HELP: Why don't my relationships ever last ?

Question

I have a big problem. I have never had a long term relationship, I don't know what my problem is because my longest relationship lasted for about 4 months ?! And I am a serial dater, I have dated more guys then I can count, I really just want a stable relationship because the whole dating thing is really starting to get old.

About Me:
-I am 5'7(Height)
-119 pounds(Weight)
-23(Age)
-I am very particular about a lot of things and I am a clean freak, I always have to have everything and I mean everything organized


Here are things I have done in my past relationships:
-I have always cooked for my boyfriends (I am a great cook)
-I have called my past boyfriends at least once a day
-I never had sex with any of them because I don't believe in sex before marriage (I know I am a bit old fashioned)
-I am also very confident and outgoing.

Answer 1

You sound fairly normal to me. The no sex thing is a bit of a hold up because although I respect you for it I could'nt of considered marrying someone without knowing that part of things was right.

May sound a bit superficial but sex is an important thing. The cleaning thing is cool cos I am really crap at keeping things tidy. I like to cook too though.

From what you have said you have probably just been unlucky so far.

Answer 2

You don't say who ended the relationships, but I'm guessing the guys did. "Confident and outgoing" + "Clean freak" + "cook for boyfriends" + "call once a day" + "No sex" = controlling nitpicker

You are overwhelming these guys too soon.

Decide what YOU want in a man and then look for those traits. You don't have to date every guy you meet.
You shouldn't be inviting the guy over for a "home cooked meal" too soon. Be aware most guys will look at that invite as a possible opening for sex, then get annoyed when dinner is all they get.
Quit calling every day!! Makes you sound desperate for attention. I suspect that is the scariest thing you are doing.
No sex. Most decent guys will respect that. You have the responsibility of making it clear. Can't dress like a hooker then tell your date you're "not that kind of girl".
Confident and outgoing is fine until it turns into overbearing and brash. If you're at a party with a date and you are chatting up all the other guys at the party, don't expect your date to be O.K. with that.
At 23 you at an age when you are still learning about us louts. Relax and enjoy this time of your life.
I'll close with this old joke: What is the best way to attract a man? Show up naked, bring beer.

Answer 3

Mmmm, not sure if I should say this but hey what the hell. I support your decision in waiting before marriage. I think that's a great idea but....from the tone of your message and this has nothing to do with the no sex thing. I think I might know what your problem is. And I know your going to freak when I tell you this. ......I think you might be too nice....What I mean is men may say that want a nice stable women but they also need a little excitement. Being too nice can be a little boring. I am not talking about sex. I'm talking about that little sexy attitude. You know, that attitude that says I'm hot and your lucky to have me. Men want that sultry self-confidence of a she-devil but the body of an untouched innocent angel.
Just take note of something though, and I'm speaking from experience, a man will love you for what you have between your ears and not your legs.
You can give your virginity to a man and he won't love you or you could have been the town slut and a man will fall madly in love with you. Love just happens, its not in our control.

Answer 4

I dont' think you're going through anything any other female hasn't had to go through until they got that special one. Maybe you should stop dating so much and he'll come to you . Don't be so eager to find that right one. As most know. when you're looking for something/someone you may never find em' but once you stop looking it's like they start coming after you. You are still very young and i like the fact that you have old fashion ways. I along with other ppl probably wish they had or kept these same morals as you. So, basically.. just wait and let them come to you and i gurantee you'll find the right one and you have plenty of time to do so. Get a hobby or hang out in a place you'd least expect to see yourself at. Try some new and interesting places to go.. Who knows you may just bump into Mr. Right in the wrong place. Good Luck!

Answer 5

ok. I'm gonna be honest. Most guys are not going to stick around if they aren't having a sexual relationship with their girlfriend. I respect your beliefs. However, not haing sex with your partner may cause problems. I encourage you to think about this, not to change your mind but to just think about how you might be able to improve this part of your relationship without compromising your beliefs. Also, I would suggest giving therapy a chance. Just try it out. It helps to have a therapist to explore this type of issue. The neat freak thing might be causing problems. You might want to look at that too. You sound like a great girl. Don't worry. Just be patient and it will work out.

Answer 6

Hello!
When I read your question I first thought: oh,really,why is it so? it's a pity, but perhaps I know the reason.
You know, our relationship is developing in stages. There are several-I would't name them. They come one after another not in the particular time but when both are ready for the next stage.
I think you may start and have good relationships but then comes the next, sexual stage and it nocks on the door but you don't open - than it goes away together with relationship.
I don't want you to change your ideals but we are living in the 21 century. So, the only way to prolong your relationship is to
1) be really in love with somebody who would love just the way you are and wait till you are ready for the sex or would marry you after some time of dating (the essential condition is to be absolutily
honest with Him)
2) to marry some guy rather soon))

Wish you luck! Be brave and honest!

Answer 7

I would love to find a woman like you. Sadly this day and age, many men base a relationship on sex. Since you are not giving it up, they move on to the next one who will. Now do they go off and get married and live happily ever after, nope. Stick with your beliefs, some man out there is just right for you. I would love to go out with you.

Answer 8

not doing it before marriage isnt called old fashioned - mind that please,it shows u know how to master your patience and dont confuse love to other thing else,which is good.if others called it old fashion they r being immatured.

n to your ques why doesnt rship last,well just to summarise it maintain those which you need to n forget the rest.people come n go n eventually change wiht time n we have no control over them.just focus on the specific group of people around u - family friends someone speaical etc

Answer 9

Quit calling the old ones! Start fresh. They probably want sex and they know your boundaries so they just let the relationship go because they know other girls go for it. Save yourself it will be worth the wait. Quit being so Neat that scares some people.

Answer 10

Slow down....
Well, try to be...a little more hard to get. Or be more interesting by holding discussions of many different things.

But I'm afraid it's just something that everyone would like to know, but do not always have the answer for. One has to study one's self and see what is wrong.