What can I do about my Dad? He is the biggest control freak going. He never lets my Mum come from Sheffield to visit me in Leeds, even though they visit my sister all the time. They hardley ever visit me - if ever. I'm due to have an operation soon. My boyfriend may not be able to get time off work to care for me, so I need my parents. My mum wants to look after me, but he won't let her come near my house and I says now I've moved out I'm not allowed to stay there even for a visit. Me amd mom get on great and I really need her, but she hasn't got the guts to stop my dad holding her prisoner. She isn't even allowed to go out without him - with her mates and stuff. What can I do? I tried to tell him he was being manipulative and selfish, but he didn't care. My relatives have tried too, and got nowhere.
2007-01-10 03:19:24 · 8 answers · asked by TEE S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
a PARENT SHOULD ALWAYS be there for their children. But this time theres nothing YOU can do. It's YOUR MOM who has to stand up to him and say I AM GOING TO BE WITH MY CHILD.
She has to be the one to take a stand here hun, it's not up to you to do it for her. I think as a mother she will do right by you in the end. p.s. your dad seems to be an ***
2007-01-10 03:43:08 · answer #1 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe your father has a problem and he needs help you need to talk to both parents at the same time with some help of a professional or some of the law, because this can get very dangerous if one day your mother dose decide to walk out on him, and I don't think he'll take that very likely.
So for the safety of you and your mother I do believe you are going to need a lot of help if you plan to take on your father, who I most surely believe that is wrong for what he is doing to you and your mother.
Have you asked your sister to talk to him, if not then you should give her a call and ask her to talk to your father just maybe that might work if not then do what I said in the beginning.
2007-01-10 11:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by jessicamarie_wilson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
poor you, sometimes I feel like if I let my husband carry on getting his own way one day my son will be going through what your going through now.
Its hard to put your foot down and just say get lost after you have spent such a long time doing as your told.
I hope your mum finds the strength to tell him where to go and at the end of the day you dad would not do anything about it because he needs her more than she needs him that is obvious by his insecurity in not letting her go anywhere, I bet if she really wanted to she could put the boot right on the other foot and he would do exactly what she says all she has to do is be strong, I know that my self too I just havent got to that point of losing it yet.
Tell her she deserves a life and he cant hold her back anymore, life just aint long enough good luck xx
2007-01-10 11:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there is more to this than you are telling us. There is obviously some tension between you and your father and your mum is being caught in the middle. Have you tried talking to your dad to find out what the problem is or have you met your mum away from their home if there is a problem visiting. You have to keep trying and hopefully it will get better. If they speak to your sister why not use her as a go-between
2007-01-10 11:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bagpuss 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The man sounds totally unreasonable,what ever you did for him to be so antagonistic towards you,still wont warrant his despicable behaviour,I thought a parents love is meant to be unconditional. Your mum needs to stand up to him this time though,you need the help for the op.Show him all these replys,see if he has any shame ,he needs to grow up and put his priority's in order.As a mother, my children come first ,whatever they did.If he doesn't come round, I would get on with your life without giving him a second thought,a love like that you wont miss,because you your mum and us know you deserve better.
2007-01-10 11:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by suze 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that your dad does probably sense the first time they got together and it wont change now you need to try to get closer to your dad with out talking about the situation with your mother try to get to him as father and doter relationship and in your one way showing him how important it would be to have both of them beside you at this complicated time you going trow and as a father he probably will help is little girl.Good luck
2007-01-10 11:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is the person married to your father. If that relationship is not working, that must be her decision, not based on the perceptions of someone outside the relationship but based on her experience and feelings. If she is not happy, she will do something about it when she feels she is ready but when you are talking to her about how manipulative he is, you are just re-inforcing the negative self image he has established for her. If you are correct in what you say, then her self image must be low and her confidence must be low for this to continue. Your comments may only appear as even more criticism. Take it easy on her. I understand you feel you need her but please don't put her under more pressure. It sounds like she has enough already.
2007-01-10 11:26:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say this but, with ctrl-freaks, this may come out to a violent or hurtful standoff. Good luck.
2007-01-10 11:24:13 · answer #8 · answered by dancing_with_patience 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋