i kno it will break my moms heart when i tell her that i want to move out and me moving out isnt all her fault.. but i do want some freedom and room to breath n grow up, im 18 and i still have a bedtime...
2007-01-10 01:31:18 · 11 answers · asked by jam_e69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you still have a bedtime and you are 18, you need some space and freedom. Your parents could cripple you with Smother Love IF you Let them. Don't hurt them or argue with them. You sound like a sweet person. Maybe you could start dropping little hints. But spread them out. Parents are very nervous and they worry.
Keep making little remarks, maybe once a week, that you wish you could find out if you could make it on your own. Maybe a more subtle hint than that even. But be cool!! Your parents are strict because they are afraid for you and your safety. They are afraid for themselves because you are the highlight of their lives. You can't let them make a slave out of you or use you to keep their relationship together though. There are soooo many things I wish I could talk to you about. Just read all your answers and take the suggestions to roll over in your mind. Always think about what would be easiest on ALL of you. Your Mother will get used to it someday when you are on your own. She's stronger than she thinks she is!! Good Luck Hon!! @8=)
2007-01-10 01:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is present to your mom as ready as possible. Save up enough money to be out on your own for one month, making sure you have a job. You need enough to move in to an apartment, (which is usually in the neighborhood of $700-$1000) groceries for the month, (maybe $100-150) you'll need a transportation plan, and you'll need a plan to furnish your place. I suggest taking your time and finding a positive way to cope with the possible rush/anxiety fellings you may be going through. Also, if your mom is somebody who would help you move on and prepare you for the next step in your life, ask her for some help. Otherwise, keep in mind that you're 18 now...you really don't need her approval for this matter. You definately need to be as ready as can get before you leave your mom's house, without using or abusing this situation, use it to your advantage.
2007-01-10 09:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Hazy l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must admit that being 18 and having a bed time is a uncalled for but,talk to her on a neutral ground like a restaurant where you can't raise your voices unless you want to be looked at funny...
Tell her you love her very much and always will but,it's to go out there and try to support yourself but,with her emotional support.
Sometimes parents can be a little over protected but,it's because they love you,just reassure her that your not doing this out of spite and will still continue to talk to her daily on the phone and come for many visits.
Your mom may be a little afraid that when you go out on your own your going to forget about her....
2007-01-10 10:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by raventears56 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be prepared for a hard time. You are very young and hopefully you have a job making enough money to support yourself. Make a budget before you jump on this. Figure out your monthly pay and then your expenses. You'll also want to think about setting money aside every month for emergencies. Remember you move out, you're on your own. You can't think your parents are going to bail you out.
And if you think you can handle the rent, utilities, food, cable, and toiletries and other household items go for it.
Or maybe if you don't think you are relaly ready for it, sit down with your parents talk things out about your curfew.
2007-01-10 10:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't be easy for you as well as for your parent when you move out. First make sure you are financially stable and have a job before you plan to move out. "Out" is hard and stressful alone; you have to first strive hard to survive and then you will get used to it and be okay.
About telling your parent, i'm sure she is already expecting that any time soon, every grown up eventually leave to be independent. It won't be a surprise for her any more 'cause you're in legal age to be on your own; matter of fact she supposed to be happy that you even plan to stay independent. Some people grow up until 40 yrs and they never even thought about moving out and they are still dependent on their parents, so you're well trained.
However, moving with a boy is an exception, i have my reasons!
If you move out, move out and be independent, but don't move in with a loser boy thats going to ruin your focus. At the age of 18, moving with a boy's house is the beginning of destruction for your life unless you find a honest, truthful, and rich one that will be there for you always.
Good luck!!
2007-01-10 09:44:00 · answer #5 · answered by wowwow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a job, home, money, etc, then you can go and tell her and she will have no reason, other than she loves you, not to let you to go.
BUT if you dont have only one of the abovementioned then I suggest you stay with your mom until you do have these things. It's not as easy as you think.It's a crappy world out there. Are you ready for such a huge responsibility? Are you ready to give up most of your social life? Are you ready to go to work 8 to 9 hours a day and be serious about work?Ask yourself this and think about it.
2007-01-10 09:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by Jade22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
parents always get sad when they know that they children want to move out to live on their own. but on the other hand they already know that the time would come for it. and i am sure that deep down they actually proud and happy that their children is now independent. although they are sad but they are happy. they only sad because they won't get to see their children they way it always bee. they just miss all the things when they have the children around. you shouldn't be so worry about it.
but before you do, you must first think carefully whether you are ready to move out or not. i mean financially. if not then you just going to make problem with your parents, don't you think. and beside you need to show them that you are ready to live by yourself otherwise they going to be very worry about you.
so think it over then decide when you ready ya...!
good luck...!
2007-01-10 11:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by daniiisme!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you support your self?what about school?a bed time is unreasonable for a 18 yr old but a curfew isn't.if you are capable of supporting your self and can keep a job plus go to school and stay in school,then sit down and talk to her.just make sure your doing this for all the right reasons.
2007-01-10 10:14:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can afford to support yourself, you can move out if you want to. I assume you have a job and don't expect your parents to pay your way.
2007-01-10 14:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooooh!
thanks for your question!!
I'm living the same as you!!
I wanna move out too, but its because my bad relathionship with my parents...
please answer my question if you can..
good luck!
xxx
2007-01-10 10:15:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋