can't get there anymore alone or with hubbby. Whats wrong with me? sex used to be so explosive. He is being understanding but is starting to think it's because of him, it's not him at all it's me I just can't let go anymore. everything is great up to a point but then the feeling fades and wont come back.
2007-01-10 02:51:22 · 26 answers · asked by Smoochy Poochy 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stress won't help either of you.
2007-01-10 02:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Gilligan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some reasons? Grab a pot of coffee and think about it. This could be long. There are MANY reasons I'm certain. So, I would begin by saying that thinking about it over and over is not helping any. I would suggest a visit to the MD first of all to rule out any physical causes (blood pressure, diabetes, etc.). Once you've cleared that hurdle and if all checks out ok, talk to a therapist. Thinking about this (i.e obsessing) is going to cause problems in getting back on track - no doubt there. So, assuming everything is physically ok, why not envision a getaway - nothing needs to be exotic - to an unfamiliar place (hotel, cottage etc.) where the surroundings are different and where you might feel a little more adventurous and excited. Given that all this orgasm thing is only part of the bigger picture anyway, sexual pleasure is dependant upon the mind's eye. Let go. Don't let anything get in the way. Don't necessarily think about the big "O", think of the pleasure that ou're getting while your getting it. The rest should take care of itself. Good luck !
2007-01-10 03:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by slowhand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a very personal thing & perhaps best dealt with by the girls, but it's hard to keep things fresh when you are in a long term relationship. Also pressures from work / outside environment/ money issues - esp. after Xmas - lots of things on your mind - is it going to be a good year/ bad year etc all stop you from releasing/letting go. Things can get routine and you can try the whole dressing up/role play S&M swinging malakie if you think it will float your boat - but much of what's going on is inside your head and if you feel positive and excited about being together in the sack.
Things worked well for my relationship when I'd been working away for a week & we then had some excitment to be home together at the w/end and new stuff to talk about n catch up.
Without getting too personal try some "toys" n see if you can get yourself off. As it could be the tension things above outside your personal relationship that are blocking you - at least you'll have an idea if it's a "us" thing, but you would have to feel completly cool about it for anything to "work".
Not going to get into personal experience/ethics but "some people" say a nice spliff at bed time works wonders to get them in the zone.....
Good Luck
2007-01-10 03:13:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I experienced the same issue with my wife. We found that a big problem was with birth control. If your taking birth control it will greatly reduce your sex drive especially over time. A few years ago when we decided to have another baby and she got off the pill after about 2 months off it she started being more interested in sex and by the 4th month she was waiting for me to get home to have sex for a change. After the baby was born and she got back on the pill about 2 months it started dropping again till it was back where we were before.
2007-01-10 02:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be in a vicious circle of pinging about reaching it, which distracts you from being able to get there.
It may be a good idea to check with your doctor and see if a pharmaceutical solution is out there. Cialis, etc., perhaps?
One personal reason that I have trouble reaching it that I'm unaware of anyone within 1000 miles who wants to assist. Sigh.
2007-01-10 02:55:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately passion 'fades' with time. I would suggest fantasising about another time or maybe another person with who you've had sex.
Read a book like 'How to make love to the same person for the rest of your life' ex library maybe. Has all sorts of ideas on how to spice things up.
2007-01-10 03:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by hugbobs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get their on your own, that's the problem. Could be many reasons, but its most likely psychological. Think through what has changed since sex went from good to bad. You should be able to identify the root cause.
2007-01-10 03:35:37 · answer #7 · answered by Resident Genius 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words- Anne summers.
Once you get a little something from there, and find that actually you are not broken, you will be able to relax and meet and greet the big O. You can even let your man play with it with you too!
2007-01-10 02:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Female orgasms are 95% in the mind, so maybe you are bored or just got used to what he does. Also if you are expecting it to not-happen, it won't because of all the stress. You need to talk to him sensitively about this and work from stage one all over again to put that spark back and get you screaming again!
Good luck!
2007-01-10 02:56:33 · answer #9 · answered by voodoobluesman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you started any new meds lately? If so, check the side effects, many anti-depressants cause these feelings. Also, it may be completely emotional. Possible not wanting to lose that feeling of control....feeling guilty about something...overtired...resentful...etc.
Just relax and focus if you have to...heck, fantasize - that always works ;-)
2007-01-10 02:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by jennw33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe u have fallen into a routine. u gotta try new and interesting things. buy sexy outfits, set the mood, maybe even go a few days without sex so it makes u want him more at the end of the week. just try new stuff.
2007-01-10 02:56:29 · answer #11 · answered by oc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋