If a friend's girlfriend is dragging him down, how long to you wait before calling him on it...?

Question

I have a friend who is dating a 19 year-old girl (my friend is 33). About 6 months ago they moved from Wyoming back to our home town and they were living with his mom at first. Turns out the girlfriend is a lazy bum. She wouldn't get a job and even snubbed a job my friend's mom hooked her up with. My friend's mom wound up kicking them out because the girlfriend was just a lazy slob. Last I heard they were living out of a motel. Every time I've tried to contact him in the last few months I just get his voice mail and never hear back.

My question is how far do I let it go before telling him to get his head together and realize the girl is dragging him down. Or do I just wait until he figures it out on his own and be there while he mopes in his beer.

I'm always the one who says "stay out of it" when it comes to getting between a friend and his girl, but there has to be a point where it's gone too far.

Answer 1

When a girlfriend starts to affect a man's work habits and how and when he hangs with the guys, then it is time to step in and have a man to man talk. This girl is clearly ruining your friends life. While she may look great now at 19, she will look like sh*t by 25 if she continues to be lazy and does not do anything. Point this out to your friend and also tell him that someone that does not work is not able to care for kids either. Hope this helps. You are doing the right thing by being there for him.