im a single mother and i have 3 year old and he left me when i was pregnant and now he wants to come back into my sons life my son doesnt even know him the last time his dad saw him was when he ws born
2007-01-09 22:24:08 · 10 answers · asked by jr_jessica_jess 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Seek the assistance of an attorney. I would go through the courts and get court supervised visits to begin with and only if he begins paying child support. There are attorneys who will assist you with this on a sliding scale if money is a problem.
With the courts assisting you, you can assure the safety of your son. They are going to be on your side, since he has been absent for 3 years. I would seek an attorney now though as you want to go through the courts on your terms.
Good luck!
2007-01-09 22:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You consider what is in the best interest of your child. In order to do that, you should interview your son's father. Ask him what his intentions are, find out how long he plans to stick around. Offer him the opportunity to answer these questions pressure free. Your son deserves a father in his life, but your son also deserves consistency. If a parent is never known to a child it feels empty, maybe some hurt. But abandonment -if the child once knew that parent then he leaves... gives the child feelings of pain and anger.
If your son's father is reaching out, this could really be a good thing for both you and your son, so I wouldn't make a rash decision.
Good luck with the entire situation and kudos to you for the job you've done so far rasing him alone.
2007-01-10 15:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by WORLD FAMOUS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not opposed to letting him see his son. Just let him know that he cant just waltz in and out of the babies life. You either in or he's out and thats it. It cant be any drop in whenever you feel like cause if thats the case he can just stay gone cause its not going tomake a difference anyway. Let him know it isnt easy and it just dont work like that. And when he does see your son, dont let him come in talking about 'daddy this, and daddy that' to your son, That will confuse your son. Just take it slow if you decide to do so. He is around the age where he can pick up on different situations, and he doesnt even know him at all. It would be confusing and a little scary. All he knows is mommy, having somebody come in a say, 'I can take care of you just like mommy can' is scary especailly when he hasnt ever seen him before. Whatever you do good luck and remember its all really about your son.
2007-01-10 08:42:38 · answer #3 · answered by thikingdomcome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a hard one and it really up to you to decide what you feel is best, but keep in mind if he want to go through court they will grant him some kind of access even if is supervised, as the court states that every child has the right to know it parents, i mean don't let him have you son by him self if you don't fell you want to but may be let the father meet him a few times as friends and see how your son goes from there. i think it good he wants to see his son,
2007-01-10 06:32:15 · answer #4 · answered by pen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get pregnant again will he take off again. That is a hard decision to make. To let the child's father back into his life after he was gone for three years. You should consider as to where he was and who was he with those three years. Consider if he comes into his child's life is he going to drop out of it again when something gets to hard for him to cope with. Is your child better off knowing his father. What are his rights in the state you live in as the father of your baby. Is he going to pay child support and help you financially with the baby. Does he have a job and is he going to be reliable. Does he have other children out there that he is not supporting. Give it a lot of thought before you invite him back into your life. Is he willing to marry you and support you and the child.
2007-01-10 06:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you talk to him reasonably? like a sit down heart to heart. tell him after his absence of 3 years you have concerns, one being that your child doesn't know him. that at visits you want some one there, a friend, family member, some one that your son knows well just because he doesnt know his father and may be uncomfortable. some one your son can turn to that he knows. he may be willing to do that until a relationship is established. if not go to court and get it in a parenting plan.
2007-01-10 07:12:16 · answer #6 · answered by jennifer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a chance to be there for his son. Remember also that child support will be necessary for your child. The child support is for his son not for you. What I am trying to say, great he is back now he can start paying for the baby he made together with you. And also he could have changed, just go to the courts and let them know that he has not been around for 3 years and visitations have to be supervised until he has proved himself. Take my advise, about visitation. You have to protect your child before you know his intent. Good luck.
2007-01-10 06:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he has finally grown up and realized what he is missing. If you refuse to allow him to see your son now when your son gets older he will end up resenting you for keeping him away. Give them a chance to get to know each other. Also take him to court and have child support ordered and a set visitation schedule.
2007-01-10 06:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make things too convenient for him because he needs to know not being there for his son was not very responsible. I would not easily trust him.
2007-01-10 06:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by yummybubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe see how it goes maybe he just wasn't ready when he was born
2007-01-10 06:29:20 · answer #10 · answered by taytaymm28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋