If I'm supposed to host the bridal shower for my best friend's wedding, should I ask the bride for a guest list or figure it out on my own and ask the family etc to help figure out the list (she's my college friend but we havent even lived in the same country for the past years so I dont know well enough on my own)
2007-01-10 03:17:29 · 15 answers · asked by chigaimasu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ask the bride for a guest list.
2007-01-10 03:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by valerie_lynn82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to be harsh, but this is wrong in many ways. A shower is composed of group of people who spontaneously wish to give the bride a little get together and some gifts -- not of people who have expressed no interest in giving a gift (or an extra gift) and are "mined" from the wedding guest list or other contacts lists and solicited for gifts. It is incorrect to give a shower for a member (or soon to be member) of your own family. To invite people to such a shower is effectively saying "Someone in our family is getting married and we are too cheap to provide the items they need to start married life, so we expect you to do it for us." Relatives can HELP the host of shower by doing all the work and paying all the bills, but should not be hosting or planning the event. You are correct that "Hey, bring my son's new wife a present" is not the appropriate way to meet your FMIL's social circle. You and your mom have the right idea that that it would be fun and gracious to give a party "for the girls" but you need to have a Bridal Tea or a Bridal Luncheon or a Pizza Feast or some other sort of party where gift giving is not part of the affair. Then you would be kind to invite your FMIL's friends, rather than greedy. Please no hate mail. If your family chooses to socially blackmail unwilling people into giving a gift they would not have otherwise given, your family is free to make that choice. But "we always do it that way" doesn't make it correct or mannerly.
2016-05-23 04:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You defanatley want to get the guest list from the bride. Im sure she knows your throwing her the shower anyways so its not a big deal if she knows whos going. She may want it to be just real close close friends or maybe more than that..... or somebody You or Family wouldnt think of, or she might want it to be a small shower or even a big shower. Me personally would want to make the list up make sure you guys wouldnt leave someone out and make sure you have the correct phone number and address ya know. Well good luck i hope i helped.
2007-01-10 06:22:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ambersgettingmarried 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be the one to host it. Ideally, someone in the town where she lives, or the town where the wedding will be, will host the shower.
All of the bridesmaids can host as well. DO NOT pay for all of the expenses on your own unless you want to. It is perfectly acceptible for you to make the others chip in. And sometimes the moms really want to plan it but not have their names on the invitations.
Have her give you a guest list. The fact that she's going to have a shower isn't a surprise to her, so there's no harm in her telling you who she wants there.
2007-01-10 05:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the bride for a guest list, because if you try and figure it out on your own...and you miss someone then that might cause a problem....or if you invite someone that the bride didn't really want there....that could be a problem too...
2007-01-10 09:25:04 · answer #5 · answered by Tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your supposed to ask the bride for the guest list, it could take you years to figure out who she is going to want there.
2007-01-10 03:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by Ginny D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely ask the bride or speak with her family for the guest list, so you know who to invite. It's not like she doesn't know she's getting one, just surprise her by her not knowing the day & where it will be.
2007-01-10 03:26:20 · answer #7 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definetly ask the bride for a guest list. I am making sure that my mom, maid of honor, matron of honor, and bridesmaids will be getting a copy of my guest list. The lists are definetly helpful. I hope that I helped you out.
2007-01-10 03:38:49 · answer #8 · answered by Charlotte H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means, ask for a guest list. It is the best way to prevent awkward moments. You would hate to accidentally overlook anyone, or invite someone to the shower that wasn't invited to the wedding.
2007-01-10 03:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by wnk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask the bride for a guest list. Even if you ask her family, they may not know about co-workers that she would like to invite; or even, in-laws to be that she has to invite.
2007-01-10 06:01:16 · answer #10 · answered by moon_gurl_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋