Needing some advice.Any would be greatly appreciated.?

Question

I am what some people would call an "overprotective mother" I do not deny it at all. I wont let my kids go to slumber parties. Instead I let them have slumber parties at our house. I wont let them go on field trips unless I accompany them. I do not let them ride a bus to school. I take them. When they are at their dads,I am constantly calling him to make sure he does not let them go outside unless he is right there with them. My children are 12,10,and 8. The oldest 2 are girls and they constantly are telling me to let them do some things without me around all the time. I have gotten all 3 of my kids cell phones to call in case of any kind of emergency. I know they are too young for them but if they are not at home ..I want to make sure I have a way to contact them.I am even worse now cause of the kid William Owenby that has just been kidnapped which is my worse fear. So my question is..is there anything I can let my kids do, without me, where I am not pacing the floors?

Answer 1

Honestly I feel like there should be more mothers like u because some parents dont care at all what their kids do and that's ridiculous but on that same note if u keep them from the outside world they wont have experience and u dont want to make the mistake and have them sneak out on u or keep secrets from u either. Try giving them a little space, allowing them to visit a friend for some hours(not overnight) until u feel comfortable because at the end of the day these are your kids and you need to protect them. The cell phone thing I feel is great u are doing the right thing in my eyes. i have two kids and I'm a very worried parent so I know how it is. Thw world is a scary place but u need to allow some room to live nad breathe. U probably will worry regardless but experiment and see how it goes and tell them if there any problems i"m stuck to u like glue for a while again until I get the courage to allow u free time without me again(lol). Good luck everything will be fine!

Answer 2

your gonna have to let them live a little, if you have an enclosed back yard, let them go out there and play alone, if you still find yourself pacing, buy a surveillance camera, this way you can keep an eye on them at the same time they feel some release from you. Take baby steps, don't forget to let then live a little. As far as slumber parties, if you know the family well, you should let them go. and as far as riding the bus.... this would be a good start for you to ease up a little... if it concerns you, just be sure you are there when they are picked up and there when they are dropped off.. Riding the bus is a time kids really enjoy, talking to their friends about their day and exercising their social skills. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You may seem a little bit overprotective, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's good to have moms who are actually caring about what is going on with their kids. I don't let my kids go outside without me and I make sure I know the people real well before I leave my kids with them. You have to do what is best for your kids. Don't drive yourself nuts though. You as a mother have a built in motherly instinct. Go by it! It won't fail you. I have a lot of sexual predators in my town and I guess I'm a little bit protective too. Don't send your kids somewhere or with someone you aren't sure about!

Answer 4

First let me say that i am also a mother of 3 girl's.You have a few issues here my dear.It is normal for a parent to have fear's for their children's well being and safety,but you cannot let your own fear's control you.What you are doing is very unhealthy both for yourself and for your children.There is nothing wrong with wanting to protect your children,but you have crossed the line of even being considered OVER-PROTECTIVE you have actually become OBSESSED with their safety and that will cause you and your children many problems.You have to start trusting your children to make decisions and the ages that they are believe me they know right from wrong and you are not allowing then to experience the simple thing's in life.You have to face the fact that thing's happen in life that we have NO control of no matter what we do.Stop trying to be a security guard and start enjoying being a mother.If you continue to try and control their every breath you will end up raising very scared and insecure human beings.Relax and enjoy your children and let them enjoy life..Good luck to you.

Answer 5

If you are doing this to win the "Mother Of The Year" award, you have already lost. The worst thing you can do is smother someone. If parents trust you to let their kids come to your home, why can't you trust your kids to go to theirs. You can't control, predict or direct life, what will happen, will happen. Let your kids enjoy being kids, they only get to do it once. What's to say that you are not preventing them from missing out on an opportunity of a lifetime? You should learn to breathe first and then maybe they can. I would seek therapy, there is probably something deeper going on within yourself. Trust me, you don't want your kids to grow up resenting you. When you get older, you are going to want them to come by and visit and they just may remember their childhood (yikes). Best of Luck to you! Breathe....

Answer 6

well we are all guilty at some point.your children should be able to play out side by them selves just peek out at them [ check up on them once in a while ] meet the other parents and let the kids go over night.you should try because if you don't you are going to have worse problems in the future they are going to rebel and have no clue on how to handle them selves in a situation .your 8 should be supervised 10 should be w/limits 12 needs limited supervision.please talk to a Dr.about anxiety.I'm not trying to judge you but,take baby steps and teach the kids to be independent so they can function in life.good luck

Answer 7

Why should they have to pay for your insecurity?
You are attempting to control the uncontrollable; outside influences. Exactly how would YOU be able to protect them if caught in a tornado? How about a flash flood? Struck by lightning? Hit by a speeding car? You can't! (Unless you keep them chained up in the closet - and even then, a tornado or flood would still get them!)
Your children have to learn self reliance; or do you plan to be with them when they get jobs; marry; start their own families?

Answer 8

right it truly is a few thing quick, low-priced and all of us will love. i do not go by way of measurement after I make this because it really is so easy and easy to degree by way of your self. go out and purchase some bags of chocolate chips, a jar or 2 (reckoning on how tremendous a jar) of peanut butter and some powdered sugar. and butter. double boil the chocolate chips (boil water in a larger pan, position a smaller pan with the chocolate chips interior that pan) even as the chocolate is melting, soften some butter in a frying pan and upload this and the powdered sugar to the peanut butter, knead it and make little balls the dimensions of those bouncy balls you get from 1 / 4 device. even as the chocolate is carefully melted, turn off the flame and utilising a fork or toothpick, dip each peanut butter ball into the chocolate and position on wax paper or foil. once they're all thoroughly coated they favor to be refidgerated so the chocolate can harden. so, there you go, some thing scrumptious with below 5 elements in contact.

Answer 9

You just need to develop faith that the world is not out to get your kids and isn't entirely hopeless.
There are some sick people out there, but the majority of society is not like that. Besides, everyone else is pretty busy because they are probably fixated on their own problems.
I can't possibly tell you how you should raise your kids, but I can tell you one essential item you need to have in good reserve: trust. Mix that with some common sense and you'll be fine.

Answer 10

If your worried about them getting kidnapped...that's a bit wacky. The story about Adam in the 80's took us all down this crazy path of fearng kidnappings, its a rare, rare event.


If you are worried about the negative influence the majority of other kids will have on your own...I'm with you. They will not be missing anything by your protecting them from the things they should be protected from.

Let them have the sleep overs...but in your house and do, do, do keep and eye on them.