Parenting -- what to do if your child throws things on the floor continually?

Question

For my 1 year old nephew, his mother (my aunt) tells me to just ignore him when he throws things on the floor, and keep picking it back up. Well, at one meal time, for example, he'll throw his spoon or cup on the floor 20 times, and although I want to respect her parental wishes, I'm positive that it's not right. I'm not even allowed to use the word "no," "don't do that" or "we don't throw things on the floor" in his presence! How crazy is that?! Anyway, shouldn't you say something like the 3 things I listed in the previous sentence and then if he continues to throw it, just take it away from him until he learns to act right? My point is, how is he expected to differentiate between what's a game and what's not if no one even tells him what's right or wrong (she's literally NOT ONCE even told him not to throw it). He's turning into a brat and his mother does everything to accomodate his every wish. Now that he's not napping, my aunt walks around carrying him until he falls asleep

Do you have any advice? Any sources (i.e. internet pages) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!!!!!!

Sorry, I've just gotten used to calling him my nephew because he's 17 years younger than I am. He IS technically my cousin though. lol

Answer 1

If your aunt doesn't do something about this now he is going to be a total brat and want everything when he's older. It's only going to get worse. He needs to be corrected, he's going to have to learn right from wrong. When he does that just tell to stop in a authorative voice and leave whatever he threw on the floor. Don't pick it up cause he's never going to learn. If you pick it up he's going to think that it's ok and keep doing it. If you just leave it there eventually he will figure out that throwing it isn't soing him any good so he will give up. I'm sure he's going to get upset and cry and scream but he'll get over it. It may take some time but if you keep it up he'll stop. If he doesn't listen the first few times he does it then slap his hand, not hard but this will help him realize what he is doing is wrong. Good luck!!

Answer 2

I have a seventeen month old baby. I am very well read and have a ton of books on raising children. There is nothing wrong with gently saying "no" to a one year old. How else will he learn? Many one year old children like to throw things down and it becomes a game when the adult returns the object back to him. Your best bet is to gently say no, pick the object up and PUT IT AWAY. If it is meal time and he has thrown his bottle, he probably is not ravenous anyway, so you should still put it away (you can give it back after a few minutes when he has forgotten this little game!)
Now that you know you were right, unfortunately, it's not your kid and you DO have to respect his Mom's wishes. There is nothing more likely to alienate you from your nephews life than to tell his mom that she is doing it all wrong.
That said, it's not like it's going to ruin his life, it will just take him longer to outgrow this phase. Grin and bear it..lol!

I just saw the comment that recommended slapping his hand. Not a good idea. One year olds don't need to learn through intimidation!

Answer 3

you're right. You have to say no. And you have to say it soon, and often. Not saying it, and then after a long while, suddenly reacting, would be very wrong. And you cannot let the child misbehave like this.

I have often noted that when the parents are weak (as seems to be the case here), and suddenly another person shows some authority, often the baby / child will then get to like that person a lot, because finally someone with a personality, appears.

Now just one question: if the baby's mother is your aunt, then the baby is your cousin, not your nephew. Or if he is your nephew, then his mother is your sister (or sister in law).


source: my 4 children. They don't throw things on the floor. If or when they did in the past, we'd immediately react and tell them not to. If they continued and throwed something they liked, then we'd just leave it on the floor and let them cry so that they'd learn to not play this game. We certainly would never have imagined to pick up the same thing 20 times in a row! ;-)

Answer 4

Suggest she do a Triple P course, it's a postive parenting course, because you are right she is being outrageous, but I can understand where she is coming from, alll we hear about these days is new studies into psychology for children and how much we are hurting them by saying no, but I think it is all BS and only breeding nations of brats. She needs help and something like Triple P can be very effective. And if she is on eof those mothers that is worried about doing or saying the wrong thing to her child then she might just go for triple p. So long as you introduce her to the idea in a non-threatening way, you know like have you heard of Triple P? It's a really great program for parents.

Answer 5

My 9 mo. old often does similar things. I agree with not paying attention to it, particularly when it is clearly an attention seeking behavior. For instance my son often does it with his bottle or his sippy cup when I leave him in the high chair and am busy with something else. He wants my attention, so he throws his cup. I usually pick it up once and say "No Throwing". (i think it is better to keep it short and sweet, no kid tunes in for long explanations even if they are 3 or 4) If he throws it again, he is all done and it gets taken away. I think there should be a consequence to the throwing, like being all done, but if you make a big deal about it by telling him what he should do or if you say nothing but keep going over and picking it up, he is still getting what he wants. Lots of attention.

Answer 6

you've waited too lengthy to make this an hassle-free transition. regrettably, you're on the point now the position think ofyou've got to in consumer-friendly words close the door, sit down in yet another room, grip the handles of the chair, grind your tooth, cry quietly, and allow her scream herself to sleep for some nights. you may pick to reassure her each quarter-hour or so in spite of the undeniable fact that it appears like you've given in anytime contained in the previous so she is going to anticipate you to buckle. do not supply IN! you're the figure and being the figure isn't hassle-free. Reassure her and then go away the room and resume crying interior the front room. on account that she is older and is acquainted with triumphing this conflict, you'll probable could flow by way of this for a week or more effective, yet childrens are fairly cluey and he or she will be able to figure it out fairly quick. some options: continuously tell her that it really is time for napping and also you've were given to flow now, that you're going to work out her contained in the morning, that you adore her, and that if some thing is incorrect you and Daddy will be accurate there. those are reassurances that you're literally not leaving continually and that if she extremely needs Mommy and Daddy they're in consumer-friendly words a shout away. good success!

Answer 7

Well unfortunately there isn't much that you can do. More then likely if you try to talk to your aunt she'll just get mad at you for telling her how to parent her child. But your right what she's doing is in no way helping her son. When he throws things he needs to be told NO! With my daughter if she throw it once she got her hand smacked (not real hard just enough so she knew what she did was wrong) then if she did it again she lost what ever it was until she would behave herself. Kid's need discipline! If they don't have consequences to their action's they will grow up thinking they can do what ever they want. Your Aunt will realize how she's messed up when her son starts kindergarten and she has to go to the school and get him because of his behavior. Good Luck if you do try to talk to her I hope you can get thou to her before it get alot harder to correct the mistakes.

Answer 8

There is nothing you can do until his mother realizes she is in the wrong and believe me she will as he gets older there is really not much you can do about it.
I have a sister that acted the same way with my nephew and until my mom and I got a video camera and taped they whole thing and she sit and watch it did she realize she was even letting him by with everything. Until people see it for their self you are not even heard but when you have evidence to support what you are saying do they listen to you.
Good luck !! Hopefully you will find something to get her to change if not you are looking at a child that will have problems in school and just in society in general.

Answer 9

My first baby was spoiled and I regretted it and worked very hard to change what I had done. With the throwing he does need to be told no and I would let him have it one more time if he does it again let him see you put it up. As for the napping thing if he is still in a crib put him in it he will eventually fall asleep even if he has to cry himself to sleep. If he is in a bed than put him to bed and close the door kids need to learn how to put themselves to sleep. Good luck with convincing your aunt and your sister with this.

Answer 10

No page or website can help you with that. He is spolied to the max. I alwasy tell my son no and not to do ti and if he keeps on I take things away or put him in his time out chair. Its fine to a certain extent but they need to knwo dinner time is nt for playing and throwing.