she is always hurting my feelings and i can't really talk to her cause she backstabs me . She gets mad when i call and ask for my dad , and not her. i only talk to my dad cause he doesn't treat me bad . i've tried telling my dad what she does but he doesn't want to hear it . what should i do ?
2007-01-09 22:46:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you cant change her and your dad is either stpid or lovers blind.I was a stepmom too and I was always good to my daughter(step)I even hate that word since when you marry you should accept the other as well.Try doing something one on one like shopping or lunch to maybe see another side.If she still wontoryou cant try talkingto her.If that doesntwork you dont have a choice and the guilt lies on her.Its sad but happens allthetime.They hate the stepkids and only love their own kids......Be around heronly whenyou have to and talk to your dad only.She better get over it cause she is losing out on a great stepdaughter.
2007-01-09 23:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by karen e 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask her in front of your Dad. Tell them both that you would like a little time to talk to them both and then ask her point blank, in front of your Dad, why she finds the need to hurt your feelings. Tell them that you just would so much like to get along and be accepted and treated well by both of them. In a nice way let them know that it hasn't been easy. Tell her that the reason you always ask for your Dad is because you do not find it comfortable talking to her. When ever you are with your step mom, try to make sure your Dad is there to and paying attention. You can say things like, "Dad did you hear what (whats her name) is saying?" She said, blah blah blah. This way it forces him to pay attention to how she is treating you. If you confront your step mom without your Dad around then she can tell your Dad whatever she wants, it's your word against hers. It's a tough situation. The love he feels for her is much different than the love he feels for you. If you can find a way to get a little counseling it would be a big help. A counselor could teach you how to communicate with your Dad and step mom. The counselor might even suggest asking them to come with you and once or twice. Communication is everything.
2007-01-10 07:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to be settled on your own and do not try too much to get accepted. Perhaps she is immature enough not to realize that love begets love and hurting you is not the way to get you to love and respect her. Perhaps your dad does not want to listen to it because he might feel bad and guilty to you and wants to avoid those feelings. Anyways, next time she says anything, just tell her plainly that you don't like to talk to her because she just can't seem to speak lovingly to you and you do not want to hear about it. Ask your dad to give you a number where you can contact him directly - at work or mobile number for example. Tell her directly that you cannot bear with her attitude and she must excuse you from the formaity.
2007-01-10 13:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey I'm 23 and had it pretty tough with my step mum too, and I understand what you mean. Unfortunately for me I was a lot younger when I was going through all of that, but you are not, you can stand up for yourself and tell her how you feel. I don't see my dad and/or my step mum anymore, but you still have the opportunity to try and fix that relationship (if you want to). It would be really hard, but I think you should just be honest with her and tell her your feelings. I don't think she has any grounds to get mad at you if you call for your dad. Its your dad!! He too should also back you up and reassure you both that it is ok that you be asking for him. I really hope that helps!!! Take care...
2007-01-10 07:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all your 2 grown up 2 really care what someone thinks of you, continue 2 be polite and if u dont want 2 have anything 2 do w/ her thats your choice she sounds like a drama queen, i know the type it makes u wonder what your dad could see in someone, my guess is shes insecure and jealous oh yeah you can never be 2 old 2 be jealous because u have a bond w/ your father that she could never measure and break. and noone can backstab you if you dont tell them your buisness, keep it to yourself trust me on this one she could never ever be a bestfriend.
2007-01-10 06:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by tuttifruity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 21 years old. Not a child. Step back and think of how she must feel trying to keep your Dad and you happy at the same time.
Honesty is always the best policy. You have the upper hand because you have known your Dad longer. Try to be the adult that you are and show her how to be a better step-parent.
2007-01-10 06:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by girafflady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are 21 and im surprised u r still holding ur feelings in about her! indian stepmoms=complicated. If she gets mad be like Im sorry but Im really not interested in talking to you and give her examples of when she backstabbed u! Im happy u dont live with her...haha!
~Do u HAVE to marry to move out?
2007-01-10 16:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by HAPPY <3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 21,so now you are a major. Stop thinking about your stepmom and start living your own life.
2007-01-10 06:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by padosan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't even try it. If she has not accepted you all these years, she will never do, however hard you try. So don't waste your energy, time and money on her. You are 21 and should have a partner of your own. So look ahead and stop looking back.
2007-01-10 08:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by sonal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are 21. You are a major. If nobody listens to you, why should you care about them!!!!!! lead your own life alone!!! I mean find a job, earn your own money, find a house or hotel to stay and don't bother about anybody!! Live your own life as you wish!!!
2007-01-10 10:28:33 · answer #10 · answered by Neha A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋