Need help with a break up: My gf of 2 years said she needed space on the 1st, she said that she wants to ...
continue to date me, but doesn't want to say if we are still together or broken up when I ask her directly. She said she wants to limit communications and only go out once a week and see where it goes. She told me she is not sure what she wants. Yet she told her best friend that we were still together just taking things slow, starting over. If that is the case why won't she tell me that? What does she really want? How do I get her back? Do I go on dates with her or should I ignore her and hope she comes around?
2007-01-10 01:45:47 · 10 answers · asked by Tunasandwich 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just try to do what she wants for right now dont push her though i think if you just completely ignored her she might get the feeling like ok thats it thats how you feel about it ya know and since she is already unsure then that might be the wrong way to go about it um you both just need to take some time to evaluate the relationship and if you want to save it dont push her go on dates like she says cuz maybe thats what she wants more of like maybe you never went on dates
2007-01-10 01:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think in every relationship the principle of "holding loosely" is applicable and works well! When you hold too tight, the person will likely to run away, bcoz she/he needs some breathing space. But if you hold on too loosely, he/she will go away also. It's the art of holding on, but with some trust, give each other a space.
I think she wants some space. Why don't you give her some space, giver her the CHANCE TO MISS YOU. I guess this is what she meant by meeting once a week. Just be friend with her, and i think it's okay to be friend with other woman also (open the door for others, but don't flirt too much with too many woman, or else she thinks you don't want her anymore).
That's my 2 cents :)
Good luck!
2007-01-10 01:54:26 · answer #2 · answered by questioning 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably keeping you on the back burner as a back up, while looking to get back into circulation. Don't let her tag you along as her "plan B". Tell her that if you're going to change the dynamics of the relationship that you'd like some say in it. Suggest that you both see others while you're "slowing down". If she loved you she wouldn't feel this way and in the mean while you may find someone who'll love you the way you deserve to be loved.
The only exception to what I just suggested is this scenario: If you're younger than your mid twenties and you were looking to move the relationship into intimacy and she wanted to slow it down for that reason, then you're dealing with a girl with a lot of integrity and love for you as well as for herself. If this is her reason, then hold on to her with dear life, because girls like that are one in a million. If this is not the case, then she's playing you, and you should quit before you're fired.
2007-01-10 01:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by TJTB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to bring it up to her and tell her you need to know what is on her mind. Also that she doesn't need to tell other people one story and you another. IF she is that confused do you really want to wait around? You have to think about it. If I were you and someone told me they wanted to limit communications etc. there has to be a reason. Were you too overbearing? If not , then I would tell her you should break up for awhile , see other people and if it was meant to be you will find your way back to each other. I know it sounds harsh but if she's confused now, what will it be like later? Good luck!
2007-01-10 01:55:24 · answer #4 · answered by winter715 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're best bet is to ignore her until she comes around. Until then you've got to face up to the fact that she might and she might not and be ok with that. Ignore might not be the right word but make it understood to her that you ARE NOT going to date her until it's exclusive. By dating her in her noncommital fashion you are only doing yourself harm by continuing to see her and care about her in a way she is not returning. If this falls through it would only cause more hurt to you. It's just not fair for you to be jerked around by her unsureness when it sounds like she may be trying to keep herself open to other possibilities while at the same time hold on to you, as a "just in case". In my opinion NO ONE deserves to be a "just in case".
2007-01-10 01:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by kestrelk8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is not ready for a long-term committment. You can wait around for her if you want, or you can put her foot down and make her make a decision, but in doing this you might lose her. Make a comment to her about how if she doesn't want to be with you, you'll just have to start dating other people. This will get her to make a decision fairly quickly.
2007-01-10 01:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants. Depending on how old you are and her dating experience, she may feel like she's missing out on something. Some men and women play games and you know your girl better than me so if she's into games that may work short-term but not likely long-term. I would be straight up and honest. Respect her wishes until you can't anymore. Then move on and find someone who cares for you the same way you do for them.
2007-01-10 01:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by NYGirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of if a guy feels uncomfortable around a female via fact she's smarter than him or extremely clever and fairly then consistent with danger he's insecure approximately himself . i inspect it from a distinctive viewpoint . i think of a guy ought to relish the employer of a superb and fairly female . a guy must be grateful for the possibility considering which you will never understand if this style of project will take place returned . additionally, a guy ought to inspect the placement in a fashion that possibly being around a clever female will help the guy become a bigger guy or smarter guy .
2016-12-12 08:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by girardot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds a bit bored to me...just give it time and take things slowely as she wants after all it's normal to get bored after 2 years but if u hang on there i think you two will pass through this ...
2007-01-10 01:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be trying to get more attention by acting that way.
could be annoyed with you and trying to get away
could be sincerely needing time
any major trouble recently? death, marriage, birth, work problem? some thing eye opening that made her say wait a second this isn't how I envisioned my life at this point.
perhaps the best friend likes you and she wanted to make it clear you were not available.
2007-01-10 01:52:56 · answer #10 · answered by Laura B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋