I never cheated on him, and there was nothing in the world I wouldn't do for him. People tell me time heals all wounds, but I still have not made any progess in the getting over process. I've dated new people but they don't compare; I simply do not feel the same way. I still talk to my ex on a regular basis and he says he doesn't know what the future holds but at the same time he isn't ready to "give me a chance". He broke up with me because I wasn't treating him right & the way I reacted to the break up pushed him away even further; he told me I killed his love for me. I have learned a lot since & have matured, I know what I did to ruil our relationship but I also know I'd never treat him that way again. He says he still loves me but isn't in love with me. I don't understand how a love can die from someone who once said I was the love of his life & nothing I could do would ever change that. I need advice, do I continue to wait for him? or force myself to completely let go?
2007-01-09 17:13:37 · 10 answers · asked by xxxtina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just wanted to make further clear. I do not bug him about his feelings & I do not call him, he is still in constant contact with me. He says he still loves my personality it just "isn't time for him" (to give me a chance). I dont know if he's feeding me this to keep me around, or if its the truth & he plans to give me a chance one day. Heaven forbid I bring up getting back together, he automatically thinks that Ive made no progress moving on if the thoughts of getting back together are still in my head. How do I forget about the single most important thing in my life? How do I just walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me? I really believe in true loves & for so long he did too, if I really was his for so long, how is it possible for that kind of feeling to just go away? Especially considering I never did anything too bad to end the relationship. Since then I've dated, I've come across the nicest of guys, but the feelings just aren't there, they are with my ex.
2007-01-11 04:37:37 · update #1
My wife and I went through the same exact thing. To her credit I can say I believe she loves me as she has worked hard, daily, for FIVE years to regain my love. I stayed with her for the kids, initially.
Anyway, the reason I wanted away from her was because I did not believe she truly loved me. I loved her, but I would not allow myself to be in love with her. It sounds like you're man is feeling similar to me. Anyway, my wife never quit once she knew what she must do. She gives me whatever I want, whenever I want it. She bathes me if I ask. She absolutely kisses my rear end, but, when I'm wrong, she'll fight back. So it's not like she does it with no dignity.
I'd try to strike a balance in his favor for a while and if you tire before he comes back around, then you don't love him and he did the right thing.
That's my opinion.
2007-01-09 17:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I simply do not feel the same way". It's all about YOU and not about your new dates or your ex-, isn't it?
It's great to admit that you've made mistakes in the past - you are human after all! But the past has PASSED. Of course you want to feel valued and in a relationship. But for the love of .... please leave this poor bloke alone!
You need further maturity and growth as a person in your own right and the constant ruminating over "the feelings" you had about the good ol' days isn't helping, is it?!
Keep exploring new interests and meeting new people. Keep dating. You're young. Have fun! Go on a holiday. Get a massage. Treat yourself to a facial. Learn a new skill. You get the idea?
2007-01-09 17:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a effective and unbiased lady, who has been slowed down by way of the flawed guy. You have performed very well matters for your self and your son. If your husband does not love you and respect your efforts, he does not deserve you. First you need to speak to a attorney to look what your choices are together with your resources. If you have got a joint financial institution account, do NOT deposit to any extent further price range into it. Keep your paychecks separate. Talk in your husband approximately your intentions. If he does not exhibit any obstacle, you will have to continue with the divorce bureaucracy. If he needs to paintings matters out, probably you will have to supply him yet another hazard and a few very precise specifications for matters to paintings. It seems like he's over the wedding and is utilizing you to your cash. I realize that hurts, however a few persons are simply merciless and egocentric. Take care of your self and your son. Get out of the residence up to you'll, and do matters for your self! Go for walks, get a therapeutic massage, prepare dinner a pleasant dinner for you and the boy. Maybe you might ask your husband to move keep on the different flat you have got, so there's much less anxiety. It might be rough, however you're doing the proper factor for your self and your son. Be powerful, and do not forget that that is NOT your fault.
2016-09-03 19:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you look at things the other way around? Does your ex compare with the other guys you meet?
I mean, you seem to be set on that dangerous path so common with women and that'll get worse yet if you allow that kind of feelings settle in your mind. Looking at your future in the rear-view mirror will only bring about grief and sorrow. When you're 40 and past, you'll be wretched and sour about your relations with decent males, and part of that is likely to come from you. Love is really all about future, not just past.
I doubt you take heed. They never do. Good luck, though
2007-01-09 17:27:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT keep waiting for him. And my advice, from life experience, would be to no longer speak to him either. If you want the healing to begin... you have to cut ties with him... at least for a while. The fact that you're still calling him and asking him about his feelings for you is making you look desperate to him. What you have to do is make yourself happy... make your life a great one. Look good always... advance yourself... go to college... get new interests/hobbies... and maybe once you're on a role you will actually FEEL good as well. If your ex doesn't hear from you anymore then maybe he'll get curious about what you're doing... and maybe he'll call youa nd will have interest. The way you're going about things now only makes you look like you're pathetic in his eyes. Sorry.
THE BEST WAY TO GET HIM TO POSSIBLY EVER BE INTERESTED AGAIN IS TO CUT HIM OFF, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE... AND LIVE A WONDERFUL LIFE WITHOUT HIM.
2007-01-09 17:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by Jenna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can deffinatly understand this if you've lost your virginity to him. If not, the best thing I can tell you is make him think you are not into him anymore. Make it seem as though you are over him and don't need him. Try not to think about him, as much as possible but...
after a while, if things still seem to be the same... talk to him. Have a decent conversation and remind him of all the good times you've had. <33
2007-01-09 17:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Good Samaritan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner you let go and move on the sooner you will be happy. And if you've learnt from your mistakes the next guy will be happier too. Work on breaking contact with the old guy - it's the only way to really heal.
2007-01-09 17:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things; let go and stop comparing everyone to him. You need to get on with life and stop living in the past.
2007-01-09 17:23:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to let go. Hard to do sometimes...but the sooner the better. Get out, forget it...move on.
2007-01-09 17:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm...tis a really hard 0ne..ummm.....u should talk to him and ask him abt how and y its happening like wat ur asking now...giv him details and y u still love him and y u cnt get over him and y u dnt understand dat he can throw his love for u away jst like dat and if it seems lke he really isnt into it..then u should force urself to let it go..rather than force him to love u...which is not gud....cos love isnt forced...lol...ok..?
2007-01-09 17:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by cherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋