If I went to a mans house (not a stranger, my friends friend) with NO inention of doing anything sexual with him, as in I told him prior. He had said he would sleep on the couch and I could have the bed. But then I guess he changes his mind and trys to have sex with me. I push him away, turn away, tell him I dont want to for quite some time but seeing as theres nothing else I can do I just let him. Was this rape? I feel like I have been a horrible person.
2007-01-09 23:37:18 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also I have noticed a lot of people asking why I did not go home, me and my friend were out of town and decided to stay at her friends house. And when I say "I let him cause I didnt know what else to do" I dont mean I told him it was okay I mean I gave up trying to push him away and telling him to stop.
2007-01-09 23:48:47 · update #1
Well, you should not have let him do it. He didn't have to hold you down, did he? That really doesn't sound like rape to me. You could have just left his house if he wouldn't leave you alone. I think you should just avoid that guy from now on. Have a nice day!
Even if you were out of town, you could have gone ANYWHERE but there. I mean, there just isn't any excuse for it but perhaps ignorance. You could have stayed at a hotel, or even at a shelter or in the car. You could have threatened to have him brought up on charges if he wouldn't quit. He could make you leave his house, but who cares? Your self-respect is more important than that. I would rather sleep in the car overnight than have some punk like that all over me, if I were you. Anyway, cheer up! The world isn't going to end because some guy hit it. I hope he used some kind of protection, or you were on birth control. If you don't turn up pregnant, forget about it! Have a nice day!
2007-01-09 23:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly just to clarify, it does have to be physically force in order to cry rape - meaning u can still call it rape even if u do not have the marks, bruises etc. to prove it. What makes it rape, is when you've CLEARLY made it that you do not what sexual intercourse with the other person/rapist. meaning CLEARLY SAYING NO. So based on that did you voice yourself, did you say NO? or no but what the heck? You were not raped by someone, YOU raped yourself! not literally off course! Y? because YOU persuaded and forced YOURSELF to sleep with this man even though it was against your decision, YOUR CHOICE! Rape is a terrible thing to happen to anybody and you give people who have been truly raped, sexually offended, who's privacy and bodies have been forcefully invaded against their WILL a very bad name. Next time you want to throw in that word in to fill up a sentence think carefully. I feel really bad for you, in fact a bit of saddness because the only thing wrong that was done here is you compromising, sacrificing, demeaning yourself. You are ur own worst enemy. Next time you say NO - STICK TO IT! and don't budge, know what you want, LOVE URSELF, stick to what you believe in, your values (I presume you have those). Now what I will say about the man in question is that he did take advantage of the situation, he's an *** h*le for that.
2007-01-10 08:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by Thato 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is, did you let him or not? It is either YES or NO.
From what I read, it sounds like you did and are regretting it. You should have left once he started to beg you for sex. There is nothing wrong with saying NO, but you don't just let men have sex with you, so its one of two options.
Since you sound down and out, even if you said yes, I suggest contacting a local womens help line, or a rape center to talk about it.
2007-01-10 07:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by yourlordandsavoirjesushchrist 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Rape is defined that a man has penetrative sex with a woman against her will... if you just let it happen then yes it can be a form of rape but if you said ok then i'm afraid like others have said you slept with him an regret it
2007-01-10 07:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by nutti_chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone say you should have done this or that or if you didn't do this then it isn't rape. He did rape you. He didn't stop when you said no. It doesn't matter the reasons why you didn't leave, or whatever BS they want to feed you. If you said no, then it's rape. I'm so sorry for you.
2007-01-10 13:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state law where it occurred. Obviously we don't have all the details here.
The definitions of force and intimidation vary between states. You may have a case. Call your local police department and request to speak to an investigator in sex crimes. Give them your story and ask them what the law states. Your age alone may be a factor.
Either way, seek counseling. RAINN.org has a national hotline.
2007-01-10 07:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not rape. Now if he FORCED you to have sex with him, then yes that would have been rape. Seems like to be that you need to stop seeing this person, since he cant no for an answer.
2007-01-10 07:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by 88776 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he changed his mind and got into the bed, was there any reason that you didn't sleep on the couch?
Your friends friend is still a stranger to you. Was your friend there???
2007-01-11 19:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"There is nothing else I can do I just let him..." What do you mean, there's nothing else you could have done? You could have left the house. Regardless, if you had no intentions and you still didn't have any intentions after the deed, he did rape you. You should tell someone and don't blame yourself. Good luck
2007-01-10 07:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
To me you went there looking for just that- to have sex- sorry for the answer- but for what ever reason you didn't sleep in your own home then you should have gone to a females friends house to sleep- don't you think?
2007-01-10 07:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by Taz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋