What are the best one line insults and put downs?

Question

Some of my favoruites...

-I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
-I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
-Is that your face or did your neck just puke?
-Nice hairdo, when's it being finished?
-You are about as deep as your reflection in a mirror.
-You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you
-Has your carer got the night off?
-You're riding the crest of a slump?
-When your IQ gets to 50 you should sell
-You should not be allowed to breed
-You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot
-Your so dense, light must bend around you
-You smell nice, did you run here?
-And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
-Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
-If I throw a stick, will you leave?
-I'm already visualising the duct tape across your mouth
-I'm not being rude, you're just insignificant

Any other classic put downs?

Answer 1

I'd call you a w*nker but I'm sure your hand would be sickened at the thought.

To the statement "it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile" the reply should be "it takes more muscles to point that out that not to d*ckhead"

Answer 2

One Line Insults

Answer 3

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
I thought of you all day today.I was at the zoo.
I would like to insult you,but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.
Have you considered suing you brains for non-support?
You have a good weapon against muggers-Your face.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
You are overdue for reincarnation.
It's hard to believe you beat 1 million other sperm.
As an outsider what do you think of the human race?
You are a haemorrhoid on the *** of the world.
You've got your head so far up your *** you could chew your food twice.
They say opposites attract.I hope you find someone good looking and intelligent who doesn't smell.
Please breathe the other way.You're bleaching my hair.
Are you the first in your family to be born without a tail?
Are you always so stupid,or is today a special occasion?

Answer 4

If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.

If I wanted to hear from an ***, I'd fart.

You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.

Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.

You should need a license to be that ugly.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.

Answer 5

Your brain is so small they could put it in the bellybutton of a Barbie doll and still have room left over for three Raisinettes and a list of your accomplishments.

Answer 6

can you send me your pic so i can post it on mingers.com
when your mother abandoned you on the church steps for being an ugly f***er the vicar thought you was a gargoyle that had fallen off the church this put downs are copy righted so do not use lol

Answer 7

**** you! That's why you mother is a dirty whore and I banged her last night you skanky *****! But if its a guy, I'd say the same thing, but instead of saying skanky *****, I'd say ugly ********. It's hard for me to say without laughing, considering I'm not gay.

Answer 8

are you as thick as your ankles?

shut your mouth there's a train coming

To the question 'what are you looking at' duno the lables fallen off.

Answer 9

Aaah, I see I should have trusted the initial misconception I had about you or, after a first date Thanks, I've had a lovely night, but this wasn't it!

Answer 10

the best part of you bribbled down your mothers leg.