Do I do what I think is the right thing, Or is it wrong?

Question

OK guys I'm really stuck with this...
My mum has 10 brothers and sisters. She lost contact with all of them. In July 2005, my Mum SAYS she had a phone call claiming the oldest sister was dead. The one she was most close too. It was the icing on the cake for her and she had a breakdown. I went looking for the family recently and my found my Aunt who is well and truly alive in the USA!!!!
Do I tell my mum or let sleeping dogs lie??
I have had contact with this Aunt through someone else and she's horrified that my mum has told her family that she's dead. My mum's not a *****, she loved her sister dearly I can't see areason why she would say this unless she throughly believed it. What should I do?

Answer 1

someone else told your mum that her sis died so why is she being blamed for it? unless your mum mde it up....you need to find out who told your mum if this is true, then get onto the aunt and tell her that this is a misunderstanding and is NOT your mums fault...none of her family have bothered to contact her, which is so not right....you can tell your mum that you have been intouch with the sister she thought had died and tell her that everything is ok...maybe she did have a phone call, find out who called her...if she didn't then your mum needs some help, seems like her depression may get worse...people do these things for a reason...maybe attention, i had a family member say that me and my whole family were killed in a car crash recently...bit sick but the person who said it needs to see someone who can help them

Answer 2

It might be a tough time for you and your mum - but you GOT to tell her! I would be horrified to think that i lost touch with any member of my family or friends, thought they were dead and then was told years later that they weren't. It does also come down to why she lost contact with them - was it through something she did, they did, or just the way things worked? It would be such a good way to remake that contact - a call/email/letter saying "You won't believe this but I had heard that (you/they) were dead..........." Does your mum want that contact back/is she saying anything about missing it?

Answer 3

Mate families are complicated enough without all the b*lls**t! Best line of defense is attack. Get to the truth - clear the air. It will be good for everyone. Your poor mother actually believes that her sister is dead for crying out loud and you can fix it! If you lay down with sleeping dogs you may end up with fleas!

Answer 4

Talk to your mum tell her your findings. Maybe she was just going through a tough time maybe someone did inform her her sister was no longer alive maybe this will be fantastic news to her and maybe it won't the only thing you can do is talk to her and be there good luck x

Answer 5

You need to tell your mum the truth. This is something that should not be kept from her. She obviously didn't make up the fact that her sister died - I can't imagine why she would. If she did make it up, I think she needs confronting. But yes, you definitely need to tell her!

Answer 6

try 2 find out who phone call was from before thinking of approaching mum then find out what rest of family say good luck and best wishes for your mum

Answer 7

UGH, Why haven't you told her already. Misunderstanding is easy to chalk up. Grieving is a process and obviously your MUM doesn't even need to go through that.

Answer 8

Speak to your Aunt and ask her if it's ok to tell her! She may want to get back in contact. All the best in what you decide.

Answer 9

You should say something and be your mum's hero. Wouldn't you want to know?

Do the right thing and tell her you've contact. You know it makes sense.

Answer 10

Tell your mum the truth. Its important she knows