im 21, ive known my boyfriend for 7 yrs, i dated him for a year those 7 years ago, im pregnant with his kid, hes abusive and says that im not responsible or considerate, any i try not to do anything to step on his toes. before you say that you should just leave him, i live 4 hours away from anyone i can go to, i work full time and have a management position at my job. my money is direct deposit into the bank (we have a joint account) and i have no car (i drive his) i have friends that can go to, but id have to give up so much...what to i do?!
2007-01-09 18:11:54 · 16 answers · asked by blu3_p1x1_st1x 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he works third shift as a security guard, he makes like $200 more than me a pay check. i have people i can go but its all out of state, im not ready for that yet, my parents dont know im pregnant yet
2007-01-09 18:25:15 · update #1
pray, talk to your boyfren about this, don't loose your temper when talking to him.. and be patient.. well praying is the best i can say... God will help u .
2007-01-09 18:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by jaison_healer18 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You plan ahead. Create a new bank account that isn't joint and start having the money deposited there. Find a place to go, there are womens shelters available if you can't find a place. Do all this at the same time.
The job thing can be resolved by finding a place to stay near your work. The car thing? Take the bus until you can get a car.
Do what you have to do. Abuse generally gets worse. It doesn't generally get better. Do you really want him to abuse your kid when it's born, because, deep down inside, you really know that he would.
I've answered you reasons for staying with him. Now, the ball is in your court. If you have this kid and he or she is raise in an abusive relationship, you'll have no one to blame but yourself. Fix it.
The best place to go, and you may disagree, is the cops. Go to a station and ask what services they provide or know of for people in abusive relationships. Explain the situation just as you did here or even give them a link to it.
2007-01-10 02:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jack Schitt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though I cannot say I have been in this same situation my advice would be to leave. If you can find a friend who will drive you or your parents will come pick you up. You need to leave. You may lose your job but it's better than losing your life. Plus if you explain to your job why you have to quit I guarantee they will give you a good reference or possibly tell you of a job in the area that you are going to go. Close your part of the bank account, have your name taken off of it so that your last check will be mailed to you instead, and take whatever money belongs to you. You could even ask your job to mail your last check to where ever you go. I know your parents will let you come home but you really need to leave. Nothing is more important than your life and your childs life. I wish you the best.
2007-01-10 02:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by Samantha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm nnot to knowledgable bout laws in the states... if your job has other branches, transfer. When you leave (which you will) makes sure you take exactly half of the account balance, and never do a joint account with anyone again. open your own account and make sure your nex cheque will go into there and your still young, it maybe a struggle for the first bit but with your friends help, you should be good to go.....what about family?? they might go out of there way a bit more if they know ur in trouble.
2007-01-10 02:20:20 · answer #4 · answered by orangeunderpants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First go to the bank and take out what you would need to start a new account, tell your employer what you are doing and give him/her the new account information. Then have your name taken off the joint account. I'm pretty sure friends wouldnt mind helping you in anyway. You do not need to be in that relationship cause trust me he will only get worse. I have been in an abusive relationship and it was not pretty.
2007-01-10 02:19:58 · answer #5 · answered by acestjohn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first thing you got to do is to open your own account and what ever is in your joint account with draw it and close the account ,next you have to make a definite change in your residence find a place close to your work, because if you decide to have the baby you should not be four hours a way, ask your mom for help she is the best friend you do have, she might grumble and grouse but there is o one more understanding than her,if you move your residence closer to your place of work, you would have solved the problem of transport,
have a confidential talk with your boss about giving you companys house i do hope you have that facility where you work, or better move back to your parents if its possible and of course tell your boy friend go to hell , it might change his attitude cause he thinks your dependant on him , best of luck
2007-01-10 03:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by cluelesskat maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you gotta take a good look at yourself and ask your self how much am I contributing to the relationship some woman only blame the men for their anger problem but are you good to your man do you respect him maybe not. Plus its kinda your fault for getting involved with a man like this, he is who he is and you still chose to be with him and then you made it worse by having kids, so men are not to blame in these situations. Your just going to have to find a way out pack them bags and get a job online in the city and get a studio apartment or something.
2007-01-10 02:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you will not like my answer but you will be told this by an older person. ( I didn't get it until the time came to experiance)
When you are tired of him you will go with your friends, regardless of what material or replacables you might loose in the process. Do what you got to do. It is about the baby!
Go to a local or another cities Battered Womans shelter or Salvation Army will help you or refer you.
The police department has info too.
Please leave asap, its about the baby now!!!
2007-01-10 02:20:25 · answer #8 · answered by OOhSooFlyyyy....... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can go to the bank and open a new account, have your direct dep sent to it, or just cancel it all together and get a paper check. contact a friend to take you those 4 hours to family. do soemthing. do you think a baby deserves that kind of life? talk to your job..is there another location you could transfer to? if you want to leave you will...it's a matter of choice
2007-01-10 02:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Angeleyez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey any thing is possible and if you want to get a way that bad it wont matter how far you are away from any one you can get you a ticked for the gray hound to where you can get to someone and take his car to the bus station and go where ever your going so you can moved on with your life not saying that it's going to be easy but it's for your safty and that baby cause it can get worse
2007-01-10 02:26:36 · answer #10 · answered by sarah l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to make a new start away from him before it goes too far. i work in emergency rooms and i have seen girls that didn't make it. your life is worth a lot more than what you would lose by moving. and it also very likely that the baby could get hurt, or worse, with his next outburst. get out.
2007-01-10 03:05:11 · answer #11 · answered by bones 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋