I am in the process of planning for a wedding and with the reception we want to limit the number of attendees. However, we have no limitation as to how many people can attend the actual wedding. How do you distinguish one from the other so you can invite more people to the actual ceremony than the reception?
2007-01-09 17:33:23 · 19 answers · asked by mqj7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Maybe im not explaing the situation as best as I should be. We're having a reception of lets say 300 people. However, there are a number of people outside of that 300 that are REQUESTING to attend the wedding and not necessarily the reception. Under these circumstances we dont mind if they wish to come to only the wedding. So what do you do? Tell them no?
2007-01-10 01:44:55 · update #1
And to respond to one of the answers, I don't expect anyone that attends the wedding only to give a gift. However, I feel that anyone that attends the reception should.
2007-01-10 01:49:08 · update #2
for me, its rude - how would you feel if you were invited to a wedding but not to the reception? if you cant afford a big wedding, then you should limit the # of guests you're inviting. why are you trying to limit the # of people at the reception? why? is it because if they attend the wedding, you dont get to spend a penny? and if they attend the reception, its extra money for you to spend? just imagine and think about it - if you're one of the guests and you're ONLY INVITED to the wedding, what would you feel?
2007-01-10 02:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by Chelsea's Momi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, the problem is the other way around, with more people being invited to the reception than to the wedding. That is usually handled by the invitations stating the particulars of the reception, and a little card being added which states that the guest is also invited to attend the ceremony.
I don't know how you can do this, really. You can try the above mentioned enclosed card trick, and try reversing it: make the invitations to the wedding ceremony (clearly stated), and then put in a card inviting people to the reception. The problem I think you may run into is that people expect to go to the reception, and if it follows the wedding, they are going to hang around, because it's tradition to congratulate the bride and groom AFTER the ceremony, when they are actually married.
The only other thing I can think of is that you have your wedding early in the day, with a pseudo mini-reception to follow, and then have the real reception later in the afternoon or the early evening. When I say pseudo mini-reception, I mean setting up a receiving line and having like punch and cookies or something. That allows the people who attend the wedding but who are not invited to the reception to congratulate the bride and groom and give a gift if they so desire. If you do that, just allow a lot of time between the wedding ceremony and the reception, so that there is no one left hanging around from the ceremony who isn't invited to the real reception, which could be a little uncomfortable.
Good luck!
2007-01-09 17:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, this can be dificult. I had many people who said they could not attend the reception, but like your case they wanted to attend the wedding atleast. However, most of them DID decide to stay for some of the reception and you need to plan for that. People change their minds, and don't RSVP and some do RSVP then don't even show. I would just invite the amount of people you can afford to have, if 300 is your number than stick to 300. You don;t want to invite 300 to the wedding/reception and 100 to the wedding only and then if they decide to stay you won't have enough food or drinks or maybe not even enough room! It is your call, but it could turn out bad if you are not careful.
Good Luck!
2007-01-10 05:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by palomastephens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even regardless that it's supposedly right etiquette to ask anyone to a reception, however no longer the rite, I disagree. To me, the foremost occasion is the alternate of vows. The reception is comfortably a celebration to have a good time this. I could be harm if I had been invited to 1 and no longer the opposite. If you're set on having it your manner, ship out 2 specific invites, a consistent one and a further containing simplest the data at the reception. Beware that it will reason confusion, as a few visitors name to uncover out what time the rite is meant to be. They might expect an oversight, and no longer observe that they have got been omitted.
2016-09-03 19:33:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I suggested to another person....
Why not have a small intimate ceremony and a small reception? You need to consider how you would feel if you were invited to a family member's wedding but were not welcome at the reception.
One recommendation might be to have the ceremony on one day and the reception on different day, so that you aren't linking the two events (in which case the size of each won't matter).
Another might be to just have a cake/punch reception rather than a full meal or just have a cocktail reception (w/hors d'oeuvres.) That way you don't have to feed everyone a full expensive meal and you can celebrate with everyone who attends your wedding.
2007-01-10 00:28:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just have a small wedding, that way everyone who is invited to the ceremony, is allowed at the reception.
Feelings will get hurt, if they aren't allowed to the reception.
I know at my wedding, some people were only able to attend the reception.
2007-01-09 17:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but inviting people to the wedding and not the reception is just plain rude. I would either just have a small amount of close family and firends for the wedding so all could go or if its a matter of cost for the reception have it cocktail style...its cheap and should allow all your guests to attend.
2007-01-09 20:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by blu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford to invite people to both, you are having too big of a wedding. And all you want are the gifts.
If I got an invitation to just the wedding and not the reception, I would not only decline to go, but would send no gift either. It is just plain rude not to invite people to both.
And it doesn't matter what royalty does! I'm assuming you are not marrying Prince William!
2007-01-09 21:50:29 · answer #8 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ughh....how would YOU feel if you were invited to a wedding and not the reception? I would make a bet you would not feel very good about it, or about the wedding couple. It's just really rude and should never be done. I bet you expect the people who attend the wedding and not the reception to give you a gift too. I could go on and on about this, but the lack of manners and etiquette when it comes to weddings absolutely stuns me.
2007-01-09 17:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by MelB 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You really can't do this, it would off-put people, and is really not fair. Those you invite to your wedding should be invited both to the ceremony and reception. They attend the ceremony to witness your vows, then the reception to celebrate your marriage. Keep things equal; you don't want to cause bad feelings between people.
2007-01-09 21:59:24 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋