They don't get along but they have ties through a few things they owned together. She calls all the time complaining about this that and the other thing. I keep quiet, but it is very frustrating and is effecting our relationship togehter. How do I deal with this?
2007-01-10 02:54:23 · 28 answers · asked by misscongeniality711 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to her with the same attitude that you answered my question and she should get the idea!
2007-01-10 03:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kimi K 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Actually, you won't want to hear this, but you are the one who should back off. Never, and I say never, enter a relationship where the ex is somehow still linked to your mate's present. No matter how indirect of a matter (like owning stuff) they are still involved, it's just on another level. Only date people who's ex is someone well in the past and with whom they do not converse. It's just a bad scene. Even though they are split-her talking and complaining means she feels close to him, otherwise she would be more tactful. And I'm sure, although he doesn't say it, that closeness rings through his mind everytime her hears her-regardless of who broke up with who for what reason. Maybe step back, take some time until they are totally cut out of each other's lives-staying will just make it harder on you. This point is already presenting itself for the very fact that you posted this question. Good luck to you!
2007-01-10 03:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. Unfortunately, there is not a lot you can personally do to stop this from happening. It is HIS responsibility to handle this situation. You need to have a talk with your boyfriend. Explain to him how this is affecting your relationship. Explain to him how it makes you feel dealing with this. Then tell him he needs to do something about it... but do so in a constructive way. Explain that you understand the situation, what with the things they own together, but this situation is not going to work. It is his ex, and you do not want to interfere, but her calling all the time is NOT a normal way to have a relationship with an ex. So he needs to deal with the problem right away. If he is not willing to do so, then I would be suspicious. You may need to re-evaluate your relationship. Hopefully it will not come to that! Good luck! This kind of situation can be really stressful, and it is not your fault. I hope it works out for you.
2007-01-10 03:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
give your bf a time frame to get the issues resolved. I'm sure during this time, her every call will hurt you emotionally, but I think that's the way to go if you want to start something with this guy. Trust him to make the correct decisions. Let him know you are concerned, but also let him know you care enough to understand his need to resolve this loose end. Make sure you don't push him. I'm sure this is easier said than done. Most important thing is to communicate to him and let him know your true feelings. If he's a good guy, he will know to clean things up quick. Good Luck with everything.
2007-01-10 03:02:01 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not really up to you to get rid of her. It sounds like she is making any excuse to keep in contact with him. And it sounds like he isn't putting his foot down about it!
If it gets to the point where it is making you miserable, then its time for you and he to have a talk. At that point, he would need to be the one to cut all ties with her in order for your relationship to move on.
2007-01-10 10:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do something with the phone to mess it up on occasion, then start finding things to do together that he just loves that would take his full attention away from the skanky ex.
P.S. If that doesn't work, get drastic and start ignoring him after she calls.
2007-01-10 03:08:56 · answer #6 · answered by ~dreamvette~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm having the same issue.
I know it's frustrating and infuriating, but he is the one that is going to have to do something about it. No matter how much you complain (which also initiates problems) there is nothing that you can do. It's up to them to resolve their issues.
2007-01-10 03:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just start handling the communications - if he minds than you have a problem. Don't be the B-itch - be nice and polite and tell her that you are taking care of things from now on. Chances are that she will stop calling!
2007-01-10 02:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by jennw33 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, why dont you see if they can settle the things that they own together. weather or not that means selling what ever they own together or what not and just tell her to back off that he is your man now.
2007-01-10 03:03:47 · answer #9 · answered by Kris 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him how upsetting this is for you. He needs to break his ties with her-even if that means selling their properties or whatever. If they no longer own anytihng jointly, HE needs to tell her to stop calling-she is not welcomed. If he loves you, he will do it.
2007-01-10 03:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him in the same shoes as you are. Tell him one of the boys from your old class in school asked you to have lunch with him, or something.
2007-01-10 03:03:06 · answer #11 · answered by Kalistrat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋