How can i politely ask my girl to shed twenty pounds?

Question

she is healthy, and she is beautiful, but i am sorry, but her stomach and crotch pot are a big turn off

I evidently do not like her for who she is since i want her to lose weight. I think she has a lot of potential but if she wants to have regular sex with me, she is going to have to fix that part. If i didn't brush my teeth, i am not going to say love me for who i am.

Answer 1

politely...um how about by not asking...

Answer 2

Dude, what are you going to do when you get old? Say your married. Your 70 yrs old and your wife of so many years has put on pounds over the years. Will you divorce her because she is no longer beautiful, hot and sexy? Instead you have a wrinkled wife? Come on get a life.
Don't be so damn shallow. I mean 20 pounds isn't that much. I could understand if it was more on the up words of 50 lbs. but 20. What size does she wear. I mean come on there is way to much pressure to be beautiful the way it is. Cut the gal some slack. And besides if your shallow like this now.. What are you going to do if yall get married and she gets pregnant.. And she gains say 30lbs. Which is a health amount of weight to gain.

By the way I think she deserves better. Shallow men should have their you know what cut off and not be allowed to reproduce.

Answer 3

Maybe try starting a healthy "pound shedding" hobby like hiking or bird watching? It would be good for both of you and save you the awkwardness of having to ask her the question at all. If the 2 of you go hiking together a couple times a week it might solve the problem.

Answer 4

If your g/f needs to shed weight, you can invite her to a gym membership. You can usually get a discount for paired memberships and set a work out schedule with her. For example, you can invite her every time you go to the gym. Eventually, it will become part of her routine and this will encourage her to work out regularly even without you. Another choice is to invite her out to "healthy" restaurants for lunch or breakfast instead of dinner. Suggest a healthy meal for her, tell her that you've previously tried it and it was delicious. Be creative with your dates and invite her to events that encourage her to move, such as walking, dancing, or swimming. Once she's shed some weight, reward her and buy her something sexy and tell her how wonderful she looks. Positive reinforcement always works better than negative. Furthermore, a change in your lifestyle as a couple is beneficial to you as well.

Answer 5

Well, if you feel you need to be a little sneaky about it, or can't quite just come out and say it, why not tell her that you're wanting to join a gym, or start walking every day, and tell her that you want her to go with you....tell her it's an excuse to spend more time togather (she'll like that, i'm sure) and be all for it. Just make sure you keep up your end of the deal, and you'll become healthier this way! Good luck!!

Answer 6

Ask yourself first, do you want her to do this for her? or is it actaully for you? Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to unless she is living an unhealthy life style.

In society, I think many people have a hard time telling someone else they need to lose weight because the people they tell him take the comment to seriously and sometimes overreact.

If your girl isn't that kind of person and can take the comment, just tell her nicely that it would be best for her health to lose weight. If you're also out of shape, you can tell her you would lose weight with her or act as her coach.

Answer 7

I really don't think there is a polite way to ask that question. If you love her for her then her weight shouldn't be a problem. Maybe you could suggest joining a gym and working out together. My true thoughts though is that if her being 20lbs overweight for you is a problem then theres a possibility that you are a very shallow boyfriend.

Answer 8

I don't think there's a polite way to do this. However, if you really want her to lose weight, maybe you could encourage her to workout or walk *with* you. Join a fitness center together or a local softball team or something like that. Also evaluate *why* you want her to do this. For looks? For health? You don't want to hurt her feelings and you don't want her to think you don't love her just the way she is. Also, maybe you could share meals when you eat at a restaurant and go for a romantic stroll instead of a dessert afterward.

Answer 9

Learn to accept her for who and what she is. If you don't find her physically attractive anymore, then you need to decide whether or not you want to be with her.

Is 20lbs worth ending your relationship over? I don't think so, but you might.

I recently gained weight and am uncomfortable with my body. My boyfriend is aware of how I feel, but has no problem with my extra weight. He still thinks I'm beautiful. He actually thinks I'm crazy for worrying about an extra 20lbs.

But, when I told him the other morning that I need to find something to do in the morning, the first thing he said was "join the gym, you said you need to loose weight, now's your chance to do something about it."

Needless to say, I was extremely insulted.

So to make a long story short, if you love her and don't want to hurt her, then don't mention it and learn to accept it. Otherwise, prepare for a major fight.

Answer 10

There is no polite way to do it. But if it really bothers you, tell her that you want to get fit and into shape this new year, but that you won't be able to do it on your own cause your not motivated enough and ask her to help you follow it through. Then go and join a gym or something and start exercising together!

Answer 11

There is no way to do it politely!

I guess if you want to approach it though, probably best to start with the health aspect - ask her if she feels healthy, or does she always feel tired and lethargic... then go from there.

Or alternatively, you could say to her you want to spend more time with her, so will she join a team and play sport with you? Or join the gym with you etc - maybe you can motivate her, if you join in on the health kick you want her to take.