She's really old fashioned. I don't want her to fall into the stereotyping she's probably likely to do, but we want to go to prom together so she has to meet him somehow. His parents don't even care, they took it very well. They're more modern, but I just DON'T know how to make my grandmother be more open-minded!
2007-01-10 00:29:12 · 10 answers · asked by chrysalis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd try flat out manipulation...hey it works, that's why people do it.
Talk to her first, over a couple of weeks, days. Along the lines of Grammy, you taught me to be kind and generous to people. That's something I'm grateful for. Grammy, you raised my Mom/Dad to be kind and understanding and they are. I love that about my family..
Drop these here and there over the next few weeks.
Then tell her you have a friend, just a friend, that is coming over to study or whatever. He is white and you are afraid she will be offended, Will you Grammy? Be offended? I mean he's just a Friend? Then let her say whatever she's going to say and get it out. Then let a few days pass and talk to her about it again and remind her how much you love her, so you want her to meet your friend. JUST a friend.
Then give her time to get to know him over the next how long until prom. If she's still not open to him as a bf then go to the prom with him as a friend.
You gotta go slowly with old folk and give her time to adjust to the idea. She will suspect you of doing exactly what you are doing, but she will also know that she needs time to adjust.
It's the most kind thing for both of them even though it is a pain in the butt for you.
Good luck.
2007-01-10 00:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You grandmother has her own prejudices and it's not up to you to make her open minded, that's only up to one person, her.
You are your own person making your own way in the world. While it is the best senario to get our Family's blessing, this will not always happen.
EDIT: I would let her know first that you want her to meet your new man. Then set up a time. However why tell her he's white? Why make an issue of the colour? If anyone wants too, let them.
Introduce them, you may be surprised and have your own prejudices about what your think your Grandmother is like.
If she is upset, that is HER choice and her loss. If you are happy she should be happy.
Whatever happens, don't get angry at her. Listen to her and be respectful but remember this is not her life.
Good luck, and I hope you both have a great time at the prom.
Postcript> I really don't see why colour is so important in the States.. it's all you guys seems to see first. In NZ, we have our share of prejudices and racism as every country does, yet, skin colour just isn't the same big deal and there are a lot of inter-racial relationships both in real life and movies/TV. There is no way in hell you'd get a movie in NZ where a "black" boy/girl introduces his/her "white" boy/girl to his family. Skin colour just isn't the same big deal as you all seem to make it in the States. It is more about who you are as a person!!
John H, great answer, I'd love to give you a thumbs up but I'm not at that rating system so far.. so here's to you John!
2007-01-10 00:34:41 · answer #2 · answered by Lady M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Went through the same thing when my wife and I first got together. She is black. I am white. Her family took it in stride and welcomed me with love. My family (old south type) was my real worry.
I thought my grandmother would die of a heart attack when she met my fiance. Grandmother was 90, typical southern belle. She surprised me be being gracious and loving also. You never know. My mom reacted by asking "What in the world are you doing with my redneck son?" We all had a good laugh.
You never know how people will react to things. Just say "Grandma, this is ........" and let it go from there.
2007-01-10 00:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by John H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!You have a very common problem.The thing is that you have to talk to your grandmother and tell her how much this is important to you.If that doesn't work try to assure her that nothing is going to happen to you and that he is a really nice guy.It can work!And about introducing:first you come alone to her and gently say that you want her to meet your boyfriend and that he is the best in whole school and that he treat you like a princess!And he has to make a good impression on her too.So he has to be polite,kind and sweet!I hope I was useful and good luck!!!
2007-01-10 01:18:50 · answer #4 · answered by Chupawa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring him over and introduce them. Tell grandma who and what he is. People only learn and grow when they first get out of their comfort zone, so you may have to make her a bit uncomfortable first. If she can't accept him, then you must either disappoint the boy, or your grandmother. You have to choose which is best for you.
2007-01-10 00:40:44 · answer #5 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring him around as a friend and let your Grandmother get to know him as a person not a color. She will be more interested in if he is good to you and treats you like a lady.
2007-01-10 00:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by Frann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him go tanning for a month and then meet her or paint him up and down in black paint. Mine are old fashioned too its really hard almost impossible to deal with!
2007-01-10 00:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by Kat A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See with people like that that judge on skin that is why racism is alive in todays society. I would just talk to her and tell her before she meets him that your bf is white and that you don't actually see skin color you see him for who he is. I think she will come around.
2007-01-10 00:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by andyramvzb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your avatar is white with a tan, why is that then?
2007-01-10 00:36:42 · answer #9 · answered by D.O... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grandma this is chalky.lol
2007-01-10 00:35:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋