I'm 21, just started my 3rd year in college, and found out I am pregnant. I'd LOVE some advice, please:(

Question

I'm sorry I know there are a lot of questions already pertaining to the"I'm pregnant, help!" subject.

I took a pregnancy test yest. and it came out positive. I can't be more than about 3 weeks along. My boyfriend and I live together and as soon as I let him know he comforted me and let me know he is VERY supportive of us. My problem is that I, myself, am completely and utterly scared. I don't know what to do first. Do I make a doc appointment this early on or should I wait another week or so? I come from a eastern european family and I am dreading telling my grandparents. My mom had me young so I'm hoping she will be welcoming of this news. I feel like my life just started piecing itself back together and now I have done something to set myself back again. I know this is a blessing, but I am just trying to get through the initial shock. I still feel like a child myself, at times. Does anyone who became an unplanned young mother have any advice or suggestions? Thank you:)

Answer 1

I was 21 when I got pregnant too. I know how over-whelming it must be. I found out at 7 weeks, so I'm not sure how soon you make an appointment. I'm glad your bf is being supportive - that's important.

About school, many women do it. You can take night classes or maybe your campus has a daycare? It depends on the nursing situation. Nursing is a wonderful thing after you get over the first painful week.

I still feel like a child. It's weird. I'm 22 now, and I sometimes am in shock that I'm a mom. It wasn't my plan. I mean I was married, but only for 7 months and I was enjoying just being married. Now I look at my son and wouldn't trade him for the world. The first couple days after finding out I was preggos all I did was cry, cry, cry. It's prefectly normal. When you first hear the heartbeat you'll realize he/she is really in there. It's amazing. And they're all yours forever.

Oh, and if you are not already a sap, babies will make you one. I can't believe how many Full House episodes make me cry now lol*
Congrats and Good Luck!

Answer 2

I had just moved in with my boyfriend and became pregnant at 19. I was scared to death as well but for me abortion wasn't an option. I had considered whether or not to keep the baby but was not going to abort because I chose to not practice safe sex. After many conversations about the baby and becoming parents we decided to keep the baby and give it our all. Your first step is to go see a doctor and have a blood test done. Home tests are very acurate but you need to be certain. Your next step will be to think long and hard and decide what you want to do. You don't have a lot of time before your options slim down so you need to have many conversations with your boyfriend. Keep in mind your schooling, your boyfriend if he is college as well, and what is best for the baby. If you are like me and feel you should take responsibility for your actions and are not going to abort a baby that was not from a rape then you need to consider adoption if you are not prepared to give all of yourself to this child. That baby deserves the very best of you and your boyfriend or the very best of a family that wants a child. You also need to understand that having a baby is a wonderful thing. I hard a hard time with the sleeplessness and the worry but I have never laughed more in my life than I have since becoming a mom. I now have 2 sons ages 10 and 8 and I laugh every single day to the point of tears. They are amazing in that way. I could have the worse day ever and come home and my kids will do something and turn my whole mood around without even trying. They say things like your the best mom in the world, and while I know that teens will tell me how much they hate me, nothing will make me believe that and I am so proud of what I have done. They are smart, healthy, respectful, responsible, well mannered young men and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. I am sure you will make the choice that is best for all of you.
P.S. I am still married to their father and I still feel like a kid sometimes at 30 so don't worry about if you can do, think about if you want to. You can do anything you put your heart and soul into.

Answer 3

If your GYN does OB work, then call him/her and schedule to have a blood test done to confirm that you're pregnant. In the event that their results are positive, they will schedule you for your first OB appointment sometime around the 7 week mark. It's very important that throughout your pregnancy you receive adequate medical attention.

Unplanned pregnancies can be very scary, but keep in mind that if you made the mature decision to have sex, you knew that pregnancy was a possible consequence.

Would your grandparents feel better about the pregnancy if you and your boyfriend planned on getting married? Are you planning on getting married?

Know that there will be some people who think that you've made a huge "mistake" - but know that while your life will change by having a baby, it doesn't have to change for the worse. Talk to your mom, hopefully she'll be supportive and will help you tell your grandparents.

Your doctor may also be able to recommend a therapist for you to see for the anxiety you may be experiencing now. The more people you have to remind you that it'll all right okay, the better.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I was 18 and in my first semester of college when I found out I was pregnant. It was a very scary thing for me in the beginning because I wasn't sure how anyone was going to take the news. However, in my experience and in the experience of a lot of other people, it's best to tell your parents at least early on. If you keep it from them, I think they're more likely to be upset than if you tell them early. You're an adult, so the worst they can be is disappointed, but I understand disappointment is sometimes the worst punishment. I felt that way too.

Also, get yourself scheduled to see an OB as soon as possible. The earlier you get prenatal care, the better chances your baby will have to make it healthy to full term. Some OB's will not take you until you reach a certain point in your pregnancy but a lot of doctors like to see you right away to confirm your pregnancy and come up with an EDD (estimated due date).

If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me. I've gone through almost 3 full years of college as a mommy now and it's never easy, but trust me -- it's rewarding. :) Best of luck!

Answer 5

My first pregnancy was completely unplanned. I was also 21 and in my 3rd year of college and immediately did not know what to say to my family. My dad was always so proud of me for doing well in school - how was I supposed to tell him that I was pregnant? I broke down and did it though. His first question was "Are you going to finish school??". Of course I said yes, and I did it. While I was pregnant I took 2 courses, delivered my son over Christmas break (that was luck) and continued 2 courses for one more semester after my son was born. Then I went back full-time and finally graduated. It was very hard having a newborn and trying to do homework - it takes a lot of support from your family/friends/spouse. But, it can be done.

Call your doctor to schedule your first doctors appointment. They will probably schedule it when you'll be 6-8 weeks along.

Stick with it and good luck.

Answer 6

First, congratulations. Second, yes you should make a doctors appointment now. Third, I was young when I had my first child and the father was not supportive, so that is one thing you have going for you. Being scared is completely normal and I think it would be abnormal if you were not scared. The only advice I can give you is to stay in school and get your degree, and to just relax, and look at the positive side of things...a beautiful new baby that you will love forever.

Answer 7

OB/GYN's usually don't see a patient until about 8 weeks along. First off..you have to make some decisions. Can you finish school with a child? Can you afford a child? From the time you start pre-natal care until the first birthday, it will cost you roughly $20,000 just that 1st year. Decide if this is the best thing for you ASAP and then determine if what you can offer would be in the best interest of a child.

Answer 8

There is not a formula to life. Your scared & that is understandable, but everything is going to be ok. It's okay to still feel like a child sometimes, that is normal. I'm glad your boyfriend is being supportive. Keep talking to him, it will help. Let him know your scared. Congratulations!! & good luck.

Answer 9

I did back in november of 95 i was told i was sterile then i met my now husband in dec same year we were pregnant by february. We had the baby & then another daughter 16 months later hang in there it is not so bad its just a little on the oops side.

Answer 10

It is normal to be scared. Make a doctors appointment right away though. Sooner you get started on the pre natal vitamins the better.