buckeyes_fan10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit her down and have a long talk to her and than punish her
2007-01-10 05:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by LoVeR** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋